OJ did or did not confess his murders to Oprah

By brendon June 23, 2011 @ 4:41 PM

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Oprah Winfrey said last week that she was determined to interview OJ Simpson and get him to finally confess that he murdered Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman on June 12, 1994.

Well that was easy.

According to the National Enquirer, the interview is set to be filmed after Simpson confessed he killed the pair in self-defense to a producer from inside prison.
“He told the producer: ‘Tell Oprah that yes, I did it. I killed Nicole, but it was in self-defense. She pulled a knife on me and I had to defend myself.’
“O.J. said he went home and kept getting angrier and angrier and worked himself into an absolute rage.”
Simpson allegedly told the producer he ‘didn’t like the way she treated me in front of the kids at the restaurant. I didn’t like that she was routinely having guys have sex with her at her condo with the kids there.
‘I went over there to give her a piece of my mind.’
When he arrived and no one answered at the house, he started pounding the door and shouting.
The door allegedly then swung open and Nicole was standing there with a kitchen knife in her hand.
‘O.J. told the producer, “she was yelling go away! Go away! And waving the knife around at me. At one point she was lunging at me with the knife and I was just trying to talk to her. Nicole stepped out of the apartment – slashing the knife in the air.
“I was in such a rage that something just snapped. I couldn’t take her constant taunting of me with other men or her using drugs and drinking while my kids were living with her. I went beserk.
“Before I knew what I was doing I took the knife away from Nicole and started slashing at her. I cut her over and over again until she was lifeless. I was shocked at my own anger – I had killed the woman I had loved for so long..”‘
He allegedly went on to tell the producer he also knifed Ron Goldman in self-defense as he tried to attack Simpson when he turned up at the home soon after and spotted Nicole’s body on the floor.

Unfortunately, today a spokesperson for Oprah said, “It’s not true.”

So does that mean OJ didn’t tell her producer this? Or are certain parts not true, and she’s pouting and issuing this blanket denial because the Enquirer got the details out before she did.

Because it sounds true. That story had a lot of details, and it totally sounds dumb enough for OJ to have thought up. According to the autopsy, the wound that killed Nicole was, “gaping and exposes the larynx and cervical vertebral column. It measures 5 1/2 x 2 1/2 inches.” In other words he damn near chopped her head off. The only time you can chop someones head off in self defense is if you’re a Jedi.

Lindsay Lohan walks AGAIN, will not go to jail

By brendon June 23, 2011 @ 2:35 PM

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Moments ago, at 11:33am pct, Lindsay Lohan walked out of a court room yet again, despite violating her probation by failing an alcohol test. The judge ruled that the failed test was not enough to send her to jail, and that the defendant is given the benefit of the doubt if there’s any ambiguity. The ambiguity in this case being whether or not drinking was in fact a violation.

On June 2nd, the Sheriffs Department told the LA Times that, while under house arrest, “Lohan is allowed visitors but cannot consume alcohol or narcotics and is subject to random tests.”

Yet now TMZ is saying that todays judge ruled the prior judge only required Lindsay to be tested for drugs, not alcohol, and that’s why she walked.

None of which changes the fact that Lindsay lies constantly, and just 24 hours ago was quoted as saying she’s sober now and, “alcohol is not in my house.” In hindsight she was probably just hinting that she was empty to see if the reporter would go to the store for her.

Thursday headlines, with romance and danger!

By brendon June 23, 2011 @ 2:19 PM

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LINDSAY LOHANS PUBLICIST- is upset that someone sold a picture of an open wine bottle at Lindsays house because he would have paid more for it and her current drinking, “never would have been an issue.” Because if I can’t see the problem, there is no problem. That’s what I tell girls when they claim I got them pregnant too. (e!)

EMMA STONE AND ANDREW GARFIELD - are now dating. I bet she made him lasagna. (ny post)

DANIEL RADCLIFF – is on Broadway these days starring in ‘How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying’, but last nights performance was cancelled because a 29-year-old stagehand died of cardiac arrest, the result of a drug overdose, right before the curtain went up. He should have asked Daniel about that Horcrux thing. (ny times)

MATT LAUER – flew from NY to LA on Tuesday to interview Lindsay Lohan, but then she locked herself in her bedroom and refused to do the interview she already agreed to for less than $100,000. This must be some of that dedication to hard work she’s so committed to now. (page six)

ALYSSA CAMPANELLA – is in New York doing promotion this week, which is nice because I keep forgetting that our current Miss USA is a hot ass ginger. Fuck you, Canada! (splash and wenn)

Lindsay Lohans party got her drug tested

By brendon June 23, 2011 @ 1:45 PM

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Lindsay Lohan wore this smart little outfit as she made her 11th court appearance in 13 months today, just before 10am pct, after failing an alcohol test that was given to her last week (despite previous reports that she was not being tested while under house arrest).

The awesome part is that she was just 6 days from being released and free and clear to do whatever she wants. All she had to do was not drink for 30 days, but she doesn’t give a fuck what judges tell her to do and so she drank. And yes, she just spent 90 days in rehab at the Betty Ford Center, but she drank then too so of she course she’s still drinking now.

And awesome gets awesomer because it might have been her arrogance that gets her sent to jail. Popeater says…

It is reported that the Probation Department is also angry that Lohan has been hosting parties while under house arrest.

That would be the party she held on the roof of her Venice Beach condo while she was supposed to be in jail. The Probation Department saw those photos just like everyone else, and arrived to give her a test a day later. So at least someone in the LA justice system does something other than rape my sweetly innocent belief in equality.

NOTE: there are no cameras in the court room today, and the judge has ordered all electronic devices to be turned off, so no reporters from the court room can give updates. There are sketch artists and one photographer inside. As of 11:15am pct, the hearing has yet to begin.

Lindsay violated probation, due back in court today

By brendon June 23, 2011 @ 11:16 AM

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Hopefully no one actually believed Lindsay Lohan when yesterdays interview with Life and Style came out, and she claimed to be sober now:

She insists, there is no booze, no matter what.
“When my friends come over, they’re not drinking,” she notes. “Alcohol is not in my house, so it’s just not a part of my life.”

Because of course that was a lie, just like all the other times she’s lied about the exact same thing, and now…

Lindsay Lohan has violated the terms of her probation by testing positive for alcohol on June 12 or June 13, and has been ordered to appear in front of Judge Stephanie Sautner at the LAX Airport Courthouse Thursday morning for a probation violation hearing, Radar has exclusively learned.
“Lindsay tested positive for alcohol. The judge in her DUI case, Judge Elden Fox said she couldn’t consume any alcohol while on probation. The probation department has prepared a report, and Lindsay will be in court (today).”

God I wish I were a judge. Not only would I lock Lindsay up, but I would do it personally and trick her into walking into a room that she thought we were gonna smoke weed in but was actually an old timey cage, and then I’d yell “get comfortable, bitch” as I slammed the door.

Avril Lavigne is doing whatever this is

By brendon June 22, 2011 @ 6:30 PM

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Avril Lavigne was on a boat in St. Tropez today, being as unlikable as ever, and just so you don’t get your hopes up, this picture set does not end with a shark attack. I was pretty disappointed too.

(image source = bauer griffin)

Ryan Dunn was really really drunk

By brendon June 22, 2011 @ 4:26 PM

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It was surprising when we heard that ‘Jackass’ star Ryan Dunn died in a drunken car crash, but that was because we didn’t know it was after leaving a bar with a blood alcohol level two and a half times the legal limit and then driving 140 miles per hour. Of course he died. He might as well have put on a blindfold and driven with his feet too.

People says…

Dunn was driving at twice the legal limit, with authorities saying toxicology results put his blood alcohol concentration at 0.196 percent, while the legal state limit is 0.08.
“The initial crash reconstruction investigation determined that Mr. Dunn’s vehicle was traveling between 132-140 mph at the time of the collision,” West Goshen Police Chief Michael Carroll said in a statement.

Jesus, how do you even reconstruct an accident where the car is going 140. By watching ‘Tron’? It turns out this isn’t even a good anti-drunk driving story, because of course he died. If you wanted to kill yourself, this is what you would do. He did everything but set cobras loose in the back seat.

Lindsay Lohan has changed this time. Really

By brendon June 22, 2011 @ 3:34 PM

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Over the weekend Lindsay Lohan gave an interview to Life and Style, and naturally she told them she’s changed and things are gonna be different this time. But if you think she’s just saying the exact same things as she did during all the other “things are gonna be different this time” interviews…. well then, yes, you would be correct.

“I’ve been having a lot of work-related meetings. Sometimes my friends come over. And I get to see my sister, Ali, which is nice,” Lindsay says. Although, she insists, there is no booze, no matter what.
“When my friends come over, they’re not drinking,” she notes. “Alcohol is not in my house, so it’s just not a part of my life.”
But when Lindsay is released on June 29, it won’t necessarily mean the end of nightclubs for her. “I don’t think you should ever say never,” she explains.
“I’ve grown up — and I’m willing to do what I have to do to prove that.”
Most important, she says, she loves acting and hopes that someday she can be taken seriously again.
“You go through experiences. I do understand that I need to gain some of the respect back, but I’m willing to work hard for that. I understand the situations I’ve put myself in, and I don’t want to go back to that.”

And if you doubt Lindsays sincerity, might I suggest you look at the headline picture. Because what better way to illustrate what a humble, dedicated professional you are than by hanging a life-sized picture of yourself in your living room.