Nickleback Hates On Beiber And Shit Around The Web

By Jack February 20, 2015 @ 11:30 AM


Nickleback lead Singer Chad Kroeger attacked fellow Canuck d-bag Justin Bieber for being a d-bag too. There’s obviously no side to root for here except the very precise meteor because most of Canada still deserves to live long enough to be raped of its oil deposits.

Read all about Chad’s feelings towards Justin. (TMZ)

Hot narcissitic chicks take steamy selfies in the mirror. (The Chive)

Jessica Lowndes bikinis like a fucking champ. (Egotastic)

Parks and Rec producer Harris Wittels dies of an apparent overdose. (Huffington Post)

Samantha Hoopes gives good underboob for GQ UK. (Drunken Stepfather)

Xenia Deli always manages to get my pressure up. (Hollywood Tuna)

Pete Doherty makes a life size crucifix with himself in place of Jesus because he’s a huge douche. (Dlisted)

Avril Lavigne And Chad Kroeger Finally Released Their Duet (VIDEO)

By Travis October 16, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

It was only a matter of time before Avril Lavigne and her husband and Nickelback lead singer Chad Kroeger fulfilled their threat to release a duet, and yesterday was the big day with the unveiling of their new music video for “Let Me Go.” The easiest way to describe this video without using terms like “the music industry’s death rattle” or “Canada’s invention of aural warfare” is to tell you to imagine what it would sound like if Chad Kroeger wrote a song for Nickelback and Avril Lavigne sang it. I know, that’s pretty vague, but trust me that it’s 100% accurate.

Avril Lavigne Might Be Pregnant With A Nickelbaby

By Travis October 10, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger and his wife Avril Lavigne attended something called the Huading Awards in China on Monday, and I’m guessing the event honors outstanding achievement in making people physically ill any time they hear a specific music artist’s songs. But the big news for rock’s latest couple of the apocalypse is that Avril might be pregnant, because, according to the Daily Mail, the dress she wore to the awards is the type that most newly-pregnant women prefer. This rumor can’t be true, though, because it wasn’t followed by reports of everyone else on the planet trying to push Avril down a flight of stairs.

(Photo Credit: Getty)

Avril Lavigne Marries Chad Kroeger on a Boat in France

By Lex July 09, 2013 @ 5:33 PM

Avril Lavigne And Chad Kroeger Get Married And Get On A Yacht In France
There’s some arcane Canadian law that requires Avril Lavigne to marry only other Canadian singers I can’t fucking stand. I think she gets a tax break or free smokes or something. She went with Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger. I was rooting for K.D. Lang. At least going lesbian would’ve made her interesting. When I think about the merging of these two musical maestros in holy matrimony, mostly I want to press my ears shut and mutter nonsensical words aloud to block out the horrid. Maybe their yacht will sink.

Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin

Avril Lavigne And Chad Kroeger Are Twinsies

By Travis May 20, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

The 2013 Billboard Music Awards took place last night in Las Vegas, as Taylor Swift won a whopping eight awards to lead the stars in attendance. Justin Bieber performed twice and won three awards, and even Madonna stopped trying to conquer Castle Grayskull for one night so she could accept three awards as well, because kids these days just can’t get enough of the techno granny’s wicked house beats.

Canada’s first couple was also in attendance, as Avril Lavigne and Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger showed up in matching black leather outfits to remind people that they’re the faces of modern rock music. And in that moment, an entire continent wondered, “Why can’t we get Ted Nugent and his assault rifles to focus on the real enemy?”

(Photo Credit: Getty)

Avril Lavigne And Chad Kroeger Are Perfect

By Travis May 16, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

I thought for sure that someone behind a Canadian version of “Punk’d” was eventually going to come forward and take credit for Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger being engaged, but almost one year after the world learned of this unholy union, Avril is more excited than ever. The totally legit punk rocker told Access Hollywood Live yesterday that the Nickelback frontman was so perfect for her, because… you guys won’t even believe this.

“My mother always taught me that. There was a rule in our house, no calling guys, I wasn’t allowed to call guys, they had to call me. Men like a chase. I don’t run after guys so he did it.

“Believe it or not, I actually said before we started dating, ‘I want to date someone who is 10 years older than me’, and he’s exactly 10 years older than me and it’s nice.” (Daily Mail)

That’s amazing. Truly, the greatest love story of this generation. And while we all await her new album, “Here’s to Never Growing Up”, which was co-written by Chad, maybe they’ll run off and get married somewhere ideal for their incredible love. Might I suggest Syria or the inside of a volcano?

(Photo Credit: Getty)