The 2011 Academy Awards were last night, and the big winner was The Kings Speech, the inspiring story of king who sits in his castle and eventually gives a speech on the radio without fucking it up.
The big loser was True Grit, which not only went 0 for 10, but had it’s ending broadcast on the air when Oscar producers needed 5 seconds of footage for an editing award and decided to show the part where the bad guy dies and the surprise person responsible for it.
Another big loser was Kirk Douglas, who terrified the shit out of everyone and then wouldn’t leave. Child birth videos are more comfortable to watch than that was, and probably have better jokes.
Read more >
JAMES FRANCO AND KATE HUDSON - might star in a biopic about 70’s porn star Linda Lovelace, which would hurt the never-real-anyway biopic staring Lindsay Lohan. Though to be honest, I’d rather see Lindsay in it, especially over Kate Hudson. This is about the making of Deep Throat, not You’ve Got Mail. (the sun)
THE FANTASTIC FOUR - is down to 3, because the comic has killed off…… the Human Torch. Wow, really? Why not the stretch guy, Mr. Fantastic? I’d choose a ventriloquist to be on my super team before I’d choose Mr. Fantastic. That guy sucks. (la times)
NATALIE PORTMAN - got an Oscar nomination this morning, then walked her dog on the streets of New York, where the low today was 7 degrees. When asked for a comment, that dog said, “Hey Ms Fancy Feet, you realize this is the same thing I wear in July right, can we please go home now?” (inf daily)
It’s weird that at one point Anne Hathaway was considered a not-as-good version of Lindsay Lohan. Now Lindsay is such a cartoony punchline she should change her name because “Lindsay Lohan” is like “garbage men” or “Blackwater”. It conjures up a negative image that she’ll never escape.
Anyway, Hathaway and James Franco are hosting the Academy Awards this year, which is a little weird since they’ll both almost definitely be nominated for Outstanding Actor and Actress. Show producers Bruce Cohen and Don Mischer told Deadline…
James Franco and Anne Hathaway personify the next generation of Hollywood icons— fresh, exciting and multi-talented. We hope to create an Oscar broadcast that will both showcase their incredible talents and entertain the world on February 27. We are completely thrilled that James and Anne will be joining forces with our brilliant creative team to do just that.”
Yes indeed. Woe be to you if you thought Franco couldn’t wear a tuxedo, stand upright and read a teleprompter. Talk about multi-talented! You could put the teleprompter in front of him, or to the right, even to the left, he don’t care, he’ll read those fuckers all night long baby! Blue font, green font, even the white, there’s no limit to his gifts. I think he might secretly be Superman.
JAMES FRANCO IS LUCID - FilmDrunk has an interview with James Franco, and interview that from here on out will be known as, "The Worlds Greatest Interview". He's so unbelievably stoned, he might be legally dead.
YOU MISSED SOME - Bauer Griffin has pictures of Amy Winehouse walking around in the middle of the night (zombie) with a white powder on her sleeve (better shot here). Oh, heavens, what could it be?
BRITNEY STILL CAN'T DRIVE - Video here of Britney showing she has absolutely no idea what the hell is going on in the world. She drives like someone is shooting at her.
JENIFER LOVE HEWITT ISN'T FAT - Janice Dickinsosn went on Today this morning and told Al Roker that she didn't think Jennifer Love Hewitt was fat, that these were just unflattering angles. How the hell can "straight-on" be considered a bad angle? That's not even an "angle". It's right behind you. What would a good angle be? From the neck up? Pointed at the sun? Pointed at someone else? Janice went on to say that, while JLH is not fat, Tyra Banks is. And Tyra got out of her frosting -stained recliner and attempted to write a nasty letter. Unfortunately there was melted butter all over her hands, so it will have to wait.
Lindsay Lohans unrequited crush on Spiderman star James Franco may have been what pushed her over the edge and sent her into rehab. Franco reportedly shot Lohan down several times Monday night at a Golden Globes after-party, and Lohan ended up leaving in tears at around 3:30 am. At around 6 am, she was found passed out in a hallway at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. She entered the Wonderland center rehab later (pictures below) that day. The Daily News quotes a source:
“Most people were in a good mood — except for her. She seemed lost. She was trying to get James’ attention, and he wouldn’t give her anything. She was smoking a lot, not drinking in front of him, and then she went into a bedroom. From there, she went back to trying to get James’ attention again, and he was ignoring her. She ran out crying, with the girlfriend following her.”
Well at least Lindsay didn't do anything embarrassing. Other than licking her fingers and telling James Franco she had sensitive nipples while he scrolled through his cell phone and said "…uh-huh." Rawr!
