The Real Victim of the DNC Email Leaks

July 26, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The DNC email leaks confirmed what most already knew -- people who work in national politics are wonky sinister losers who take themselves far too seriously. Also, they watch shitty movies and find Rachel Maddow attractive. Following the standard... READ MORE

Ariana Grande Selling Sex (VIDEO)

May 25, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Ariana Grande's new album is chock full of songs about wanting to be touched and fucked and feel like a woman. I'm not sure she needs a whole album to make that happen. I know a bar. These are... READ MORE

2016 Grammy Awards the 49th Best Grammy Awards Ever

February 16, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Grammy’s music is akin to grabbing the iPod of a random teen girl chewing bubble gum and pressing shuffle play. You throw in a desperate attempt to feature every single black person in the recording industry into the mix... READ MORE

Ariana Grande Bio Hazard

July 10, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Wolfee Donuts, the puke floored establishment where Ariana Grande and her gender expansive boyfriend licked some donuts has failed a health inspection. Apparently authorities who peruse TMZ saw her donut licking video and busted the shop because you’re not supposed... READ MORE

Ariana Grande Hates America (VIDEO)

July 9, 2015 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Ariana Grande says she hates America. It could be easy to take her comments out of context: “I hate America, I hate Americans.” Perhaps she’s speaking of her friend down the street, America America. Their family is known for starting armed conflicts,... READ MORE

Ariana Grande Licks Holes And Shit Around The Web

July 7, 2015 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Minuscule diva Ariana Grande was spotted in a donut shop’s security footage licking a bunch of donuts and then not buying them. If it’s a fetish, I’m down with it, but I want to do it with you. Otherwise I’m just... READ MORE

Ariana Grande Headlines All Star Game

January 23, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

The NBA has a firm grasp on its fan base. They’ve tapped a dwarf who wears cat ears and appeals to modestly reformed pederasts on the loophole that she is technically an adult, all be it with a glaring hormone imbalance,... READ MORE

Ariana Grande Seems Young

December 11, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I’m pretty sure this chick’s entire appeal is based around looking like a girl who can’t find her parents at a Hello Kitty convention. Which is just like saying Microsoft’s DOS entire appeal was based around being able to... READ MORE

Ariana Grande Taken Out By An Angel

December 4, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Sometimes you plan and plan, but shit just goes wrong. A fucking wing to the head when you’re trying to belt out your mall ballad for the fifteenth time this week. Lingerie models can work through this. They’ve trained... READ MORE

Victoria’s Secret 2014 Fashion Show British Style

December 3, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The Victoria’s Secret fashion show was a huge hit in London last night, aiding the country of England in their annual determination of which of their foppish male denizen are gay and which just seem super gay. It wasn’t... READ MORE


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