Gwyneth Paltrow is always telling us how to live our lives. She claims if we eat all macrobiotic and shit we’ll look awesome. Judging from her ass the main ingredient in her kale smoothies is cellulite. It looks like... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow and Kate Hudson hit the same evening spot without bras to show the world that yoga and plastic surgery and money are literally unstoppable. The two celebrity moms exchanged ideas on how to fleece the female general... READ MORE

Expert on everything Gwyneth Paltrow is appearing before congress to talk about GMOs. Because, you know, having starred in Shakespeare in Love makes you a fucking scientist. Can congress have people arrested for being fucking stupid? Read all about... READ MORE

Professional White person Gwyneth Paltrow is selling handbags on her shitty Goop website that have the names of famous dead rappers like Biggie and Tupac on them. Gwyneth is why minorities hate White people. What’s next? Fubu? (The Superficial)... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t like being compared to other actresses who have started lifestyle websites selling thirty dollar mason jars and non invasive salt shakers even though they’re doing exactly the same thing. She feels the comparisons are unfair, even... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow has been declared a guru of health despite having pretty much of all her tonics and colonics and health regimens debunked by science as pure enrichment programs. She’s Dr. Oz if you wanted to hate fuck Dr. Oz.... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow is officially divorced from her ex-husband Chris Martin. You can new age label this shit all you want, when a couple hens with tons of dough call it quits, there’s a ton of legal work to get... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow bought a week’s worth of groceries for $29 as part of the N.Y. Food Bank challenge which ask rich people to pretend to be poor people much like Marie Antoinette did with her friends before the revolution. $29 is... READ MORE

Goop goddess Gwyneth Paltrow is recommending her readers steam their vaginas. Apparently, Gwyneth shoots scented steam up her love tunnel like an 1800’s locomotive. Doctors and sane people don’t think you should do this. Lesbians remain cautiously neutral. Read all... READ MORE

When Gwyneth Paltrow approaches, you can count on two things. First, she’s going to tell you that you look amazing but you’ll quickly realize she’s really talking about herself. Second, she’s going to reluctantly share a crazy sex thing... READ MORE