If any of you ladies out there were looking for the perfect spring outfit that tells people “I’m a dead-eyed zombie hooking at Easter brunch” then you’re in luck, because Britney Spears is modeling that exact trend in her latest Insta manic Kohl’s fashion show. And what’s really great is the all the pieces of this outfit combined cost under four dollars. And the wig can be found tumbling across your average Dollar General parking lot. Some people make their Instagram lives aspirational. Spears makes hers wildly obtainable. The white trash egalitarian doped up sex slave 4 u.
Spears will apparently be kicking off her Pieces of Meh tour this July, and if she brings the same overall energy she displays in her Instagram videos to the stage, then I’m excited to relive the sex trafficking fire sale scene from Taken in real life. I don’t go to concerts that often, but when I do you better believe I expect a lobotomized shell of a woman flashing her twat while completely unaware of her surroundings. For the VIP tickets I heard her handlers let you mash the Thorazine down her throat yourself. As she slurs the words “I’m not a girl, not yet catatonic.” Have a great tour Brit.
Photo Credit: Splash News / Instagram / Pacific Coast News