The ABC News affiliate in San Diego says sources have given them an account of what happened the night before the physical confrontation between Tila Tequila and Shawne Merriman. And to be honest it’s kind of hot, at least until the part where she gets choked and thrown to the ground.
…witnesses at Merriman’s home said (he) went to his bedroom with two women.
Tequila walked into the room and Merriman asked her to join them. However, the sources said Tequila reacted angrily and threatened to have sex with a member of Merriman’s entourage.
According to sources, Tequila was intoxicated, and she got naked and attempted to leave the house.
Sources told Vara that Merriman, 25, tried to stop the 27-year-old Tequila, and that is when she called 911.
Tequila accused Merriman of choking and throwing her to the ground while she was trying to leave the house. Tequila signed a citizen’s arrest warrant accusing Merriman of battery and false imprisonment. Both are felonies.
Stuff like this is why I rarely have sex with three girls at once anymore. The problem is crazy girls can sometimes make up stories, but only crazy girls will do you with two of her friends. You can do it if you want, but you’re playing with dynamite my friend.
Tila Tequila was in Beverly Hills yesterday, and for the first time we got to see some of the damage done by Shawn Merriman last weekend. You can almost see the outlines of his hands in the bruises on her arms, but considering he’s an all-pro linebacker and she could be carried around on your back like Yoda, this could have been much much worse. At best she weighs 100 pounds. He weighs 260, 230 of which are steroids.
As an influential Hollywood reporter, I was of course on scene yesterday when these pictures were taken and I got an exclusive interview. When asked what happened, Tila said:
No quote for you GI. You round-eye. Rook rike soldier boy, come at night, burn my willage.
I was surprised at her candor and … aww man. I can’t lie to you guys. I actually made up that quote. I did not get an exclusive interview. I was just pretending to be a big shot so people would think I was cool.
(hq jump here. source = splash news online)
The Thursday afternoon headlines are hosted by Italian actress Maria Grazia Cucinotta. As the Venice Film Festival draws to a close, it may be another year before we see her huge MILF rack again. Sometimes girls email me and ask if they should get implants and if I’m serious when I talk about how awesome huge boobs are. The answer to that is “yes”. Except “yes” is in all caps and there’s an exclamation point at the end and the exclamation point is actually a lightning bolt.
WHITNEY HOUSTON – told Oprah that she was so strung out on drugs in the late 90’s that she once spent 7 months in her pajamas. She makes doing drugs sound relaxing. I think I’ll try some. (the sun)
TILA TEQUILLA – over the weekend, Tila alleged that her boyfriend, San Diego Chargers star Shawne Merriman, beat her, choked her and held her against her will. Merriman says he was merely keeping her from driving drunk. Today the San Diego Sheriff’s Department presented its evidence to the DA who will decide what charges, if any, are to be filed. Some people would have just taken the car keys, but Shawne Merriman didn’t become an All-Pro linebacker by fussin around like a woman. (e! news)
JODIE FOSTER - has been dumped by her girlfriend, producer Cindy Mort, just two months after Foster dumped Cydney Bernard. Bernard and Foster had dated for the past 14 years. They say Foster is “miserable”. On top of all that, keep in mind that gay people can’t get into Heaven. Poor Jodie. She’s always seemed nice. (the enquirer)
(hq jump here. source = splash news online and getty)
I don’t like those goddamn Vietnamese because they tried with great vigor to kill my dad for several years, but I do like Asian chicks with big tits. Needless to say my penis is in quite the quandary right now. When last seen he was down by the ocean, sitting on a rock and watching the sunset, trying to make sense of all this.
(image source = splash news)
Tila Tequila looks like Gizmo from Gremlins, which is actually more insulting for Gizmo than it is Tila, but at least she’s dedicated to being a slut. She dresses slutty all the time. Good for her. Too bad she doesn’t have a bigger rack. I think another good idea would be to put girls like this in a centrifuge upside down for a few hours a day during puberty. That might make their chest bigger. Is that extreme? You bet it is. Extremely sexy.
Tia Tequila hosted the opening of Tacos & Tequila inside Luxor in Las Vegas, and she did her pretend gay act on the red carpet. I don't know how anyone even kept their clothes on, what with all the sexual tension. Look at the passion. The only way this could show any more awkward fumbling on a girls tits is if you superimposed pictures of me at the 8th grade Sadie Hawkins dance.
(picture source = pacific coast)
