naomi watts seems nice (EXCLUSIVE)

By brendon February 16, 2009 @ 8:46 AM

Naomi Watts just had a child in December, yet she’s already back to work and not only that but going full frontal in Marina Del Rey for the movie "Mother and Child".   She’s a beautiful woman but you can definitely see the toll pregnancy took on her body.  I wonder if the producers knew she was gonna look like that when they signed her up to go naked.  If not this was maybe pretty awkward.  If you don’t know all the details things can be awkward.  Like one time my friends asked me if I wanted to go to a drag show and I thought it was weird but I figured why not, and to get in the spirit of things I dressed up like a French maid, but when I met them there it turns out they meant “drag race”.  Like, with the cars and the rednecks.  

When I woke up a few days later, I was famous!  On certain sites!

(picture source = Coqueran/MAYER PHOTO)

salma hayek got married

By brendon February 16, 2009 @ 6:14 AM

A French paper is claiming that Salma Hayek has married the father of her child, billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault (that handsome devil pictured above).  And the report is probably true, considering Pinault owns the paper reporting it.  People magazine says…

Hayek, 42, and Pinault, 46, were married on Saturday – St. Valentine's Day – in the City Hall of the Sixth Arrondissement in central Paris.
There had been recent reports that the couple – whose daughter, Valentina Paloma Pinault, was born in Los Angeles in September 2007 – had reunited after they had called off their marital engagement in July 2008.

Well hopefully this doesn’t mean Salma will stop wearing trampy dresses that show off her huge boobs.  Because a lot of guys would miss that.  Personally I’ll miss the quiet times when she and I would just read the paper in the morning.

chris brown has apologized

By brendon February 16, 2009 @ 5:45 AM

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Chris Brown beat the hell out of his girlfriend Rihanna last week, and now, just 7 days later, he's man enough to say he's sorry.  But not so sorry that he's going to an accredited therapist or anything like that.  Because, you know, c'mon.  It's not like he killed her.

"Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired. I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones and I am committed, with God's help, to emerging a better person.
"Much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and/or reported in the media is wrong.
"While I would like to be able to talk about this more, until the legal issues are resolved, this is all I can say except that I have not written any messages or made any posts to Facebook, on blogs or any place else.
"Those posts or writings under my name are frauds.”

So, if you’re keeping score, he spent 40 words saying he was sorry and 70 words saying he didn’t update his facebook.  At least his priorities are in the right place.  A lot of crazy things have been said, but Chris wants to make it clear that any rumors of a SuperPoke are bullshit.  

i heart lily allen, part 26

By brendon February 13, 2009 @ 4:35 PM

Pictures like this are why people say a picture is worth a thousand words.  You can just look and tell Lily Allen was doing a radio interview and they asked about her third nipple and, even though she was wearing a dress, she didn’t even pause to hike that thing up and show them.   Most other girls aren’t like that.  They’re all stuck up.  You rarely get to see them take their clothes off at a moments notice.  Unless you pretend to be the cable guy and hide cameras in their bedroom.   Which is why I do that.

(picture source = splash news)

the choice seems clear

By brendon February 13, 2009 @ 11:29 AM

Earlier this week there was a rumor that Mickey Rourke was now “dating” Courtney Love.  Which apparently is news to Mickey Rourke, who told TMZ last night that he’d rather "be on a deserted island with a gorilla" than Love.  When asked for a comment, Jennifer Love Hewitt said, well yeah, obviously, because the monkey would just eat the bananas and stuff, but Courtney would probably want some of the cake.  Then someone explained that "deserted" meant "abandoned", not "frosted".  It doesn't mean "turned into a dessert".  And she said, what, no, no you take that back. TAKE IT BACK!

(Is Mickey grinding on Thandie Newton and then rubbing his balls?  Of course he is.  Why wouldn’t he be?)

jessica simpson is mistaken

By brendon February 13, 2009 @ 10:17 AM

I’m not happy at all about Jessica Simpsons attitude these days, or any other hot chick who thinks they need to love themselves for who they are.  This is Hollywood, not Lane Bryant.  Jessica was once superhot, and she can be again if people would stop filling her head with self-esteem building garbage.  I see enough waddling asses when I go to the mall, I’m not gonna stare at them at work too.  Unfortunately she doesn’t seem to think there’s a problem.  Us magazine says…

Jessica Simpson's biggest concern about her performance Thursday at NYC's Madison Square Garden?  Her outfit.  "I've had times when my pants split right down the middle when I bent down to reach a note,” Simpson said.  “That's why I'm wearing a skort – not a skirt, not a short – just so they wouldn't split."

Yeah that must have been it.  It was the note.  Look, it's not like I’m asking Kirsten Dunst to get hot.  Obviously that’s never gonna happen.   You might as well ask a catfish to get hot, but Jess can do it, IF we all make fun of her constantly.  It's my new shame-based diet.

someone here craves attention

By brendon February 13, 2009 @ 5:54 AM

Katrina Darrell is better known as the girl who auditioned for "American Idol" in a bikini, then tried to make out with Ryan Seacrest.  She made it through the first two rounds but got bounced this week because she sorta sucked and was annoying.   People should vote for Casey Carlson instead, who is twice as hot while trying half as hard.  She's a natural beauty, much like myself.  And she can sing, so she doesn’t have to do stuff like this.  Stuff like go to Everything But Water in Beverly Hills and scream for attention.  This Katrina chick is gonna kill herself when she finds out she’s not that hot.  Her legs are good, and her ass is terrific, but she’s sort of ugly.  And her tits aren’t very big, which annoys me.  There’s no point in wearing a bikini unless you have big tits.  There’s barely even a point to being a girl.

(picture source – pacific coast)

which one is dakota fanning?

By brendon February 13, 2009 @ 5:29 AM

I hate when pictures aren’t labeled, because Dakota Fanning was allegedly at the NAACP Image Awards last night, but I can't spot her.  Where is she?  Which one is Dakota?!?!?!

(image source = getty images)