Tito Ortiz And Gene Simmons Really Classed Up The 300 Premiere

By Travis March 05, 2014 @ 12:00 PM

They say you can tell a lot about a movie based on the type of people who show up to the premiere, and if that is indeed the case, then 300: Rise of an Empire is the Celebrity Rehab of movies in 2014. Among the many other people that you’ve probably never heard of, Tito Ortiz and his wife Kristin graced the red carpet, as did Gene Simmons and his son Nick. If only someone there had possessed the vision to tell Tito that Nick and Gene grabbed his wife’s ass, we could have actually received a little entertainment from this movie that was basically only made so a million former frat boys could bust out their Halloween costumes from 2006 one more time. Fortunately, Lena Headey and Eva Green were also there, so it wasn’t a complete dumpster fire.

Photo Credits: FayesVision/ Brian To/WENN.com

dana white stands up for tito ortiz

By brendon May 25, 2010 @ 4:37 PM

UFC president Dana White was on Opie and Anthony yesterday, and of course one topic that came up was the domestic abuse charges between Tito “the Huntington Beach Bad Boy” Ortiz and Jenna “the Crazy Drug Addict” Jameson.

If you don’t know, White and Ortiz don’t really like each other. At all. For example one time White apologized because advertising for an upcoming fight had Titos “big ugly gorilla face” on it.

Dana doesn’t really give a fuck, I guess is my point, and he certainly doesn’t give a fuck about Tito Ortiz. And yet not even he believes the claims Jameson made.

So that takes care of that. Maybe now Dana can figure out what to do with Anderson Silva. Make him fight Shogun. I’ve spent at least 200 dollars to watch Anderson in what appears to be Bruce Lee movies, where his opponents flail away and punch the air while Anderson casually ducks to the side. If you just watched the first round of an Anderson Silva fight, you’d think he’d killed a guy once and vowed to never throw another punch no matter what. It’s either that, or the 100 percent opposite, where Anderson just taunts the other guy like in a Bugs Bunny cartoon. He’s gone insane. Don’t be surprised if Anderson comes out one night in a big southern dress and holding a parasol, then hits his opponent in the face with a pie.

everything is all better now

By brendon May 10, 2010 @ 10:11 AM

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Earlier this year, Jenna Jameson stood in front of reporters and accused Tito Ortiz of beating her up, even claiming he threw her into a bathtub and tore ligaments in her shoulder, but that was almost 2 weeks ago, and there’s no point in living in the past, so yesterday she and Tito held hands at the beach.

I always assumed she was lying, but if not this might explain why his UFC comeback got derailed. Because he tried to beat up a frail white girl with a sneak attack, and not only did he not finish her, she ended up giving him smooches on a romantic weekend in SoCal. That can’t really help his confidence.

(source = inf daily, pacific coast news)

I hope the ambulance crashes

By brendon May 04, 2010 @ 12:22 PM

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Lying drama-queen Jenna Jameson was taken away in an ambulance last night, strapped down in a stretcher by an army of paramedics and then rushed to safety, because someone else had a tummy ache. Jenna was fine. There was nothing wrong with her. There was nothing wrong with anyone actually. But she was strapped into a stretcher as the paparazzi took pictures of it because an unrelated second party needed a sip of water. PopEater says…

Jameson was alone with one-year-old Journey when he became ill shortly after 11PM. She believed calling 911 for an ambulance was the appropriate action given the circumstances. Journey is one of Jameson’s two boys fathered by Tito Ortiz.
Journey was released a few hours after being hydrated by hospital staff. Doctors believe the boy is most likely suffering from the stomach flu.

I’d like to point out that she’s supporting her child with her right arm, the one Tito allegedly hurt. Anyway…

I got into an argument with a girl this weekend who said Jameson was telling the truth and Tito must have hit her because a woman would never lie about something this serious.

I could hardly believe my ears. Women love lying about things this serious. It’s when they’re happiest. All women are black hearted godless monsters, and they feed on (sales at Prada and) holding the threat of a 911 call filled with lies over men like it’s the sword of Damocles. Lying is fuel to them, like a giant evil robot who shovels childrens Christmas toys into a furnace in its stomach, and then it goes “RAWRR!” and smashes some shit.

If not for AIDS and redneck beatings, I bet gay guys would live to be hundreds of years old. 300, at least. Their lives would be a stress free utopia. This must be why gay guys are so comfortable on their knees, because they see the way women act and they drop down in praise several times a day to thank God for this wonderful gift.

EMAIL KNOW-IT-ALL UPDATE - I’m far too stuck up to ever admit I was wrong, but here’s a contrary opinion on why Jenna was strapped to a stretcher. Also, top medical experts now declare that Jenna Jameson is a dumb slut. Drew says, “i’m a paramedic in orange county … it’s actually our protocal to have the parent hold the kid, and put them both on the gurney. although a stomach ache call is basically bull shit and shes a big dumb slut, i just wanted to let you know it is protocal.”

(picture source = splash news online)

jenna jameson says she was just kidding

By brendon April 29, 2010 @ 3:31 PM

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Two days ago Jenna Jameson claimed that Tito Ortiz, “threw me into the bathtub and tore two ligaments in my shoulder.” But now she says the rumors that Tito Ortiz assaulted her are being distorted. One person even claimed Tito threw Jenna into the bathtub and tore two ligaments in her shoulder.

Typical tabloid media. But whatever because now Jenna is taking it all back.

Jenna, who accused Tito of injuring her during an argument, now tells TMZ, “What actually happened has now been dramatically distorted and misinterpreted and remarks that both Tito and I made after the police arrived reflect the state of shock that we were both in.”  Translation — he didn’t hurt me.

Well gee no shit. Of course that bitch was lying. When Tito Ortiz punches you, you stay punched. You don’t go outside and give a press conference. Especially when you’re a 90 pound girl whose white blood cells are still gasping for air after 15 years in porn. If Tito hit her, she wouldn’t have died, she would have turned see-thru then floated up through the ceiling.

joslyn james says tito ortiz beat up jenna jameson

By brendon April 28, 2010 @ 1:15 PM

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It’s been hard to know who is telling the truth in the whole Jenna Jameson – Tito Ortiz domestic abuse story.

On one hand, you have Tito, who has spent a lifetime learning how to inflict maximum damage to the human body with ruthless efficiency. On the other hand, you have Jenna Jameson, who had some kind of ace bandage on her arm yesterday. She was in so much pain she couldn’t even use it to load her car with luggage, and she had to use her good arm to carry things. Oh wait never mind.

The point is, Jenna certainly isn’t lying. And if you still had any doubt, maybe the star of ‘Shorty Is Fuckin Yo Mama’ can open your eyes to the truth. The New York Daily News says…

Tiger Woods’ porn-star paramour joined the war of words between XXX queen Jenna Jameson and her boyfriend Tuesday, saying she’s seen him abuse the skin-flick star.
Joslyn James, 32, said she witnessed Ultimate Fighter Tito Ortiz roughing up his gal pal, contradicting Jameson’s claim that Monday was the first time.
“I saw three separate situations myself,” James, a friend of Jameson’s, told the Daily News. “They would be partying, and she wouldn’t do anything in particular to set him off.”

Man I wish I had a gavel right now. Because I would bang it on the desk and yell “case closed!”