By Lex November 22, 2013 @ 4:06 PM
Looks like Khloe won her bet with Scott Disick that she could lose the weight of a Mack Truck cab in six months. Surprisingly, it doesn’t even show. She was mostly carrying it in her shoulders. Buried there in singles, for one shining moment, Khloe got to know what it feels like to really be wanted by Lamar Odom. You might be asking yourself how Scott Disick can afford to throw around large quantities of cash given that he’s apparently never held a job in his life. According to the mostly reliable Celebrity Net Worth, Disick’s worth $12 million for banging a couple babies into Kourtney Kardashian and drinking champagne. Now, you can start thinking about killing yourself because this world is not getting any fairer.
Photo Credit: Scott Disick/Instagram
By Lex October 17, 2013 @ 12:29 PM
We’re starting to piece together the evening that Kendall and Kylie Jenner got wasted at a bar. Naturally, it began with their chaperone and unemployed former snowboarder Scott Disick getting loaded at a fashion show and making an ass out of himself. At one point, one model even broke pose to flip him off. He later tried to pull the fashion designer off the runway, which would have at least been a funny drunken antic. But, like most things in Scott Disick’s life, he whiffed. It was after this event that Scott decided to roll out in his Bentley with his teen half-sisters or whatever they are out for some Grey Goose and dancing at a place where the Kardashians move to the front of the line. I imagine the E! reality folks were shocked to see Scott helping the underage family members get loaded, or more likely, they were buying the drinks. Teens with alcohol problems make for great reality TV. Kris Jenner would’ve stopped the whole thing but she was busy trying to roofie her daughter’s cocktails and whispering into the ears of famous guys in the club how badly her girls wanted to be with them, on camera if possible.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, WENN
By Jack September 17, 2013 @ 1:47 PM
Scott Disick decided to tell all of us common people to go fuck ourselves by posting pictures of $100 toilet paper on Instagram. That’s not toilet paper that costs $100, it’s a roll of hundreds he’s going to use as toilet paper. He also held a stack of hundreds to his ear and wrote: “Hello peasants”. There were also pics of his expensive watches and bags of cash. Maybe it’s a joke or maybe it’s just the boredom of not having a job since ‘snowboard instructor’ many years ago, still, fuuuuuccccck this guy. I hope he does wipe his ass with that money. Currency has repeatedly been shown to be one of the most germ encrusted things you will ever touch. A massive ass infection ought to help him feel closer to the Kardashian women.
(Photos Via @scotdisick Instagram)
By Lex August 16, 2013 @ 8:33 AM
Kourtney Kardashian shared DNA test results with her cash money pimps at the E! channel proving that her unemployed lounge-about boyfriend is actually the father of both her bastard children. The results disprove the paternity claims of the greasy male model who claimed to have nailed Kourtney when they worked together a few years back. Last week, Kourtney’s reps were calling the male model’s requests for a paternity test to be ridiculous and craven. This week, Kourtney had the kid and Scott Disick both swabbed.
“After three-and-a-half years of rumors and lies being spread by an individual I met briefly at a photo shoot, I am setting the record straight that Scott is Mason’s father. While it saddens me to have to address these ridiculous lies—especially when the truth was never in doubt—this story must be put to rest.” — Giver of Life, Kourtney Kardashian.
I’m no Columbo, but I’m guessing by ‘met briefly at a photo shoot’, Kourtney means they didn’t have time to get a condom. If the truth was never in doubt, I doubt she would have been running around her house with a Q-tip and a FedEx box trying to get shit off to LabCorp before the Friday 5pm cutoff.
By Travis June 18, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
Over the weekend, some grainy, incomprehensible footage of Scott Disick playing Patrick Bateman in American Psycho for one of Kanye West’s promotional videos for “Yeezus” hit the web, but nobody could really appreciate the cheesy porn parody value of it until a cleaner version became available. Fortunately, West uploaded the video to his website, and now you can watch two guys who became famous for their associations with the Kardashians play make believe.
The other guy in the video is Kim Kardashian’s best friend, Jonathan Cheban, in case you wanted to know that before you close your eyes and imagine that this is real and somewhere Disick is being locked away in the worst prison in the world. Let your imaginations run wild, America.