Farrah Abraham Regrets Fucking On Camera

America's favorite backdoor done got paid mom Farrah Abraham says that her "sex tape" ruined her life. The star of that MTV show about loose teens said that doing the "sex tape" with James Deen led to all kinds of personal problems: "It made it hard to have friends and a... read more

Jessica Simpson Lost 500 Pounds on Weight Watchers

Jessica Simpson is finally living up to her multi-million dollar Weight Watchers endorsement deal. She had signed a fat contract to lose weight on the program a while back but she suffered from the small problem of being fat, then pregnant and fat, then just fat, and... read more

Shia LaBeouf Is Plagiarizing Again

Shia LaBeouf has received a cease and desist letter from comic book artist Daniel Clowes after he ONCE AGAIN attempted to steal his shit. This bag of douche posted storyboards from his next project Daniel Boring. The problem is that Daniel Boring is  a Daniel Clowes... read more

Olivia Wilde Still Looks Pretty Great

Jessica Simpson was on Good Morning America yesterday to push Weight Watchers by bragging about how much weight she's lost since having her second child, which is interesting because she looks about as comfortable as a gay couple at a Duck Dynasty cast party in every... read more

Someone Stole All The Naked Photos On Lindsay Lohan's Laptop

In a since-deleted Tweet, Lindsay Lohan claims that her laptop was stolen while she was at the airport in China, where she was recently honored with a fashion award by some people who really needed any celebrity in the world to show up. For most people, it would probably... read more

Robin Roberts Takes the Lid Off the Gay

What a relief for Robin Roberts. Now that she's shocked the world by announcing she's the rare lesbian women's basketball player, she can gush with endless amusing anecdotes about her life partner just like the other talking painted smiles on morning television. For... read more

Kris Jenner Wants You To Celebrate Her Breasts

Because she'll always be a teenage girl at heart, Kris Jenner posted a Flipagram of her favorite pictures to her Instagram yesterday, and if you're not sure what a Flipagram is, it's basically an automatic slideshow with music that can induce seizures if executed... read more

OJ Simpson Asks Obama For Clemency

Mr President, I know my life is coming to an end. Please, don't let me die in prison. I feel the end coming. But I don't want to die in prison like common jailhouse scum. O.J. always did have a way with words. I mean, after his speech and language training. As a college... read more

Olga Kent in A Bikini

Don't let that smile fool you. This chick just swam 1800 nautical miles to get to America. She's got a real estate mogul husband in her future in the least. I don't know what country she came from, but let's call it Rest of the World Not As Good As America-stan. We're... read more

Sean Penn Gets Special Sheriff's Escort

Sean Penn is a lethal weapon. His fists of fury can't just be let loose into a sea of paparazzi pestering him about nailing Charlize Theron with his Oscar winning dick. Somebody is going to get whacked in the sensitives. So the L.A. Sheriff's showed up to escort Sean... read more

Audrina Patridge Confesses to Being Fake

Audrina Patridge has decided to come clean on the fact that The Hills was an entirely staged television show. Kristin Cavallari said the exact same thing a month ago, but Audrina decided against thundering up an original idea in the empty fruitbasket doctors implanted... read more

AJ McCarron's Mom Is a Not Racist

AJ McCarron's mom, who I guess tweets about football since she did birth out a decent ball player, made fun of Jameis Winston's oral communication skills after the BCS Championship Game. Then she got called a racist by a bunch of people because Jameis Winston is black so... read more

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