Brooke Mueller Takes Bob And Max Into the Woods for Training

By Lex November 18, 2013 @ 5:53 PM

Brooke Mueller Takes Bob And Max Sheen On A Hike With Her Bodyguards In Beverly Hills
At some point the Sheen Twins are going to need to know how to bury bodies in shallow graves that won’t wash out with the first rains, how to create deadly poisons from ingredients found in nature that can’t be traced by CSI investigators, and, animist spells to turn themselves into woodland mammals to avoid detection from manhunts. Brooke Mueller doesn’t know how to do any of this shit, but she’s taken enough drugs in her life to believe she does. So she took her little Kray Twins out into the Beverly Hills boondocks over the weekend to begin their training. Brooke was able to laugh off Charlie Sheen’s latest nasty Tweets because they won’t seem quite as funny when her boys are running homemade spears through Charlie’s spleen because the rescue shepherd told them to.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Jada Pinkett Smith Looks Fucking Fantastic

By Lex November 18, 2013 @ 4:50 PM

Jada Pinkett Smith Leaves LAX In A Weird Zebra Shirt And Braids
Jada Pinkett Smith must be laughing at how lesser women fall to pieces when rumors of their spouses’s infidelity start swirling around. In her years in Hollywood she’s probably had to comfort tons of these basket case wives whose showbiz husbands are reportedly sampling the ladies outside the wedding bonds. So don’t look to Jada to be anything but a rock with reports of Will Smith getting friendly with young Australian actress Margot Robbie. If you notice Jada shaving her head and taking on the guise of Ogbunabali, the Igbo God of Death who kills the unfaithful in their slumber, it’s just a fashion statement.

Photo Credit: Splash

The Howe Twins Still Digging for Gold

By Lex November 18, 2013 @ 4:22 PM

The Howe Twins At The Sunset Marquis 50th Anniversary Party
I’m sure some accomplished person once declared sticktoitiveness to be the key to success. The Howe Twins just refuse to give up on their dream of fucking their way famous in Hollywood. No slutty ambitious identicals with big fake tits want to go back to England with their tail between their chaffed legs lamenting over what might’ve been. Not when their Golden Ticket lies wrapped around the junk of a man probably within five miles of their motel room headquarters. When they finally uncover that shiny voucher to the good life, even Grandpa Joe’s going to get himself a rim job on the house.

Photo Credit: PCN, WENN

Petra Benova And Her Hotter Sister Play In Bikinis

By Lex November 18, 2013 @ 3:57 PM

Petra Benova And Her Sister Play In Bikinis On The Beach In Miami
It’s been a few months now since I heard from Petra Benova on why I’m a freaking asshole for pointing out that her sister might be the better looking of the two, and with a much nicer ass. I suspect Petra regrets not having offed her younger sibling in her cradle the minute she saw her coo cuter than she ever did. It’s not pretty, but neither is working your way out of Eastern Europe into paid modeling gigs and wealthy suitors in South Florida. I don’t care where the competition comes from, you kill it before it kills you. Petra Benova needs to invite her hotter sister out for a hang gliding adventure vacation in one of those South American nations where for a few bucks they don’t do tons of investigation. Go ruthless or go back to the salt mines.

Photo Credit: Splash

Rihanna and Drake Make It Rain at Strip Club

By Lex November 18, 2013 @ 3:28 PM

Vlive Strip Club Where Rihanna And Drake Spent 17k In Houston
Drake and his late night strip club date, Rihanna, and his posse of twelve dudes who follow him around to falsely compliment him, spent upwards of 100 grand of cash at a Houston strip mall strip club. One of the strippers claims the couple was ‘nice’ and Rihanna even gave her inspiration to pursue who singing career while slapping her ass. I guess I can’t judge Rihanna for being like every other dude I’ve ever gone to a strip club with. For his part, Drake’s hired friends decided it would be a good idea to film each other at the strip club throwing huge amounts of cash around. Then film the girls backstage counting all their cash, you know, just to give some low hanging fruit to the local IRS office. It’d be easy to lament the gratuitous amounts of cash wasted by a pair of young knucklehead singers, but I’d rather look at the glass half full and call it one fortunate evening to have chosen whoring over dental hygienist school.

Photo Credit: Splash

Brandi Glanville Is Number One

By Lex November 18, 2013 @ 1:55 PM

Brandi Glanville Gets Carried Home Drunk On Her Birthday After Dinner In Beverly Hills
The last time Brandi Glanville went out and got snookered, she ended up stumbling around West Hollywood with her ass exposed and a tampon string hanging out from between her legs. Relative to that, this weekend’s sober drinking birthday dinner was relatively tame. At least, there was a posse of helpful people put in place in anticipation of Brandi knocking back a few. She even brought out her Celebrity Rehab counselor friend who I guess did not have a resume builder kind of evening. Brandi might think about wearing pants the nights she hits the town, just in case her vagina gets weepy again with the drink.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN, WENN

Xenia Deli Models Bikinis For Mar de Rosas Swimwear

By Lex November 18, 2013 @ 1:45 PM

Xenia Deli Models Bikinis For Mar de Rosas Swimwear

Photo Credit: Mar de Rosas

Kathy Hilton Shows Off Her Tits

By Lex November 18, 2013 @ 1:27 PM

Kathy Hilton Goes Braless Out In West Hollywood
Being a socialite, fashion designer, and philanthropist mother to two smiling mannequin daughters is no easy task. When she finally gets a night off from the burden of command, Kathy Hilton likes to show off her tits out on the town. Why not a little attention for mama and her renovated yabbos? Those are the nurturing mammaries that Paris and Nicky got to see from afar as their Swiss wet nurses kept their bellies full of milk and trained them to dislike black people.

Photo Credit: Splash