Selena Gomez Fans Like to Choke Out Selena Gomez

September 10, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Teenage girl fans are fucking insane. I don’t just mean the Taylor Swift junior nazi squad terrorizing social media from behind their anonymous screens. I mean, real life, going cuckoo bat shit. I don’t remember trying to desperately touch... READ MORE

Miley Cyrus Naked on a Wrecking Ball

September 10, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If you start getting into the deeper meaning of Miley Cyrus music, you could really get lost in the convoluted allegories and complex subtext. Like, in her last music video, Can’t Stop, Miley couldn’t stop partying with subjugated minorities.... READ MORE

Serena Williams Dominates

September 10, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Serena Williams dominated yet another tennis tournament, winning the U.S. Open then crushing her vanquished opponent’s thorax between her big toe and her little piggy that stayed home. Flush with adrenaline, Serena leapt from center court in Queens to... READ MORE

Iowa To Let Blind People Carry Guns. AMERICA!

September 9, 2013 | WTF | editor| 0 Comments

That’s right. The great state of Iowa is not only going to allow the legally blind to purchase guns, but also to carry them around in public. In most states in our great nation the ability to see is... READ MORE

Khloe and Kendall Take Over Kylie’s Twitter Feed, OM Fucking G

September 9, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Look out when Khloe gets to hiding from her grown up problems by hanging out with her high school dropout sisters on social media, because things are going to get grade school wacky. Some people are labeling this incident... READ MORE

Kelly Osbourne Hires Fat Naked Scary Painted Woman To Make Her Look Pretty

September 9, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The day you stop fighting the tide and start to go with the flow is the day you’re officially grown up. Kelly Osbourne has been hanging out with hot actresses and models her entire young adult life trying to... READ MORE

Let It Go, Britney Spears

September 9, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Britney Spears posted the above image from the set of her new music video to Instagram yesterday, and I guess we can’t really fault the former teen pop queen for trying to remain relevant, but it’s time for her... READ MORE

Miley Cyrus Performed On German TV With A Twerking Little Person (VIDEO)

September 9, 2013 | video | editor| 0 Comments

For as much shit as we give Miley Cyrus for being a massive douchebag, completely oblivious to the fact that the majority of us are laughing at her and her legion of mouth-breathing fans, her recent appearance on the... READ MORE

Justin Bieber’s Mustache Is a Game Changer

September 9, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Justin Bieber publicly debuted his mustache this weekend in New York . I think we can all agree that there’s nothing more manly on a girl than a mustache. When you throw in Justin’s wicked masculine temper, his sexually... READ MORE

Minka Kelly Is Still Perfect

September 9, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

I don’t know if Minka Kelly is a neo-Nazi or if she has horrendous IBS and shits her pants every six seconds or if she’s simply the worst human being on the face of the planet, but the fact... READ MORE