Eva Longoria was on David Letterman last night to promote her new cookbook (wait, what), and since she’s not afraid to dress sexy she dressed sexy. And by that I mean she wore some very short shorts and a super tight jacket and that was it.
An outfit like that doesn’t really lend itself to movement, you need to sit motionless, perfectly still as if a T-Rex was looking for you, which Longoria didn’t do, and so Dave got to see her tit (video here). Last night would have been a good night to introduce a new segment where the guests have to run down some rolling barrels.
When NBC fired Conan O’Brien, they said his numbers sucked and Letterman was beating him and they were losing money. So they replaced him with Jay Leno. The bad news is that Leno gets even lower numbers than Conan did. The badder news is that Lenos comeback numbers have dropped and now he doesn’t beat Letterman either. So if NBC’s plan was to piss away 200 million dollars on a complete clusterfuck, mission accomplished!
For the first week since Jay Leno’s Tonight Show return, he was tied by David Letterman’s Late Show, as both shows averaged a 0.9 adults 18-49 rating for the week of June 7-11. Coming off a week of repeats for both shows, Leno fell a tenth of a point and Letterman gained two tenths.
Conans biggest problem may have been that he started too great. His debut had 2.3 million viewers. Lenos comeback debut had 1.5. So when both settled in to a normal range (of a million or so), Conans drop was more dramatic. TV by the numbers has two charts, and the first shows Conan vs Leno in the same sequential weeks of their run as host, and it shows that Conan has had better numbers for a month now.
That put Leno’s Tonight Show two tenths of a ratings point below Conan O’Brien’s Tonight Show, comparing the ratings for each show’s fifteenth week.
(Leno) was 0.6 ratings points below the same calendar week of Conan’s Tonight Show ratings last summer.
Sources say NBC executives are taking the news is stride, and by that I mean they’re hopelessly lost and confused. One of them tried to fuck a dog the other day.
David Letterman made a very rare appearance today on a talk show other than his own when he went on ‘Live with Regis and Kelly’ this morning. As you might guess, he was typically self effacing and candid, even mentioning the affairs he had with several women who worked on his show. The Huffington Post says…
“How’s everything at home?” Philbin asked, to which Letterman replied, deadpan, “I don’t know if people know about this, but I’ve had some trouble.”
(Letterman said) his behavior was stupid and reckless, and that it hurt his family and himself. But he sounded hopeful that life with his wife and young son can “even be better, in a different way” than before
This is only sort of relevant but someone in a position to know told me Letterman has been asked to be a guest on Conan O’Briens first TBS show, and Letterman really wants to do it. So the first show would be Tom Hanks and Letterman with no musical guest, and Conan would bring them both out at once, and they would do three or four segments with Conan, Tom and Dave. I really am fascinating aren’t I? And I’ve got hundreds of gems like this. Hard to believe a great guy like me is still single, isn’t it. Part 2 of Dave under the cut.
Chris Rock was on Letterman last night, and because it’s still such a touchy subject, Rock was kind enough to wait 24 seconds before mentioning Lettermans affairs. The Huff Post says…
David Letterman was suffering from a hoarse voice on his show Wednesday night, and his guest, Chris Rock, didn’t make things any easier on him.
“Dave, what the hell happened to your voice? Things going bad at home?” Rock asked. “You’re still doing the show? You’re a rich man, you could just go home! Wife still mad at you, ain’t she.”
“I was backstage, you fired all the cute girls,” Rock continued. “Got a bunch of fat old guys there! The vibe is horrible, man, horrible!”
Letterman laughed, “I tell you, some of those guys are starting to look pretty good.”
Remember when Kimmel heckled Leno on his own show? And Leno just stood there like a dullard? Do they pump opium through the vents in that place? Say something you dummy. The front doors of the Tonight Show studio are like a mouth, eating the happiness from all who pass through.
The great Jimmy Kimmel was a guest on Letterman last night, and he and Dave of course talked about the thing they have most in common; hatred of Jay Leno. Sadly Leno’s ratings have been better than expected but not as good as they used to be. I guess that shouldn’t be a surprise. He’s perfect for late night, because he doesn’t do anything that would force people to think. It’s mindless nothing, like how people use a metronome to calm down or go to sleep. He’s like that, except not as funny.
NBC fired Conan O’Brien as host of the Tonight Show because he couldn’t beat David Letterman, something Jay Leno had done for years. So NBC made a tough choice, and even though they would lose hundreds of millions of dollars, they decided to bring Leno back so he could be number 1 in late night again! And the plan worked! For 6 days!
For the first time since Jay Leon returned to 11:30, The Tonight Show trailed Late Show in the early metered market numbers (3.5 rating for Letterman versus 3.2 for Leno). In the 25 markets with local People Meters Leno held a slim edge with adults 18-49, but he did yesterday as well and when the numbers for the broader national market were factored in, Late Show wound up leading Tonight Show in the 18-49 demo, too.
This is no surprise of course, because it’s NBC. Their own website (click the “shows” tab) is filled with such sadness and failure, it’s almost like they’re being sarcastic. They have 12 “Classic Shows”, and two of those aired on CBS. Every single show on their “Recent Favorites” was canceled almost instantly, and I never even heard of 4 of them.
There are only two qualifications to be on a list called “Current Shows”. Be “current”, and a “show” a viewer could watch. NBC lists the Olympics twice and the Golden Globes, which are neither. I don’t mean to brag but I think I could do a better job at running NBC than the people they have now. I at least understand where I am in time, which is more than they could say.
