Coldplay’s Country Song for Houston, Not as Good As Money (VIDEO)

August 30, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

While numerous celebrities in the past few days have been online "tagged" into a forced donation to Houston flooding relief charities, Coldplay did Jennifer Lopez, and The Rock, and Jay Z and Kevin Hart cash one better. They wrote... READ MORE

Coldplay Proposals On the Rise (VIDEO)

December 13, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

People accept road warning signs like they came etched in tablets down from Sinai. Yet they treat overtly obvious signs that they're about to enter into marriage with the wrong person as a certain misread on their part. No... READ MORE

Coldplay Nabs Super Bowl Halftime

December 7, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Gay Beethoven and the couple or three other guys he pretends are part of Coldplay will be headlining the Super Bowl halftime show in February 2016. While football demo skews heavily male, the halftime show reaches fifty million women cleaning up nacho... READ MORE

Gwyneth Is Back on the Market And Shit Around The Web

April 20, 2015 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Gwyneth Paltrow is officially divorced from her ex-husband Chris Martin. You can new age label this shit all you want, when a couple hens with tons of dough call it quits, there’s a ton of legal work to get... READ MORE

Time to Save Africa Again With a Crappy Song (VIDEO)

November 17, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Every five to ten years, Bono and Gay Beethoven and Bob Geldof and whoever’s hot in the British pop music scene spend another few hours re-recording the exact same fucking song to cure the latest African hardship. It started... READ MORE

Chris Martin Uncouples from Jennifer Lawrence And Shit Around The Web

October 27, 2014 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

It’s time to spin the roulette wheel of Chris Martin beards. I’m not suggesting that Chris Martin is gay, merely that a decade of having to beg Gwyneth Paltrow for a handshake and a compliment made him realize he... READ MORE

Jennifer Lawrence’s Boyfriend Is Gay Adjacent

October 9, 2014 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Jennifer Lawrence offered up some heinous details of her relationship with Chris Martin in Vanity Fair, like how she mostly gets off on reality TV and farting these days: “Isn’t boring so much better than passion?… I would just rather... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow Tightens Leash

September 24, 2014 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Gwyneth Paltrow still has her husband pussy whipped even though he’s getting hotter younger celebrity photo hacked pussy. Anonymous sources, who would have to be Paltrow’s upstairs gimp given the intimate knowledge, claims Paltrow drew up a schedule for Chris... READ MORE

Holy Shit, Chris Martin Fed His Kids Fast Food

May 23, 2014 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Knowing Gwyneth Paltrow‘s reputation as a holier than thou and better than everyone ego freak, who wouldn’t dare eat anything that wasn’t prepared by the purified hands of a virgin chef, the idea of Chris Martin letting their kids... READ MORE

Chris Martin Blames Himself, I Think

April 30, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Chris Martin has decided to fall on the Unconscious Coupling sword and take the blame for the split between himself and his yoga succubus life partner. Chris did an interview with BBC One to promote his latest compendium of... READ MORE