When the Drive-Thru clerk tells you you can’t take your horse through the Drive-Thru, you naturally walk him inside to take a giant dump on the floor. That’s why you were using the Drive-Thru in the first place. Does... READ MORE

Police in Tokyo have shut down a service that delivered morbidly obese prostitutes for the purposes of chubby love. Basically, you’d call up a dude that called himself Max Body, (it’s no Carlos Danger, but still), and they would... READ MORE

America’s new favorite pageant, Brooklyn’s smallest penis contest, was held this weekend and a new champ was crowned. The contest was held at the Kings Country Bar in the hipster infested Bushwick neighborhood. I was going to go until... READ MORE

In the latest example of a fast food worker acting like a douche, a Subway “sandwich artist” named “Weedpriest” got caught putting extra salami on their fresh baked bread. The penis belonged to Ian Jett, AKA “Weedpriest”, and we know... READ MORE

It would be easy to shake your head and lament the state of American parenting after reading this Craigslist ad in Philly. Or you can go ahead and  name this poster the fucking parent of the year. Back in the day,... READ MORE

The Satanic Temple of New York City decided to hit Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps where it hurt: by turning his mom into a lesbo through evil magic! The group took a trip down to Mississippi and conducted... READ MORE

Scientists have crunched the numbers and found that the average American dick size is 5.6 inches long. The cockologists compiled the data using a group of over 1600 men and discovered that American men mostly fall right in the... READ MORE

A man in Israel got an unpleasant surprise when he sat on the toilet to drop some felafel bombs. By unpleasant surprise I mean he was bitten on the johnson by a giant fucking snake. It seems that the... READ MORE

Today is national Slurpee day when 7-Eleven’s all over our great nation hand out millions of free sample sizes of their delicious frozen treats. The weird thing is that the free Slurpee samples actually lead to increased Slurpee sales.... READ MORE

A nun with a serious case of gambling addiction was sentenced to 90 days in jail. Did she rig the bingo machine or shoot bones out behind the rectory? No, Sr. Mary Anne Rapp stole $128,000 from two New... READ MORE