Halle Berry Sweetest Juice and Crap Around the Web

January 17, 2018 | crap around the web | Robert Paulsen| 0 Comments

Pia Mia Perez bikini beauty of the day (DrunkenStepfather) Who’d you rather: Kim Kardashian v Sofia Richie (TMZ) Margaret Atwood eaten alive by her own angry women cubs (TerribleWords) Kendall Jenner braless in a tight sheer top (TaxiDriverMovie) Halle Berry looks stunning on the red carpet (Egotastic) Macy Chanel: Instagram Hottie of the Week (EgotasticAllStars) Lily Mo Sheen in a bikini so […]


Sofia Richie and Pia Mia Underwear Friends

March 9, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Somebody ruined all the fun in lesbianism. What used to be cheerleaders going down on one another on late night cable has turned into a boring semester of identity politics. Butch flannels and lectures are in. The scissor-kissing sessions to scented candles but a faded whisper of better times. Could this minor Flaunt magazine pictorial be an omen that lesbian shit is about to be for men again? As God intended.


Pia Mia Perez Pink Bikini Titties And Shit Around The Web

September 24, 2016 | crap around the web | michael-garcia| 0 Comments

Pia Mia Perez is easily written off. Less easily so when showing off her titties in a pink bikini because you tried to write her off. Now who feels schooled?


Pia Mia Perez Understands the Program

October 27, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Grandma used to warn the young’uns not to dress showy or boys would think you were that kind of girl. Now archetypal prostitute garb will get you where you need to go. It’s not sex work if you pretend you’re a musical artist. How’s that album with Kanye coming along? The jet for Dubai leaves at […]


Pia Mia Perez Opens Up to Uncle Terry

September 23, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s unclear whether Uncle Terry slaps these girls with his cock before or after the shoot. Maybe one for good luck prior, then a countdown of raw penis slaps across the chops depending on how well the shoot went and if they are known to have parents that give a damn. This Pia Mia Perez […]


Kylie Jenner Skin Tight Wing Girl

August 26, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Kris Jenner brought out her sex mannequin daughter and her friend from Guam trying to be an immigrated harder whore to remind everybody that her posse rolls hard, big, and will do anal for Bitcoin. Kris Jenner was being celebrated for her new cover of Haute Living magazine, which is apparently a magazine in English […]


Kendall Jenner, Hailey Baldwin And Pia Mia Perez in Bikinis in Mexico

August 14, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Mexico is sending us their rapists. We’re sending them our whores. It makes sense if you studied street economics. Kris Jenner dispatched Kendall Jenner along with Hailey Baldwin and Pia Mia Perez down to Mexico to chaperone her barely legal daughter being fucked on the cliffs of Acapulco by her rapper boyfriend and a dudes […]


Kylie Jenner and Pia Mia Perez Spandex Truants

May 29, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Kylie Jenner’s 957th unexcused absence from school was a day well spent. The Jenner daughter sorted out her feelings on chemtrails and dad’s nationally televised castration by grabbing brothel locker partner Pia Mia Perez and rebooting Adrian Lyne’s Foxes along Rodeo Drive. If nobody sees your camel toe, do you really exist? I’ll leave that […]


Jenner Girls Try to Maintain Normal

April 29, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There’s a shit ton of stuff you can get done as a teen when high school isn’t on the menu. Get Softcore United on the phone tree and coordinate a bare midriff shopping trip. Some day, you’ll shopping as a grown woman. This is practice. Sneak into the alley for a cigarette. Tell laid out […]


Pia Mia Perez Peaks

February 23, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

When your daughter comes to you with a vivid dream of showing off her tits and hanging with the Jenners and having Kanye as her late night private music mentor, that’s not a dream, that’s an omen. She may only be twelve, but inspirational quotes don’t include phrases like ‘wait for your first period’. Time […]