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Captain Planet Is Coming Back Because You Know Why

October 21, 2016 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In the early 1990's Ted Turner got behind a tirelessly didactic animated superhero series intend to encourage kids to become environmentalists. Also, not smoke or steal people's wallets. You know, like kids who don't sort their recycling are apt... READ MORE

DiCaprio Attacked by Environmentalists, How the Worm Turns

October 18, 2016 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

A Swiss rainforest charity has turned on Leonardo DiCaprio whose Wolf of Wall Street movie was funded in good part from money siphoned from a corrupt Malaysian financial fund currently under DoJ investigation. READ MORE

Leonardo Dicaprio And Nina Agdal Approaching Sex on the Beach

July 18, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Leonardo DiCaprio plows through more tier one model trim than any of his industry peers. Completely unashamed. Core training is for suckers. Fucking models half your age while maintaining a beer belly is all seven of the world's highest... READ MORE

DiCaprio Commits Cardinal Sin

May 23, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Leonardo DiCaprio took a private jet from Cannes to New York to accept an environmental award and then took one back to Cannes, equaling the carbon footprint of the continent of Africa and NASCAR combined. DiCaprio's people explained he... READ MORE

Leonardo DiCaprio Saves the Planet, Fucks a Few Chicks, Takes a Nap

April 25, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Nobody’s garnered as much pussy from environmental concerns as Leonardo DiCaprio. He’s a tail machine. Whatever he’s doing at any given moment, the gears are turning about how it will translate into attractive 22-year old girl pussy. Watch for... READ MORE

Leonardo DiCaprio Losing Territory

April 4, 2016 | celebrity | josh-j| 0 Comments

Dick Cheney carried around a Final Solution for gays until his daughter came out. Elliot Spitzer was a stickler for the law until he wanted to bang high-end prostitutes. Or at least until he got caught. Leonardo DiCaprio is speaking out... READ MORE

Leonardo DiCaprio Goes Doomsday

January 21, 2016 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Leonardo DiCaprio made a rousing environmental speech at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland mashed up from Malthusian forecasts featured in an Inconvenient Truth. He delivered them as only a white Oscar nominated actor can. Grown men wept in their... READ MORE

DiCaprio Books Bieber

January 4, 2016 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

DiCaprio was cool when he was pudgy and had a ponytail and didn’t shave and sharted in front of the world’s hottest women and they still fucked him because DiCaprio. Now he’s like an insane Middle Eastern dictator who... READ MORE

Leo DiCaprio’s Got This

December 7, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

When Leonardo DiCaprio private jets into Paris to knock heads with the head of the UN on halving carbon emissions, you feel covered. The brain power behind either one of these Learning Annex climatologists would send greenhouse gases running scared,... READ MORE

Leonardo DiCaprio Raped by Bear

December 1, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

According to early screener reports, Leo DiCaprio is soundly raped by a bear in the new movie Revenant. Either it’s a grizzly or a burly guy named Stephen who needs release after the day shift and Dave and Busters.... READ MORE

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