Paris Jackson Sends Poltergeist Papa After Wendy Williams

November 9, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

The apparition of Michael Jackson is moonwalking all over a Mrs. Wendy Williams’ soul according to Paris Jackson. When you can’t keep the name of a pop star’s kid out of your mouth bad things are going to happen.

READ MORE

Paris Jackson Sings Just Like Michael Jackson If You’re Deaf

October 23, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

When I saw a bunch of headlines pop up announcing that Paris Jacksons sounded just like her totally biological father Michael Jackson while performing with totally biological cousin Austin Brown in West Hollywood over the weekend, I thought “Duh, why wouldn’t she. They’re biologically related.” The African American actress, model, and now singer warbles her way through superstar Brown’s song Smile, and whoever says she sounds exactly like her father might be confusing Michael Jackson with someone with a terrible voice. Not Katy Perry terrible, but still pretty bad. Taylor Swift terrible I guess. 

READ MORE

Work Your Arm to Ana de Armas and Shit Around the Web

September 22, 2017 | crap around the web | Robert Paulsen| 0 Comments

 

Big booty beauties, Ashley Hart naked on the beach, and more!

READ MORE

Paris Jackson’s Tattooed Tatas

September 6, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Troubled teens and tattoos typically go hand in hand. What other options of self-expression do you really have when your dad is dead.

READ MORE

Paris Jackson Posts Cute Spit Swapping Pic With MJ

August 29, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Get a room. Paris Jackson took to Instagram to wish late papa Michael Jackson a happy fifty-ninth birthday with an adorable pic that shows the two tenderly face porking. This birthday being a big one for Michael as five and nine were his preferred ages of suitors. African American Paris Jackson often waxes nostalgic about her biological father, but in this latest Instagram caption, she really goes in on their ill-fated romance.

READ MORE

Paris Jackson Makes It Official: Nazis Are the New Russia

August 28, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

MTV Award shows are a good chance to capture the zeitgeist of the nation’s young people who found primary education a taxing experience.

READ MORE

Paris Jackson Home Alone With Macaulay Culkin

July 31, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Celebrities and decent parenting are water and oil. Who better to give godfather duties to than a child star who Michael Jackson once shared a bed with.

READ MORE

Paris Jackson Breaks Ground With Texting Only Interview

June 20, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s not uncommon for celebrities to be interviewed by phone. For shitty magazines. For editions of Vogue in major Western nations, when an expensive photo shoot is involved, it’s highly unusual. For Paris Jackson, it was a texting only interview with Vogue Australia. 

READ MORE

Paris Jackson Nude with a Purpose and WNBA Lesbian Conspiracies on the Last Men on Earth Podcast #87

May 18, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

On this week’s  Last Men on Earth podcast , we delve into titty shows as slacktavism’s best turn ever, consider how few people truly see Caitlyn Jenner as heroic, surmise that Gabourey Sidibe simply isn’t Chanel material, ponder how a woman pees into a cup on a jostling aircraft, find yet another reason to call the WNBA a waste of space, wonder who the hell is watching strangers give birth on Facebook Live, find it impossible to name one positive thing about Steve Harvey, and I interview my young non-gender binary child Bobbi as to nature versus nurture in the matter of girls avoiding STEM. Like those social media titty pics, this content is also for free. 

READ MORE

Paris Jackson Stands Up for Nudity

May 15, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Paris Jackson took to social media to defend her right to be naked on camera. Attractive young women remain convinced that nude selfies are how they make their feminist bones. What a wonderful fucking turn of events in the world of the patriarchy.

READ MORE