The last time Lindsay Lohan was on a talk show was back in April, when she told Jay Leno the same stuff she always says; that she wants to be more professional and responsible and that she’s not the dipshit party girl everyone thinks she is.
The next time Lindsay Lohan was supposed to be on a talk show was yesterday, with Ellen DeGenneres, but she went to some parties in Hawaii instead then skipped her flight back without even bothering to call them.
Lindsay Lohan bailed on her scheduled “Ellen DeGeneres Show” taping on Tuesday. Gossip Cop has learned the actress did NOT board her flight from Hawaii to Los Angeles.
“Not a call or an apology from Lindsay,” a show insider tells us.
The show, a contractually obligated promotional appearance for her Playboy cover, was scheduled two months ago.
Yeah so it turns out that TV shows have a set schedule that they stick to. Pretty surprising, huh. This isn’t like an abortion Lindsay, you cant just reschedule it for tomorrow.
Charlie Sheen went on the Tonight Show to talk with Jay Leno, and not just because Leno is the one person with worse jokes than Sheen, but also to admit that CBS was right to fire him when they did because he was acting like an asshole.
Sheen was asked if he was still angry towards CBS and the Two And A Half Men producers over the sacking. “No, no. I would have fired my ass, too.”
As for his media blitz last spring, “I said some things that were a little out there,” Sheen said. “I might have overshot the mark a little bit. But these were just metaphors. I didn’t really believe I had tiger blood or Adonis DNA. These were just jokes.”
Leno followed up with, “Many people thought you were out of control. Were you out of control?” Answered Sheen, “Absolutely.”
Wow, so before he had this boundless manic energy, but now he’s calm and lucid. Seems like everyone who thought he was bi-polar should line up and apologize.
On Monday, Lindsay Lohan taped an appearance on the Tonight Show, and it aired last night, and she talked about her 5 year crime spree and how she’s learned from her mistakes and how all she wants to do is work and it’s all really touching unless you know who Lindsay Lohan is.
If you do then you know she says that stuff all the time. Every time she gets arrested. I’m not gonna fall for the same trick a million times. I’m not Charlie Brown, for Christs sake.
(did she get a ticket yesterday for illegally parking her escalade? of course she did. why wouldn’t she. image source = inf daily)
Yesterday, just two days after taking her 5th mug shot, Lindsay Lohan taped an interview for the Tonight Show that will air Tuesday, and this morning the Today Show had a clip of Jay Leno asking her a question. So let’s play a game.
One of these quotes is from her answer to Jay, one is what she said to a judge in July of 2010, one is from an interview in February of 2010, and one is from an interview in March of 2009. Guess which one is from yesterday and you win 3 months of WWTDD Pro. That’s a $9,000 value.
LENO: “At what point did you realize, ‘Oh my God, I could lose this, this could slip away from me?’ ”
LINDSAY 1 - “I never want to be close to losing everything I worked for and aspired to have my whole life. I’ve made some dreadful mistakes but learned from them.”
LINDSAY 2 - “I’m not taking this as a joke. It’s my life. It’s my career…I take responsibility for my actions.”
LINDSAY 3 - “I just want to live the dream that I’ve worked so hard for since I was 4 years old.
“My past is my past and it’s been a long one, but I’m growing more and learning more day by day.
No one is perfect … You have to make mistakes to learn so that you can grow up and live your life the right way. Things happen, and you have to move on, be strong and believe in yourself.“
LINDSAY 4 - “Being young and being in the position I was in, you don’t really take the time to appreciate what you have … But I’m not a kid anymore, I’m 24, I’ve made a lot of mistakes and I recognize that. I’m in the clear now, and as long as I stay focused, I can achieve what I want to achieve.”
I know it was subtle but my point is she says this shit all the time. It’s kind of sad. Maybe she could have been more than she is but she was born to two white trash retards and this is what you get. This is why we need to take away kids bike helmets and hand them lit fireworks taped to a dodge ball. That stuff used to kill or at least maim all the clumsy, slow witted dumb asses. The rope swing was their natural predator. Now they grow up and have 8 fuckin kids all exactly like Lindsay.
GQ has their annual Men of the Year issue out right now, and I haven’t even looked at it because I’m sure it’s a bunch of idiotic choices that don’t make any sense as usual, but one thing they did get right was calling Jimmy Kimmel the best late night host. And he proves it during his interview.
A few excerpts..
Do you think Jay Leno meant it when he said he thought your impression of him was funny?
No. I don’t think he means anything he says.
Do you think Jay was surprised at the ass kicking you gave him when he interviewed you on his show (video)?
And as we talked, I slowly realized the goal [of having me on] was to minimize the damage I’d done and show the audience: Jimmy and Jay are buddies. I hadn’t talked to Jay forever before that call. I talked to him a lot when he was thinking about coming to ABC, and when he took the job at NBC, I never heard from him again. So I decided I wasn’t going to be the jerk that went along with Jay’s scripted comedy bit. I was going to talk about it one way or another. So I felt we’d reached a compromise; Jay would talk about his things, and I would talk about mine. It worked out, I guess.
Are there any lessons to be learned from this?
The lesson is, it pays to be sneaky. [laughs] I think that’s the main thing I learned. That, and don’t trust Jay Leno.
The amazing thing is, Jimmy Kimmel is the nicest guy in the world, so imagine for one second how big of a two-faced jackass you have to be to piss off someone like that to this degree. Kimmel is an man of the people, an Everyday Joe, not like you and Jay Leno, with your gold velor couches and luxurious circular waterbeds, driving around your gated community without a person of color for 20 miles. Me and Jimmy Kimmel hate you so much!
JENNIFER ANISTON - bombed again this weekend. Her movie ‘The Switch’ opened in 8th place. The chart above is her box office bio. Take out ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ (which was an ensemble), ‘Marley and Me’ (which stared an adorable puppy, based on those popular Contennelle commercials), and ‘Bruce Almighty’ (which stared Jim Carey in his prime), and she’s only had one hit. Ever. I could charge people to watch my Girls With Big Tits screen saver and make more than ‘Management’. (box office mojo)
WYCLEF JEAN - says he is still fighting to get on the ballot for Haitis presidential election. Though no reason was given to explain why his initial application was rejected, under Haitian law a presidential candidate must have lived in the country for five consecutive years leading up to the election. “When the fuck did this shithole get laws,” Wyclef probably said. (popeater)
JAY LENO - is no favorite of mine, but he performed for free at the Beau Rivage Casino in Biloxi Saturday night and raised $90,336 for Gulf Coast residents effected by the BP oil spill. Then on top of that he chipped in some of his own money to make it an even $100,000. It obviously helped to have such a big star perform in Biloxi. Normally the headliner is a guy named Cooter who can wiggle his ears. (ap)
SHAUNA SAND - walked around Miami in a bikini this weekend, and if you wanted to see that for some inexplicable reason, here you go. (inf daily)
