Jennifer Lopez was on her balcony in Miami yesterday, and she must have gotten some bad news during this phone call because she ended up crying. And come to think of it I did call Jennifer Lopez yesterday pretending to be a doctor and told her that the lump we found is cancer. I wonder if it had to do with that.
(image source = bauer griffin)
Jennifer Lopez was in Miami today, wearing a white swimsuit for a photo shoot, and she actually positioned herself and stood so only her ass was behind the wall and hidden from view. Either that or her fat ass is wedged in a doorway and she’s stuck.
Oh please oh please oh please oh please…
(image source = splash)
Until today, it was assumed that Jennifer Lopez was endorsing Fiat simply because she’s a greedy cunt, but new information reveals that her true motives may be much more sinsiter. *Dun-dun-dun…*
In an open letter to Lopez released on Thursday, the president for United Against Nuclear Iran (UANI) wrote: “By endorsing Fiat, you are serving as a spokesperson for a company that freely does business with Iran, a regime that is developing an illegal nuclear weapons program, financing and sponsoring terrorist groups including al-Qaeda, has killed American and NATO soldiers and is recognized as one of the world’s leading human rights violators.”
“(Fiat also) produces vehicles that are reportedly used by the Iranian regime as platforms to stage gruesome public executions.”
UANI does say they don’t believe Lopez actually supports al-Qaeda and Iran, but they need to open their eyes. Jennifer Lopez clearly hates America and wants our soldiers to be murdered. If nothing else we should have a SEAL team grab her and find out what she knows. I’m sure she’ll deny it at first (they’re trained to do that) but maybe a little torture will loosen her tongue. And if I’m wrong, hey, no harm done.
Everyone knows that Jennifer Lopez is a stuck-up cunt, so the new Fiat commercials that show her driving through the Bronx and reconnecting with her roots are right on the verge of insulting. The ones where she says…
“This is my world. This place inspires me to be tougher, to stay sharper, to think faster. They may be just streets to you, but to me, they’re a playground.”
And by that she apparently meant, “a scary playground, with broken equipment. That’s why I sent a body double to film my commercial while I stayed in Beverly Hills, where it’s safe, and fancy.”
The Smoking Gun says…
While Lopez (would) have consumers believe she returned to the gritty streets of her hometown, she actually never set foot in the Bronx during the filming of the Fiat spots.
Instead, the role of “Jenny from the Block” was played by a body double.
While the Lopez lookalike was actually behind the wheel in the Bronx, Lopez herself was in Los Angeles, where she was filmed inside a Fiat 500.
The shots of the actress were artfully merged to make it appear that she was tooling around New York City’s poorest borough.
Well you have to keep in mind that Lopez is a big star and accustomed to the very best. That’s why I picked out some nice rocks to throw at her head and painted them gold.
From the moment that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony announced that they were ending their 7 year marriage, there have been rumors that it was because Anthony was cheating. Most notably with Jada Pinkett, which reportedly ended her marriage to Will Smith. This all seems reasonable because Jennifer Lopez is a mean bitch and everyone hates her, but he tells ABC News the real reason for the divorce was way less interesting.
“I’ll tell you that it wasn’t something sensationalistic happening,” Anthony said.
Although tabloids claimed that he broke up their 7-year-old marriage with affairs, Anthony says, “absolutely not.” The reason for their break-up, he says, was much simpler. Their marriage just no longer “worked.”
“It was a realization on both our parts. So you know it wasn’t shocking. These things happen,” he said. ”It was a decision that we made jointly.”
“This is not a funeral. this is not a burial. This is just two people who came together and just realized — and so I’m saying that it wasn’t sustainable the way it was, and that’s that.”
Interesting choice of words, because there would very definitely have been a funeral and a burial if I were married to that cunt for 7 years. At the very least I’d cheat on her constantly just to stay sane. I’d go to Puerto Rico or wherever it is she’s from and get a new prostitute with a big ass every night and call her Jennifer and choke the hell out of her.
Oh crap, is this being published? I should probably re-write that last part.
As you no doubt heard, the new issue of In Touch came out yesterday and claimed that Will Smith and Jada Pinkett were separating after 13 years of marriage. Will and Jada quickly issued the worlds least convincing denial, but if they had known what the article actually said (via Gossip Cop), they probably wouldn’t have even bothered.
The magazine alleges that Jada “destroyed” Anthony’s marriage to Jennifer Lopez (as well as her own) by sneaking around with Anthony behind her husband’s back.
Will supposedly uncovered her “ultimate betrayal” when he caught Jada with Anthony (her “HawthoRNe” co-star) in the Smiths’ Hidden Hills mansion.
Smith’s “suspicions” were “painfully confirmed” when he came to the house unannounced “under the cover of darkness” … Smith “left the house crying” and was “very upset” because Anthony was supposedly inside with Jada.
The following day “it was as if all hell had broken loose” with Jada moving some of her belongings out of the couple’s home and Will allegedly firing staffers he suspected of “covering up” for her.
Oohh, yeah, yeah, and after that JLo and Jada wrestled and fell into the pool at the country club, while Willow fell deeper under the spell of the schools new bad boy Jericho Hawk, and other insane shit that only happens on General Hospital.
