In a much more entertaining and worthwhile video from Monday’s Met Gala, Cara Delevingne ended up in an elevator with Reese Witherspoon, Zooey Deschanel and Kate Upton, and it seems that at least Reese decided to get a little loose with the booze. Cara coaxed the already infamous drunk into playing the name game with her, because the way Reese says her last name with that twangy southern voice is a real hoot to a British gal like her. But Reese could barely pronounce any word, let alone “Delevingne” or “Do you know who I am?”, because she was apparently too busy making sure she really got her money’s worth of liquid stupidity for the evening.
Nobody except for the wealthy celebrity assholes who pay $25,000 to attend really knows what happens at the annual Met Gala, hosted by Anna Wintour, but a designer named Cynthia Rowley wanted to put an end to that. She cut a hole in her purse before the event and inserted a GoPro camera so people who honestly give a shit about this stuff could have a really terrible view of everything happening inside. People are acting like this is some amazing and daring feat, and that Cynthia may never be invited back, because she exposed some grainy and dizzying footage of adults dressed like they were attending prom, but I don’t see what the big deal is. If anybody should be upset about anything, it should be me, because watching this made me throw up on my $25 Gap jeans.
Not everyone who went to the Met Gala last night was a talentless, overrated amateur porn star or an actress who hasn’t starred in anything good in at least a decade. At least Chrissy Teigen was there with her husband, Whoever, and she was wearing what we are lazily calling the best dress of the evening, because her side boob was hanging out and she knew just how to stand for all of the cameras. We may never know what happens when the doors closed for this overpriced shit show of excess and celebration of assholes, but it’s safe to say that Chrissy did it best. In fact, she should win the right to wear that dress that Madonna wanted to shove her old breasts into at next year’s Met Gala.
Photo Credits: Getty and Instagram
Lena Dunham was warned by her fairy godmother to get home from the ball before midnight, but she just wouldn’t listen. Now just look at that sad pumpkin. In fairness to Lena, it’s super hard to find designer shoes in size Hobbit-wide. I only wish Judd Apatow had been around to disperse the young street children who danced around Lena’s cankles like they were Maypoles.
Photo Credit: Splash
While all of the most famous fashion icons in the world like Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Kardashian took themselves and clothing way too seriously last night, one guy arrived in a pink thong to remind the rest of us how stupid the Met Gala really is. Again, people paid $25,000 to attend this event while there are people out there who can’t feed their kids because they don’t make that in a year, but sure, let’s go ahead and pretend that some expensive gowns and tuxedos that will be worn one time are the most important things in the world. It’s a shame we couldn’t pay this streaker $25,000 to slap his nuts on Anna Wintour’s wrinkled, old face, because that could have been the most worthwhile part of this bullshit event since it was created.