Amanda Bynes is out of psychiatric hold and back under a blanket. I thought maybe the blanket was a metaphor for how she’s been devastated by the media culture. But now I think she’s just trying to hide the fact that she’s looking more and more like the boy from Powder. What does the future hold for Amanda Bynes? Let’s spin the wheel of crazy and see where it lands.
Update: Amanda’s parents filing for conservatorship, say she’s paranoid, nuts, and blowing through her millions.
Photo Credit: PCN
Miley Cyrus is a girl who benefits from the black and white medium. Also closing her mouth and and being naked and being Photoshopped. I’d wear her naked on a t-shirt for charity. Even if that charity is for skin cancer who has tried desperately hard to get people to stop being naked.
Photo Credit: Miley Cyrus/Twitter
Talk about the confluence of artistic powerhouses. Winnie Cooper and Avril Lavigne hooking up can only mean one thing — epic music video. I almost can’t wait not to ever watch it. I might be tempted, I do love Winnie Cooper, but I’ll never last through the VEVO commercial. Sk8ter boi, out!
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN
Amanda Bynes’ parents will go to court today to try and prove that the former child star needs to be in their care because she is, you know, fucking krazy with a K. We told you about Bynes’ being picked up for starting a fire in an old lady’s driveway and dowsing herself and her dog in gasoline a couple of days ago. Right now Bynes is on a temporary psychiatric hold but her parent’s say she needs full time care. They will have to prove three things: 1) She can’t provide for her own well being 2) She can’t take care of her finances and 3) They can provide a stable home. Well, 1 and 2 are pretty fucking easy to prove. What’s the last year been if not her showing that she’s baby eating crazy and can’t take care of herself. The parents say she has schizophrenia but refuses treatment because she thinks she’s just fine…which just proves that she’s crazy. However, I question if they can provide a good home.
Any fucking parent that lets their kid be a professional actor is a bad parent. It’s somewhere on the spectrum of child abuse between the “sorry closet” and “Satan told me to make them hold their breath in the bathtub”. You’re child’s survival rate is much higher serving on the front lines in Afghanistan. And with much more dignity. If Amanda does have schizophrenia it was something she was probably going to develop anyway. but how much fucking worse has her mental illness gotten because she’s famous? Maybe the best thing for her is just to spend a few months in a nice quiet psyche ward. She can play checkers and watch the Price is Right and hopefully not be lobotomized and then smothered by an Indian chief.
Miley Cyrus was a guest on the British morning talk show Daybreak earlier this morning, and among other things she discussed why she thinks that she’s been able to have such a successful career. And while we’d expect the answer to be something like, “Because my father was famous and my parents had no problem pimping me out to Disney, which in turn made me a superstar thanks to its army of mindless child viewers,” she actually attributed it to karma.
Miley told host Aled Jones that she thinks that she must have done something right in a previous life in order to have all of this success, and I couldn’t watch the rest because my eyes rolled all the way into the back of my skull and then lit themselves on fire.
Ice-T’s wife, Coco Austin, was a guest on the daytime talk show The Real yesterday, and, as always, the topics of discussion ranged from nuclear physics and the origin of man to the existence of life beyond our universe and the role of religion in government. Fortunately, they also found the time to talk about her giant ass that she’s so very proud of, and that was great of them, because nobody ever talks about Coco’s ass.
According to the Daily Mail, the 34-year old reality star explained that people have always accused her of having ass implants, so she let the hosts all get a handful of her bouncy posterior, before she cemented her point with a twerking showcase. And somewhere Philo Farnsworth crawled out of his grave and shouted, “That’s why I created this thing!”
Carlos Danger…er…Anthony Weiner is getting some financial help for his campaign from a fellow perv. Mike Kulich is a pornographer out in LA who wants to encourage Weiner to stay in the mayoral race by making a movie called, fittingly, “Don’t Pull Out”. Kulich says that one scene will feature Ginger Lee, one of Anthony Weiner’s sexting partners. When asked why he feels that he needs to help keep Weiner firm, Kulich said,
“Sex scandals like Weiner’s make it easier for my business. Everyone wants to think politicians are so clean, but they sext and watch porn just like normal people.”
Yeah, I don’t know anybody above the age of four who thinks politicians are clean. We all know politicians are largely drunken louses who failed at real jobs and found that their blind ambition and ease of lying left them fit for no other position. I just assume politicians who spend their time sexting and watching porn are at least not fucking up something really important. Think of all the stupid shit Weiner can’t do because he’s busy stroking himself in a chat room. Think he has time for a big cup soda ban in New York? Not when his BDSM roleplay is just revving up at the ball gag stage. Everybody wins.