Tiger Woods Made An Ass Of Himself

By Travis May 09, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

For all of the stories and photos that came out of Monday night’s Met Gala in New York City, I’m not even sure what the hell actually happened at that event, other than desperate women played dress-up, Kanye West rapped to his couch and Sarah Jessica Parker terrified children. And now we can add to that list that Tiger Woods apparently got really fucking hammered.

According to the Daily Mail, Tiger had a hard time keeping his hands off of his girlfriend Lindsey Vonn before he hit the dance floor with Tyson Beckford at the rooftop post-party. Tiger and Lindsey eventually left after Tiger reportedly fell while walking up some stairs. I’m not sure how the argument went during the drive home, but I imagine Lindsey said something like, “You really embarrassed me in there” to which Tiger whipped out their latest bank statements and she added, “I love you, Tiger.”

(Photo Credit: Getty)

Thank God For Kate Upton

By Travis May 07, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

The problem with using punk rock as a theme for an event that is attended by actresses is that most of them have no clue what punk means, so they just throw a bunch of shit into a box and pick articles of clothing at random while people tell them how awesome they look. That’s how you get Sarah Jessica Parker showing up the Met Gala as a Tim Burton villain and Nicole Richie auditioning to be young Storm in the next X-Men film.

Fortunately, some of the women who attend the annual ball play it safe and just wear a nice dress, which is what Kate Upton did last night. Although, if there’s one woman we’d actually prefer to see wearing clothes that looked like they were shredded by the wolfman, it’d be Kate. Hell, the least she could do is show a nip every now and then. It’d be a billion times better than staring at Parker’s crotch.

(Photo Credits: Getty)

Kim Kardashian Is So Punk Rock

By Travis May 07, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Vogue editor Anna Wintour had famously banned Kim Kardashian from her annual Met Gala in previous years, but one of the perks of dating the world’s biggest rap star is that people tend to change their minds. So after Kim, Anna and Kanye West got together for lunch recently, it was pretty clear that Anna had lifted the ban for this year’s punk-themed event, which took place last night in New York City.

And while the rest of the stars that didn’t need special consideration showed up in outfits that adhered to the “PUNK: Chaos to Couture” theme (that naturally pissed off some in the punk world), Kim decided to dress as a set piece from the Golden Girls. In defense of the dress, it was designed by Kanye’s best friend, Riccardo Tisci of Givenchy, but Kim had it altered to feature sleeves because her stylist thought it made her arms look fat, according to The Daily Mail.

“Yes, her arms,” replied everyone with vision.

(Photo Credits: Getty)