Axl Rose will be on the Jimmy Kimmel show

By brendon October 01, 2012 @ 6:54 PM

axl_rose

In what is being called his first televised interview in over 20 years (unless you count talking to Fred Roggin after a Lakers game in 2001), it was announced today that Axl Rose will be a guest on the Jimmy Kimmel show on October 24th.

It’s not clear if he’ll perform on the show with the current version of Guns N’ Roses, but he might to promote their 12 shows at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas starting October 31st. Tickets for that start at $45, but increase to $100 if he actually shows up.

Ali Landry is a good paddle boarder

By brendon October 01, 2012 @ 6:00 PM

ali_landry_bikini_paddle_board_maui

Ali Landry went paddle boarding in Maui over the weekend, and “Hawaiian paddle board instructor” seems like a pretty good job. Not only do you get to stare down Ali Landrys top and right at her ass, but if someone like Paris Hilton showed up you could attach a bucket of chum to the back of her board before sending her out. “Okay, yeah, just keep going straight out, have fun.”

(image source = pacific coast, splash, fame/flynet)

Heather Graham is still terrific

By brendon October 01, 2012 @ 5:17 PM

heather_graham_zurich_film_festival

I will never understand why mean haggard cunts like Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Aniston keep getting jobs when the producers could have just hired Heather Graham, who is better in every possible way. And this is just a guess but it even looks like she got implants. I stared at her dress and tried ripping it open with my mind so we could find out, but no luck so far. I’ll keep you posted.

(image source of heather at the zürich film festival this weekend = wenn, getty)

Seth McFarlane is hosting the Oscars

By brendon October 01, 2012 @ 3:16 PM

seth

Apparently it’s incredibly hard to recite pre-written jokes without completely fucking it up, so we’re down to this now: Seth McFarlane will host the Academy Awards on February 24th. Show producers told the LA Times

“We are thrilled to have Seth MacFarlane host the Oscars. His performing skills blend perfectly with our ideas for making the show entertaining and fresh.”

And it happens to be a guy who loves singing big dramatic musical numbers. So their “fresh” idea seems to mean, “that same crap Billy Crystal always did.” Because God knows Seth McFarlane is totally open to stealing other peoples material and recycling the same idea over and over again (*).

One change they should make is when they present the awards no one cares about like Sound Mixing, instead of someone good like Halle Berry they should have someone like Shelly Long and Alan Thicke come out. That way the winners don’t get any grandiose ideas about their place in Hollywood.

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Justin Bieber threw up on stage

By brendon October 01, 2012 @ 1:17 PM

justin-bieber-throws-up-on-stage

You no doubt got the gist of this from the headline, but Justin Bieber threw up during a concert in Glendale, Arizona, this weekend, then ran off stage like a frightened little girl (video here). Then he came back, threw up again, pranced away again, finished the show, then tweeted that he’s in bed “getting better.”

“LOL! I’ve been there!” Lindsay Lohan said before giving him some tips on how to suppress your gag reflex while bent over with a bunch of guys.

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Anne Hathaway got married

By brendon October 01, 2012 @ 12:28 PM

anne_hathaway_wedding_dress_pictures

For months leading up to Kim Kardashians wedding, we heard every detail, and all her endorsement deals were right out in the open, but Anne Hathaway snuck off to Big Sur this weekend to marry Adam Shulman, her boyfriend for the past 4 years, and it was a total surprise.

She didn’t even auction off pictures of her dress to the highest bidder, she walked around right out in the open. I don’t see how she’s even gonna make a dime off this wedding. Personally, I think this sicko has some ulterior motive to getting married. I don’t what it is yet, but it’s all very suspicious.

(source = people. image source = fame/flynet)

Jessica Simpson tried to get lap-band surgery

By brendon September 28, 2012 @ 9:44 PM

lucy_pinder_in_lingerie

Losing weight is hard and takes discipline, and Jessica Simpson is lazy and spoiled, so naturally she got tired of dieting to lose weight after giving birth almost immediately and asked doctors to give her a gastric by-pass. Twice.

Radar says…

“After having her daughter Maxwell, Jessica felt there was no way she could ever lose the weight on her own because she has struggled so much in the past and her post partum weight seemed to be growing, so like a true Hollywood girl, she sought out a quick surgical fix – lap band surgery!”

But they turned her down of course because at that point she had made more trips to the doctor than the gym. She’s hungry, not morbidly obese. (*)

(*) but still fat enough to put up pictures of lucy pinder in lingerie instead of jessica.

FOX News accidentally aired a live suicide today

By brendon September 28, 2012 @ 6:04 PM








Just before 3:00pm ET today, Fox News began covering what seemed to be a routine car chase in Arizona. Police were in pursuit of a carjacker who, after hitting speeds of 110mph on the highway, pulled onto a winding dirt road, got out of the car, ran for a hundred yards or so, then shot himself in the temple.

And despite being on a 5-second delay, and Shepard Smiths obvious trepidation, the suicide was broadcast. Smith immediately issued an apology, and I appreciate the sentiment but it wasn’t necessary. It was a carjacker with his pants belted around his thighs and a Raiders jersey. I would have shot him just for the pants.