Scott Disick Was Poisoned! But Not Well Enough

By Matt July 18, 2014 @ 6:32 AM

Scott Disick

Scott Disick was admitted to a hospital last month for being a pussy who can’t hold his liquor. Disick was out getting hammered when he told his paid extra friends he thought he was roofied. Its unclear if the hospital was Disick’s idea or some producer who thought the spectacle would be slightly more interesting than watching him cry and cut his legs with a spork. He was tested for drugs but it turns out someone just put more booze in his booze. Getting alcohol poisoning when your job is basically drinking either means you have serious brain damage or you found Leaving Las Vegas inspirational. Apparently Scott hasn’t had a drink since his hospital visit. Hopefully show producers return to the idea that his suicidal boozing is a story line with great traction and order him to start downing bottles of Old Grand-Dad until his kidneys fail. At some point, ratings are going to dip and somebody on that show’s going to need to die tragically. It’s not going to be someone with tits.

Photo Credit: Instagram 

Kourtney Kardashian Showed Us How Douche Babies Are Made

By Travis April 07, 2014 @ 10:00 AM

Ever the romantic of her family, and also the sister that didn’t become famous by getting drilled by Ray J on camera or drive her husband to ruin his NBA career because he just loved crack too much, Kourtney Kardashian recently shared a photo of her and Scott Disick in their younger days. The quietest of the Kardashian sisters described this classy and romantic image of her and Scott with the message “crazy in love,” which is just so inspiring and adorable to see from two people so strangely famous for not doing anything noteworthy in their lives. Meanwhile, Scott probably described that photo as the time he “got his dick ruined while rocking a pretty epic pair of cargo shorts,” because he’s Lord Disick now, and not at all a clueless, narcissistic douchebag anymore.

Photo Credit: Kourtney Kardashian’s Instagram

People Who Shouldn’t Be Famous Don’t Look Happy About Being Famous

By Travis February 25, 2014 @ 11:00 AM

Scott Disick is famous because he’s the boyfriend of one of the sisters of a girl who fucked a nobody on camera, and because he knocked her up a couple times, he has secured some good face time on their bullshit reality show. If he wasn’t with Kourtney Kardashian, he’d just be another guy who dresses like a rich dick because he actually thinks that he’s the real life Patrick Bateman. When people like these two act like they don’t want cameras in their faces, as if they actually detest the constant attention and fame, it’s a total crock of shit, because if these photographers weren’t at the airport to harass Scott and Kourtney, they’d have Kris Jenner on the phone, raising hell to everyone who would listen. Why is the most ambitious photographer attacking Sam Worthington’s girlfriend when these two could use a good foot to the shin and more?

Photo Credits: WENN.com

Scott Disick Covers Khloe Kardashian in Singles

By Lex November 22, 2013 @ 4:06 PM

Scott Disick Posts A Photo Of Himself Next To Khloe Kardashian Covered In Singles To Instagram
Looks like Khloe won her bet with Scott Disick that she could lose the weight of a Mack Truck cab in six months. Surprisingly, it doesn’t even show. She was mostly carrying it in her shoulders. Buried there in singles, for one shining moment, Khloe got to know what it feels like to really be wanted by Lamar Odom. You might be asking yourself how Scott Disick can afford to throw around large quantities of cash given that he’s apparently never held a job in his life. According to the mostly reliable Celebrity Net Worth, Disick’s worth $12 million for banging a couple babies into Kourtney Kardashian and drinking champagne. Now, you can start thinking about killing yourself because this world is not getting any fairer.

Photo Credit: Scott Disick/Instagram

Scott Disick Drunk and Disorderly at Fashion Show

By Lex October 17, 2013 @ 12:29 PM

Scott Disick Gets Drunk And Disruptive At A Fashion Show During Style Fashion Week At LA Live
We’re starting to piece together the evening that Kendall and Kylie Jenner got wasted at a bar. Naturally, it began with their chaperone and unemployed former snowboarder Scott Disick getting loaded at a fashion show and making an ass out of himself. At one point, one model even broke pose to flip him off. He later tried to pull the fashion designer off the runway, which would have at least been a funny drunken antic. But, like most things in Scott Disick’s life, he whiffed. It was after this event that Scott decided to roll out in his Bentley with his teen half-sisters or whatever they are out for some Grey Goose and dancing at a place where the Kardashians move to the front of the line. I imagine the E! reality folks were shocked to see Scott helping the underage family members get loaded, or more likely, they were buying the drinks. Teens with alcohol problems make for great reality TV. Kris Jenner would’ve stopped the whole thing but she was busy trying to roofie her daughter’s cocktails and whispering into the ears of famous guys in the club how badly her girls wanted to be with them, on camera if possible.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, WENN

Scott Disick Wipes His Ass With Ben Franklin’s Face

By Jack September 17, 2013 @ 1:47 PM

Scott Disick decided to tell all of us common people to go fuck ourselves by posting pictures of $100 toilet paper on Instagram. That’s not toilet paper that costs $100, it’s a roll of hundreds he’s going to use as toilet paper. He also held a stack of hundreds to his ear and wrote: “Hello peasants”. There were also pics of his expensive watches and bags of cash. Maybe it’s a joke or maybe it’s just the boredom of not having a job since ‘snowboard instructor’ many years ago, still, fuuuuuccccck this guy. I hope he does wipe his ass with that money. Currency has repeatedly been shown to be one of the most germ encrusted things you will ever touch. A massive ass infection ought to help him feel closer to the Kardashian women.

(Photos Via @scotdisick Instagram)