Lady Gaga is on the cover of the January Vanity Fair, and inside theres a topless picture of her. And she’s so skinny you can count her ribs. It’s like someone put heels on a really ugly greyhound.
(this might be a good time to follow me on twitter, if you want)
Ever wish you could see Marion Cotillard topless? Yeah me neither. But I looked anyway because I try to stay open minded when it comes to seeing girls naked. I’m an amazing man.
(source of Marion filming ‘Rust and Bone’ in southern France yesterday = fame. direct links to NSFW topless pics here and here and here and here and here)
The fact that girls have no idea about how to gauge size or measure things really paid off this weekend when Geri Halliwell tried to cover her boobs while changing bikini tops on a yacht off St. Jean Cap Ferrat, France. Because it turns out her hand isn’t nearly as big as she seems to think it is (this would be a good time to follow me on twitter, btw). Still, if someone had grabbed a baby and thrown it really high in the air so she’d have to reach up and catch it, I’d have been grateful.
(image source = fame)
Lady Gaga wore more of her typical crazy crap last night in New York at the CFDA Fashion Awards, and if you’re thinking that her dress must have been a feat of engineering to stay in place and cover her breasts all night, it wasn’t and it didn’t. In fact at one point she was basically just standing there topless (go to my twitter here and here). And so after that she just took it off and ran around with pasties. And as much as I don’t want to like her, she has fantastic tits so I’m conflicted. Because I really really really love tits. They’re my best friend, my muse, my east and my west.
(image source = getty and splash news and inf)
Please believe me when I tell you that I’m not screwing with you. This really happened. Kate Bosworth was in Cancun this weekend, she walked out of the ocean topless, then walked across the beach topless, then walked back into the ocean topless, and there’s no pictures of her boobs. None.
How is that… how does… I… what the hell? Seriously. How? Why?
There’s 8 million pictures of bigfoot and that mother fucker doesn’t even exist, yet Kate Bosworth saunters around essentially naked on a public beach in front of a photographer and we don’t get to see it. I don’t know if I should be outraged or heart broken, all I know is that I can’t masturbate to either one of those.
(image source = splash news)
This week sure has been surprising, and not just because of summers unplanned pregnancies that I’m only hearing about now and need to deal with (time to move!) Yesterday there were new topless pictures of Kim Kardashian, and today there are sort of topless pics of Paris Hilton on some bikini photo shoot in Malibu.
She covers her chest for the most part (except for here) which is weird because her tits are clearly her best feature. If she’s gonna hide anything it should be that big dumb face of hers and her one and a half eyes. Someone go punch her in the stomach. That will fix this problem. Actually that will fix both of my problems in this post.
