Irina Shayk Brought Her Side Boob To Cannes

Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Irina Shayk won Cannes last night. It's over, all of the other celebrities can get back on their expensive boats and jets and go back to their other meaningless parties, because Irina and her black dress are the best things we're going to see this week, short of someone suddenly inventing X-ray vision. It's pretty amazing to think that there are always rumors about Shayk's boyfriend,...read more

Paris Hilton Signed To Cash Money Records

It turns out that Paris Hilton has a pretty good reason to be hanging out at the de Grisogono cocktail party and Roberto Cavalli's yacht party with her boyfriend River Viiperi - she's a music superstar. Anyone who was hoping her forgotten 2006 album, "Paris", would be her only attempt to pretend she was an artist can start tying the noose, because she's not only going to release a new album next year, but it will be...read more

Alessandra Ambrosio Looks Nice At Cannes

Victoria's Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio could have Fran Drescher's voice and Amanda Bynes' brain and she'd probably still be invited to everything from the Cannes Film Festival to the birth of Jesus because of her amazing ability to stand in one place and look gorgeous. Alessandra attended last night's De Grisogono party at Cannes, probably just because the company's founder, Fawaz Gruosi, wanted to take a picture...read more

Someone Stole $1 Million In Jewels At Cannes

Sofia Coppola's The Bling Ring is the true story of a group of regular nobodies who wanted to be famous so much that they stalked young celebrities via the internet to find out when they wouldn't be home and then broke in and stole a bunch of shit from them. Some of the stars were big names like Orlando Bloom, Megan Fox and Rachel Bilson, while other stars like Paris Hilton and Audrina Partridge weren't ever stars at...read more

Cindy Crawford Still Has It

The 66th Cannes Film Festival kicked off in France yesterday, as some of the world's biggest movie stars and celebrities hit the red carpet for the opening ceremonies. The event began with The Great Gatsby, so stars Leonardo DiCaprio and Carey Mulligan showed up to do their promotion duties, while celebrities from Steven Spielberg and Nicole Kidman to Beyonce's sister and, for some unknown reason, David Hasselhoff got...read more

really seems like this boat could have gotten closer

There are some fish who will not believe their luck if they happen to look up right now. (image source of victoria silvstedt in cannes this weekend = inf, fame/flynet, splash)read more

Kristen Stewart actually looked hot today

It took a few years of trying and several hundred failed attempts, but Kristen Stewart actually looked like a girl today at the 'Cosmopolis' premiere in Cannes. Or at the very least a boy I'd let go down on me. (image source = getty, wenn)read more

Victoria Silvstedt is some kind of immortal

It's been 15 years since Victoria Silvstedt was named Playmate of the Year, but you wouldn't know it by looking at her in a bikini in Cannes today. It's like she hasn't aged a day. Do we actually know anything about her before 1997, or did she just arrive here from Asgard one day? (image source = splash)read more

Nicole Kidman forgot something

Nicole Kidman went to a screening of her movie 'Paperboy' at Cannes last night wearing a dress that also acted as a thermometer. So be grateful it's not Khloe Kardashian wearing it, because then we'd have to see her dick. Or dicks, whatever the case may be. She has to have at least one. (image source = wenn, bauer-griffin)read more

Janet Jackson might have had a little work done

I don't know who's been doing plastic surgery on Janet Jackson, but it sure as hell isn't any doctor. Her nose is a completely separate shade from the rest of her. One eye opens wider than the other. Her smile is, at best, sinister. This could have been a sexy outfit but the only thing she looks like she wants to do with my dick is rip it off and beat me with it. (image source of janet at last nights amfar cinema...read more

Paris Hilton has taken Cannes by storm

So, Paris Hilton went to Cannes, and she spun and twirled and posed on the sidewalk while some twink yelled her name so everyone would look at them as he pretended to be a photographer, even though it looks like he's never actually seen a camera before and has no idea what it does, so he just kind of pushed it back and forth toward her on the off chance that maybe that would do something. This is what you get when you...read more

Nicole Kidman pee'd on Zac Efrons face and chest

Nicole Kidman plays a white trash slut so well in 'the Paperboy' that they might as well have called it 'the Dina Lohan Story', especially since they'll both be remembered for the awful thing that came out of their vaginas. As the Huffingtom Post says... "The Paperboy" debuted at the Cannes Film Festival on Thursday, and Lee Daniels' "Precious" follow-up provided attendees with the chance to watch Nicole Kidman...read more

Kelly Brook wore a see though swimsuit

Another good idea would be to take pictures of Kelly in a bikini made of cling wrap, or my semen, or to just cover my ears and babble really loudly while Kelly insists I never gave her a bikini and she's actually naked. (image source of kelly today in cannes = bauer griffin)read more

Kelly Brook has been busy at Cannes

Kelly Brook really made the most of her time in Cannes yesterday. She started with the photo shoot in the phone booth (there are finally more pictures from that), then got on a boat in the same outfit, then changed into a gold dress for another shoot last night, then went to a party on Diddys yacht wearing just a long white coat and a black corset. She's obviously thicker now than she used to be but that's ok because...read more

Michelle Rodriguez is in Cannes, a bikini

There's always bikini pictures during the Cannes Film Festival, because all the cool Hollywood people try to stay at the Hotel du Cap (or as Brett Ratner called it, "the Hotel du Crap". LOL! Oh Brett, is there no end to your creativity!), specifically the Eden-Roc property. It's right on the edge of a small cliff and they have diving boards so you can jump right into the ocean. Kirsten Dunst, Victoria Silvstedt, and ...read more