Paulina Gretzky Gets Juicy

August 26, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Paulina Gretzky is as close to being a theoretical ten as is humanly possible. Like Icarus, that’s flying too close to the sun. You don’t want to date these chicks. They’ve never paid for anything once. In fact they consider you lucky to be buying them shit. Gretzky appears to be at least mildly interested […]


Paulina Gretzky Future Perfect

June 18, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Paulina Gretzky pretended to post a bikini picture of her post pregnancy body completely innocuously, though obviously it was an attempt to body shame millions of women who reward themselves with cheesecake bites. Gretzky looks good. Almost like a woman who has spent the six months since childbirth doing little more than drinking pressed juice […]


Wayne Gretzky Tells Dustin Johnson To Stop Fucking Around

August 8, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s refreshing in these times of Sodom to see a dad unapologetically demanding his future son-in-law live up to certain levels of decorum. If you want to marry my ass-Instagramming daughter, you will not be fucking other men’s wives, snorting coke, or drinking daily before 2pm. That’s a high price as Wayne Gretzky just redlined […]


Paulina Gretzky Is the New Face of Golf

April 17, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

People who take golf super seriously are expressing concern over Paulina Gretzky raking in the cover of Golf Digest magazine. It’s supposed to be a serious periodical spanning the world of golf. People who subscribe believe that golf is a sport, as opposed to a game played largely by fat men in tan slacks. Paulina […]


Paulina Gretzky Isn’t Half Bad Looking

January 8, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I’m getting kind of misty here. It seems like just yesterday I was masturbating to Paulina’s mom. Now, here I am imagining the daughter. Just like her mom, Paulina isn’t waiting around to nab a professional athlete to marry. It’s like a running back jumping on the biggest guaranteed contract dollars knowing those knees won’t […]


Paulina Gretzky In Maxim and On Fire

November 9, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

We can’t actually share any Maxim photos, it’s a copyright violation of their industrial use of Photoshopping or something like that. But suffice it to say Wayne Gretzky’s hot daughter made the cover of the struggling men’s magazine. In the same week, she also lit her sweater on fire at a bar by accident. I […]


Paulina Gretsky Is Engaged

August 20, 2013 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It came down to the dude who works the afternoon shift at Jiffy Lube and top ranked professional golfer Dustin Johnson. Wayne Gretzky’s daughter chose the professional golfer to let experience up to eighteen months of marital bliss before the cheating, vitriol, and drinking begin. Dustin Tweeted ‘She said yes!!’ over the weekend with a […]


Paulina Gretzky In A Bikini

June 27, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Big time athletes usually first have that hometown wife when coming up. The one who stood by them through their rough years in junior sports leagues, nursed their young bruised egos, let them get into their pants when they needed a lift, cleaned their dirty jerseys when their moms stopped caring to do so. Then […]


Paulina Gretzky Makes The Masters Easier To Watch

April 11, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

The 2013 Masters Tournament begins today, which means that it’s time for people to start talking about Tiger Woods like he’s the world’s greatest athlete while his ex-wife, Elin Nordegren, has sex with her 53-year old billionaire boyfriend on top of their gigantic pile of money. But the actual, important story at this year’s Masters […]


Paulina Gretzky Is Good Luck

March 11, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Like most young, attractive girls these days, Paulina Gretzky is famous because she’s very attractive and her father is extremely wealthy. Her dad, of course, is NHL legend Wayne Gretzky, and the Great One is so proud of what his daughter is doing with his name that he has already asked her once to shut […]