By Travis November 20, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
In case you were wondering what hapless reality TV dipshits Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were up to, and I know that you really were, they just got home from a swank vacation in Cabo, where they undoubtedly got away from the troubles of nobody giving a flying rat’s ass about them. Heidi, of course, has had quite a bit of plastic surgery performed on her entire body over the years, so it’s pretty strange to see her dressed down and looking plain, but at least now we know the answer to the question, “What would James Spader look like with long blonde hair?”
Photo Credits: WENN.com
By Jack October 16, 2013 @ 3:30 PM
Useless potato people Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are trying to conceive a baby. Wait, before you slit your wrists to opt out of the coming of the devil spawn they would produce, it’s not a real baby. It’s an aura baby. What in the name of holy fuck is an aura baby? Let’s let Heidi explain it via Twitter:
“An Aura Baby is a product of the soul born out of the bio-chemistry of the universe! #speidishow,”
Huh? What the fuck does that even mean? I know what the individual words mean but not what they mean put together. I’m down for any and all types of holistic crystal praying new age shit. Just so long as they don’t actually reproduce a carbon based life form in Heidi’s plasticine lady parts, we should all be safe from the brimstone.