It’s been about 5 months since James Franco and Anne Hathaway hosted what was quickly labeled as the worst Oscar telecast ever, and though he’s mentioned it here and there, he’s never really gone into detail about how everything went so astoundingly wrong.
Suffice to say, the point of this post is not to say that he’s still not going into detail. Actually it’s the opposite of that. In the new issue of Playboy, he goes on and on and on about it. Okay, James Franco, Jesus Christ, we get it.
My first thought when I heard that they were doing another ‘Planet of the Apes’ movie, this time as an origin story with James Franco and Freida Pinto, was that I really really really really really want to fuck Freida Pinto. My second thought was that this movie sounded dumb. But then the teaser trailer looked terrific, and now the full trailer looks even better (embed copy here, HD copies here). I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it was to train the monkeys to glare and throw hammers and do all those stunts and stuff. James Francos medicine isn’t real is it? Is that how they did it? Damn you James Franco, you’ve doomed us all! You’ve made the monkeys bullet-proof super geniuses!
Wait what? Oh, they’re not bullet proof? Oh. Well then I’m not sure I understand what the problem is.
SUPERMAN - will face off against General Zod in the reboot, to be played by the excellent Michael Shannon. So, brace yourself, but Lindsay was lying to make it seem as if she was in demand. Although really I think she should be the one playing Lois Lane. And Zod. And Superman. She’s that good. (thr)
YOUR HIGHNESS - bombed at the box office this weekend, making just $9.5 million and opening at number 6 despite starring Natalie Portman and James Franco. Hop was number one again ($21.6M), with Author second ($12.6M) and Hanna third ($12.3M). Experts said Your Highness was hurt by the fact that it looked fucking terrible. (la times)
MEL GIBSON - was replaced in Hangover 2 by Liam Neeson, who will now be replaced by Nick Cassavetes because the director wants reshoots and Neeson doesn’t have time. Re-casting and shooting new scenes 5 weeks before the movie opens is a good sign. It means the jokes will be fresh. (ew)
ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO - was at the opening of the Marquee Dayclub in Vegas Saturday, and she wore this fantastic dress. It’s basically held together by nothing but optimism. (fame and wenn)
It didn’t work out, but Anne Hathaway at least tried to be good at hosting the Academy Awards on Sunday night, she at least failed with enthusiasm, which is more than can be said for James Franco.
Franco told Vanity Fair that he didn’t care if he turned out to be a bad host, if it was “the worst Oscars show ever,” then proved it by rocking back and forth and mumbling for 4 hours. He even skipped his own after party and instead went directly to the airport and flew to New York (much to the surprise of people like Seth Rogen and Kevin Spacey).
Suffice to say that Anne saw this coming.
A source tells Us Weekly that Anne Hathaway, 28, and James Franco grew to “hate each other” as they rehearsed to host the Oscars.
“She had to provide all the energy — he was just phoning it in,” says a second insider.
“James seemed in his own little world,” during the Oscar telecast, says another source. “Producers were pissed.”
Anne is the one who really should be pissed. She should have taken his dick and slammed it in a book after the first commercial break, or put some cigarettes out on it to wake that stoner up.
The 2011 Academy Awards were last night, and the big winner was The Kings Speech, the inspiring story of king who sits in his castle and eventually gives a speech on the radio without fucking it up.
The big loser was True Grit, which not only went 0 for 10, but had it’s ending broadcast on the air when Oscar producers needed 5 seconds of footage for an editing award and decided to show the part where the bad guy dies and the surprise person responsible for it.
Another big loser was Kirk Douglas, who terrified the shit out of everyone and then wouldn’t leave. Child birth videos are more comfortable to watch than that was, and probably have better jokes.
JAMES FRANCO AND KATE HUDSON - might star in a biopic about 70’s porn star Linda Lovelace, which would hurt the never-real-anyway biopic staring Lindsay Lohan. Though to be honest, I’d rather see Lindsay in it, especially over Kate Hudson. This is about the making of Deep Throat, not You’ve Got Mail. (the sun)
THE FANTASTIC FOUR - is down to 3, because the comic has killed off…… the Human Torch. Wow, really? Why not the stretch guy, Mr. Fantastic? I’d choose a ventriloquist to be on my super team before I’d choose Mr. Fantastic. That guy sucks. (la times)
NATALIE PORTMAN - got an Oscar nomination this morning, then walked her dog on the streets of New York, where the low today was 7 degrees. When asked for a comment, that dog said, “Hey Ms Fancy Feet, you realize this is the same thing I wear in July right, can we please go home now?” (inf daily)
