conan was nominated for an emmy. jay leno however…

By brendon July 08, 2010 @ 1:39 PM

As everyone knows, NBC fired Conan O’Brien as host of the Tonight Show after just a few months and then gave the job back to Jay Leno. Essentially NBC pissed away 200 million dollars while making Leno look like an asshole, and then re-hired him.

His ratings have dropped every week since his return, and 3 weeks ago his ratings actually fell below Conans at a comparable point (more). The audience has now dropped from 5 million viewers last year to 4 million this year, the lowest ratings since 1992 (variety). For a more visual example, just picture Eric Claptons kid. That’s what Leno’s ratings look like.

But at least that’s all in the past and NBC doesn’t have to relive their mistake anymore. Wouldn’t you agree, Popeater?

‘The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien’ earned its first and only Emmy nomination this morning.
Conan will compete against ‘The Colbert Report,’ ‘The Daily Show,’ ‘Real Time With Bill Maher’ and ‘Saturday Night Live’ in the Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series category.
‘The Tonight Show With Jay Leno’ was not nominated, although NBC submitted Leno’s work, while O’Brien’s own people submitted his.

Granted this is no badge of honor for Conan either. Being nominated alongside SNL is nothing short of embarrassing. You could have more fun getting your dick caught in a zipper for 90 minutes.

Tags: conan o brien, jay leno |

90 Comments

leno has lower ratings than conan did

By brendon June 22, 2010 @ 12:18 PM

When NBC fired Conan O’Brien, they said his numbers sucked and Letterman was beating him and they were losing money. So they replaced him with Jay Leno. The bad news is that Leno gets even lower numbers than Conan did. The badder news is that Lenos comeback numbers have dropped and now he doesn’t beat Letterman either. So if NBC’s plan was to piss away 200 million dollars on a complete clusterfuck, mission accomplished!

For the first week since Jay Leno’s Tonight Show return, he was tied by David Letterman’s Late Show, as both shows averaged a 0.9 adults 18-49 rating for the week of June 7-11. Coming off a week of repeats for both shows, Leno fell a tenth of a point and Letterman gained two tenths.

Conans biggest problem may have been that he started too great. His debut had 2.3 million viewers. Lenos comeback debut had 1.5. So when both settled in to a normal range (of a million or so), Conans drop was more dramatic. TV by the numbers has two charts, and the first shows Conan vs Leno in the same sequential weeks of their run as host, and it shows that Conan has had better numbers for a month now.

That put Leno’s Tonight Show two tenths of a ratings point below Conan O’Brien’s Tonight Show, comparing the ratings for each show’s fifteenth week.
(Leno) was 0.6 ratings points below the same calendar week of Conan’s Tonight Show ratings last summer.

Sources say NBC executives are taking the news is stride, and by that I mean they’re hopelessly lost and confused. One of them tried to fuck a dog the other day.

Tags: conan o brien, david letterman, jay leno |

62 Comments

NBC really loves lying about Conan

By brendon May 05, 2010 @ 6:17 PM

Eight years ago, NBC posted a profit of 1.8 billion dollars, but since then it’s been run by bumbling retards who would be required to wear water wings and a football helmet at all time in most states, so this year they will lose over 600 million dollars (source).

As you can tell, they’re not very good with numbers. But if you needed more proof of that…

NBC is pissed at Conan O’Brien and claims he lied during his “60 Minutes” interview.
Network sources tell TMZ Conan was flat out wrong when he said NBC gave him the axe rather than Leno because Jay’s buyout would have been bigger. Sources say the buyouts for Conan and Jay were roughly the same.

For the record, Conan received a buyout worth 32.5 million. Lenos buyout was 150 million.

Now, I’m no mathamagician, and I apologize for all the times I implied I was (I just liked the attention), but I do know that 150 is more than 32. Almost 5 times more, some would say. I also know that NBC is out of their minds to guarantee Leno 150 million dollars. If that dullard is worth 150, if they ever found a guy wearing a silly hat who can wiggle his ears, they would turn the entire network over to him, no questions asked.

(note – my beloved diora baird runs a very cutely entertaining twitter page, and not simply because she’ll occasionally flash her amazing cleavage. you may be wondering what that has to do with conan o brien. well I may be wondering why you’re so gay. NOW who’s asking the questions!)

Tags: conan o brien, diora baird |

179 Comments

friday afternoon headlines

By brendon April 30, 2010 @ 6:15 PM

CONAN O’BRIEN - has a big interview on ’60 Minutes’ this weekend, and one surprise is that he doesn’t feel NBC screwed him over. He says things just didn’t work out. Another surprise is when Steve Kroft shows pictures of Conan buying yellow cake uranium. Let’s see that drunk mick weasel his way out of this one. (full quotes)

BATMAN 3 - doesn’t have a name or a script or a cast, but it reportedly has a release date: July 20th, 2012. This seems like bullshit. There’s no way in hell the sequel to the 5th biggest movie of all time would be released at the end of July. Then again, these Hollywood exec’s seem to really know what they’re doing, so who am I to judge. (hollywood reporter)

DAISY DUKE 1 - was Catherine Bach, and today her husband was found dead of an apparent suicide. Or maybe this is one of Boss Hoggs tricks, like that time he rigged the Chili Cook Off. (radar)

DAISY DUKE 2 - was Jessica Simpson, and she was on ‘Ellen’ Wednesday in a top that flaunted the only positive to come from a girl piling on weight. They chatted for a minute and then Ellen brought out some picnic basket thing to give Jessica some gifts, but also so Ellen could hide her erection.

9 photos in gallery >

FACEBOOK … TWITTER … GROW UP JESUS … Read more >

Tags: batman, conan o brien, ellen degeneres, headlines, jessica simpson, Jesus |

161 Comments

david letterman is candid

By brendon April 30, 2010 @ 4:54 PM

David Letterman made a very rare appearance today on a talk show other than his own when he went on ‘Live with Regis and Kelly’ this morning. As you might guess, he was typically self effacing and candid, even mentioning the affairs he had with several women who worked on his show. The Huffington Post says…

“How’s everything at home?” Philbin asked, to which Letterman replied, deadpan, “I don’t know if people know about this, but I’ve had some trouble.”
(Letterman said) his behavior was stupid and reckless, and that it hurt his family and himself. But he sounded hopeful that life with his wife and young son can “even be better, in a different way” than before

This is only sort of relevant but someone in a position to know told me Letterman has been asked to be a guest on Conan O’Briens first TBS show, and Letterman really wants to do it. So the first show would be Tom Hanks and Letterman with no musical guest, and Conan would bring them both out at once, and they would do three or four segments with Conan, Tom and Dave. I really am fascinating aren’t I? And I’ve got hundreds of gems like this. Hard to believe a great guy like me is still single, isn’t it. Part 2 of Dave under the cut.

sandra bullock is breaking her silence. in november.

By brendon April 16, 2010 @ 10:16 AM

Someone close to Conan O’Brien told me the other day that Tom Hanks has already been asked to be the first guest on Conans TBS show, but he’s a damn scrub compared to who will be on George Lopez one hour later. Deadline Hollywood says…

Conan O’Brien and George Lopez are expected to make a splash in their first week together in November on TBS with a lineup of A-list guests. I’ve heard that Sandra Bullock, who is George’s close friend and executive produced his ABC sitcom, may appear on his newly moved 12 AM-1 AM talk show that week.

And the Chicago Sun Times ads…

Bullock is not only a longtime personal friend of Lopez, she also served as an executive producer of the comedian’s old ABC sitcom, where she guested a few times.
”More important than all that, George has been one of Sandy’s most supportive and genuinely caring friends as she has gone through the nightmare of the past couple months,” said another longtime close Bullock buddy.
”He personifies how a real friend acts when someone you love is going through a hellish situation.”

I don’t even think George Lopez is funny but he still seems to be a likable guy. And I’m not just saying that so I don’t look racist. Okay actually I am. Because I’m incredibly racist. The truth is I’m pretty sure I saw George Lopez steal my car radio one time. Him and Denzel Washington.

UPDATE - not one single person emailed to tell me i had ‘snadra’ in the headline for like 3 hours, but im okay with that because the last thing i want is people emailing me every time my spelling or punctuation or grammar set a new low.