In the final weeks of the Presidential Election that began in earnest forty years ago for Hillary Clinton, the campaign has dispatched the likes of Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus to college campuses to remind the kids who their only choice is on election day. Lost in the mirth of sending pop stars in Hillary colors to academic institutions they never attended is the fact that college aged voters don’t vote. They bitch and posture. That pretty much goes for anybody thirty and under. If Millennials voted like 65 and over, Bernie Sanders would be neck and neck with Gary Johnson, both agreeing that weed ought to replace war and only 90% apart on appropriate tax rates.
It’s all fun and games when Miley’s Instagramming photos telling people to kiss her ass if they’re not for Hillary, or sticking her tongue out at gaggles of college girls irate that more of them aren’t currently thriving in the Engineering sciences. But come election day the vast majority of them will sleep in, don stretch pants for a late morning class, and wonder if they can spin last night’s less than remarkable hookup into a rape charge in their memoirs fifteen years hence. Check Facebook thrice in class. Somebody liked that shot of Miley you caught on center campus. Tell your parents to keep your room the same. College debt is slavery.
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