I’m not homophobic at all, in any way, except in the sense that seeing two guys in a sexual situation might make me throw up. I know that’s probably bad but I can’t help it. I support gay rights in every way, I despise pussies who bully gay kids, but male gay sex really freaks me out. It’s not as awful as ‘Girls’ on HBO, but it’s close.
Point being, if I stumbled upon the fact that I had a natural talent for deep throating things, here’s how I’d handle it:
1. Tell no one; take it to my grave.
Here’s how James Franco handled the same thing:
1. Tell literally the entire world. Or at least the 10 people who even know Details magazine still exists.
In the first of several three-ways, Franco performs some very impressive deep throat on two of his character’s pistols after the girls turn the tables on him and shove them in his mouth.
“Most people can’t get past that gag reflex at the back of the throat,” I say.
“Guess I’m a natural,” he says with a laugh. “It was my first time.”
“So that wasn’t you in Broken Tower (deep-throating a dildo)?”
“Oh shit, you’re right!” Franco’s eyes light up. “It wasn’t my first time.”
“You’re known for going the extra mile, but that was, what, a good eight inches?”
He gives me a get-real look. “That was a dildo.” Then he turns that look back on himself, and I see the real James Franco: “If I’d had the guts, it woulda been real.”
I on the other hand am so insecure that if a doctor tried to save my life by putting an intubator down my throat I’d push his hand away and my last words on earth would be, “knock it off… fag.”
