Dick Pic Gets Kid Show Yanked From Netflix

Creative people almost always find a way to incorporate a small piece of themselves into the things they produce. And that’s fine. As long as that small piece of you isn’t your penis. read more

Melissa Joan Hart's Vacation Inconvenienced by Hurricane Maria

Melissa Joan Hart was attacked on social media and eventually deleted her post on the worst thing that happened because of Hurricane Maria. How is it possible to have so much money in your possession and not pay someone to filter your insensitive stupidity.  read more

Lara Croft Reloaded Reboot Is Upon Us

Angelina Jolie fits the porn star aesthetic way more than Alicia. No one saw Tomb Raider for its strong female lead in the face of adversity. Movie tickets sold because men remembered Lara Croft was the closest thing to playable pornography taking place on PlayStation. read more

Female Mad Pooper Continues To Flee From Police Captivity

I love a cool nickname. They always have captivating backstories about their origin. But any woman who tells me she’s been dubbed the “mad pooper” can get none of my attention at the shindig.  read more

Scarlett Johansson Still on the Rebound With Colin Jost

Scarlett Johansson wastes no time in her quest for new people to penetrate her. With her new daring dyke inspired look I can imagine she takes turns with her boyfriends alternating between being a top and bottom. read more

Scott Disick Now Banging Nicole Richie's Younger Sister

I’m not sure who’s more at fault for this relationship. Scott for not giving dating a break to heal himself. Or Sofia for dating someone closer to her dad’s age. read more

Ryan Phillippe Countersues Ex-Playmate GF

An honorary pussy pass can get you a lot of privileges in this world. When the police show up to a residence on a domestic abuse call anyone with a penis in the household is automatically going to jail.  read more

Jessica Simpson Bares Booty For Husbands Birthday

Jessica Simpson just turned 37 not too long ago. But she’s decided to go out with a bang before committing the remainder of her existence playing Bingo and eating canned cat food on purpose. read more

Shailene Woodley Doesn't Have a TV, Is Better Than You

Shailene Woodley is a voluntary vagabond. She gave her house to her grandma and chose to live a bare minimum minimalist lifestyle. All of her worldly belongings are able to fit in a suitcase. Which goes against the exact reason why people become celebrities.  read more

Netflix Narcos Scout Possibly Slain By Sicario

Netflix is second runner-up behind alcohol in unexpected pregnancy. And they're seriously willing to risk it all on their original programming. Even if that means a location scout has to die so your chances of getting laid are increased by 30 percent. read more

Leah Remini Snitches On Jada Pinkett Smith's Scientology Status

Family is forever. So snitching on your sister about her psychotic Scientology beliefs should be expected. Blood in blood out. Scientology was clearly the tax free answer to the Illuminati. read more

Heather Locklear Didn't Dodge Ditch But Ducks Criminal Charges For Car Crash

Heather Locklear has stepped up her personal attention grab game with a sympathy seeking post for a car crash that was all her fault.  read more