Irina Shayk Brought Her Side Boob To Cannes

May 23, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Irina Shayk won Cannes last night. It’s over, all of the other celebrities can get back on their expensive boats and jets and go back to their other meaningless parties, because Irina and her black dress are the best things we’re going to see this week, short of someone suddenly inventing […]

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Paris Hilton Signed To Cash Money Records

May 23, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

It turns out that Paris Hilton has a pretty good reason to be hanging out at the de Grisogono cocktail party and Roberto Cavalli‘s yacht party with her boyfriend River Viiperi – she’s a music superstar. Anyone who was hoping her forgotten 2006 album, “Paris”, would be her only attempt to pretend she was an […]

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Alessandra Ambrosio Looks Nice At Cannes

May 22, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Victoria’s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio could have Fran Drescher’s voice and Amanda Bynes’ brain and she’d probably still be invited to everything from the Cannes Film Festival to the birth of Jesus because of her amazing ability to stand in one place and look gorgeous. Alessandra attended last night’s De Grisogono party at Cannes, probably […]

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Someone Stole $1 Million In Jewels At Cannes

May 17, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Sofia Coppola‘s The Bling Ring is the true story of a group of regular nobodies who wanted to be famous so much that they stalked young celebrities via the internet to find out when they wouldn’t be home and then broke in and stole a bunch of shit from them. Some of the stars were […]

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Cindy Crawford Still Has It

May 17, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

The 66th Cannes Film Festival kicked off in France yesterday, as some of the world’s biggest movie stars and celebrities hit the red carpet for the opening ceremonies. The event began with The Great Gatsby, so stars Leonardo DiCaprio and Carey Mulligan showed up to do their promotion duties, while celebrities from Steven Spielberg and […]

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really seems like this boat could have gotten closer

May 29, 2012 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

There are some fish who will not believe their luck if they happen to look up right now. (image source of victoria silvstedt in cannes this weekend = inf, fame/flynet, splash)

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Kristen Stewart actually looked hot today

May 26, 2012 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

It took a few years of trying and several hundred failed attempts, but Kristen Stewart actually looked like a girl today at the ‘Cosmopolis’ premiere in Cannes. Or at the very least a boy I’d let go down on me. (image source = getty, wenn)

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Victoria Silvstedt is some kind of immortal

May 26, 2012 | Uncategorized | Brendon| 0 Comments

It’s been 15 years since Victoria Silvstedt was named Playmate of the Year, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at her in a bikini in Cannes today. It’s like she hasn’t aged a day. Do we actually know anything about her before 1997, or did she just arrive here from Asgard one day? (image […]

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Nicole Kidman forgot something

May 26, 2012 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Nicole Kidman went to a screening of her movie ‘Paperboy’ at Cannes last night wearing a dress that also acted as a thermometer. So be grateful it’s not Khloe Kardashian wearing it, because then we’d have to see her dick. Or dicks, whatever the case may be. She has to have at least one. (image […]

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Janet Jackson might have had a little work done

May 25, 2012 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

I don’t know who’s been doing plastic surgery on Janet Jackson, but it sure as hell isn’t any doctor. Her nose is a completely separate shade from the rest of her. One eye opens wider than the other. Her smile is, at best, sinister. This could have been a sexy outfit but the only thing […]

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