rollergirl knows how to dress

By brendon December 16, 2009 @ 6:25 PM

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Heather Graham went to London for the world premiere of Guy Richies Sherlock Holmes movie (co-starring the great and wildly underrated Mark Strong), and not only did this hot bitch choose a dress that was tight enough to cut off circulation to her hands and feet, she chose one that was white. White is a good color on girls, one that isn’t worn enough. I should open a club where girls can only wear white. A “Whites Only” policy, if you will. I think an interesting gimmick like that will make my club stand out in an overcrowded marketplace. Easy Street, here I come!

(picture source = wenn and getty)

rihanna is a good model

By brendon December 16, 2009 @ 5:03 PM

rihannagq

Rihannas new photo shoot for GQ, specifically the picture above, is fantastic for see-through shirt based reasons, but it’s the toothpick in her mouth that makes it. It’s like you two are about to get it on, and now it’s time to go to war. She’s all steely eyed and focused. Any girl who looks like that is serious about doin’ it, and you better buckle the fuck up before she sucks your penis off and beats you with it.

save some cocaine for the rest of hollywood, nicole

By brendon December 16, 2009 @ 3:55 PM

36466PCN_Nine

I’d rather have the doors lock behind me on a 6-month gay pleasure cruise than in a movie theater showing ‘Nine’. I wouldn’t go see that crap even if the name alluded to the number of blowjobs I would get from Kimberly Phillips if I did. But Nicole Kidman had to go to last nights premiere because she’s in that POS, and to make it more exciting she buried her face in a mountain of cocaine first. HOLY CHRIST, NOW THIS MOVIE IS FUKCIN AMAZING!

(picture source = fame and getty)

kate hudson is single

By brendon December 16, 2009 @ 2:54 PM

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Us magazine says Alex Rodriguez broke up with Kate Hudson because, and you may find this hard to believe, she always had to be the center of attention.

a Rodriguez source tells Us that the actress’ less-than-subtle presence at Yankee games was “a turnoff” to Rodriguez.
“[Hudson] wanted more camera time each and every game. She would always want to be styled before games and she’d insist on front-row seats.” Her motivation was more of a PR move than genuine devotion.
“It was a turnoff to have a girlfriend who always wanted to be on camera. Alex wanted someone who was more interested in building a long-term relationship than just building their profile.”

PICTURE FILE INFO: Kate by the pool with her son Ryder.
SHOWN: Everything Alex just said.
NOT SHOWN: Subtlety, breasts.

reese witherspoon is single

By brendon December 16, 2009 @ 1:33 PM

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Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are individually boring, but put them together and they combine like Volton to form a unstoppable 10-story robot of boring. Thankfully, Hollywood is now safe. Marc Malkin of E! online writes…

Sources confirm that the two decided to end their relationship about two weeks ago.
One source insists it’s completely amicable. “There are no other people involved,” the source said. “The relationship just ended. It just fizzled.”

I feel like this Malkin guy tricked me, because after talking about what a fabulous cook Jake is, the article says…

Earlier this month, Gyllenhaal made headline news when he used the g-word. “Obviously I exist in my girlfriend’s world and my sister’s world in a different way, but it’s opened my heart and I feel much more grown up and want to be grown up as a result of it.”

Really not the first g-word that came to mind. Why won’t this dude just come out of the closet? It’s almost 2010. No one cares, and he’s no good at hiding it anyway. He spent 3 years dating Kirsten Dunst for Christs sake. You don’t have to be Freud to deduce that someone who puts their penis inside of that fug bitch wishes they didn’t have one.

elin nordegren has had enough

By brendon December 16, 2009 @ 12:03 PM

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All of this happened just within the past few days:

- MSNBC reported that Tiger Woods was paying several of his mistresses between 5 and 10 grand a month and that he was still in contact with several of them.

- Fox News wrote that Rachel Uchitel was now staying just a few miles from the marina where Tiger was hiding out.

- Radar said he offered to buy a house in Vegas for the porn star girlfriend that he was flying all over the country to have sex with, a slut named Joslyn James, the star of “MILF Lesson 4″, “Anal Training”, “Oops I Swallowed And It Taste Like 40″ , and “Shorty Iz Fukkin Yo Mama 2″.

Any one of these things would be a perfectly good reason to leave Tiger. Even if all he had done is watch “Shorty Iz Fukkin Yo Mama 2″, Elin would legally be entitled to stab him in the neck with a fork, but instead it seems she’ll be content to take her 300 million and walk away.

The New York Post says moving vans descended on their Florida home yesterday and she spent about 10 minutes going over details with them before they went to work. And People magazine says…

(A source said), “She plans to leave Tiger.”
Another source says, “She’s made up her mind. There’s nothing to think about: he’s never going to change.”

MSNBC adds…

“She and Tiger are living separately now, but she’ll be making this split very open and official right after Christmas,” said a source.
Another source said that Tiger has a long road ahead if he wants forgiveness.
“Elin is not going to be one of these ‘stand by her man’ women. She’s a strong woman, this is beyond embarrassing.”

Shorty Iz Fukkin Yo Mama. 2. Chapter 2. Wow. And awesome goes to 11 because Joslyn James really does have a 10 year old kid (that she abandoned). So when Shorty says he’z fukkin yo mama, he’z not joking. He meanz it, and he meanz you. Keep this in mind when the trial begins for that kids race and height based killing spree.

maybe not the best idea in the world

By brendon December 15, 2009 @ 6:22 PM

bethenny frankel peta 151209

Bethenny Frankel of ‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’ unveiled her PETA ad today, and if there was any doubt she was gonna be photo shopped beyond all recognition in the final picture, she took care of that by standing next to it. Either that or they used a picture of her daughter taken 15 years ago.

Whoevers ass that is, it’s fantastic (sexy close up here), but it sure as hell isn’t hers (behind the scenes). The poster and the person standing next to it look almost nothing alike. It looks as much like Bethenny as it does Mr. Met or the number 4.

melanie griffith has still got it

By brendon December 15, 2009 @ 4:59 PM

Melanie Griffith Leaving The Neil George Salon With A Black Eye

The cup Melanie Griffith is drinking from in these pictures must have been filled up at the Fountain of Youth because she hasn’t aged a day! She looks exactly how I remember. I remember her lips going all the way across her face like Heath Ledgers Joker or Oscar the Grouch, and her hair being dry and stringy, the kind you’d see on a lady in a storybook where naughty children are baked into pies.

(source = flynet online)