Leighton Meester has a sex tape

By brendon June 19, 2009 @ 5:46 AM

CW Network 2009 Upfront - Arrivals

Leighton Meester of Gossip Girl was born in prison while her mom was doing time for drug trafficking (more here), so she’s almost definitely a little bit screwed up, and yet the news of her sex tape hitting the market is still a surprise.   A very very very very very welcome surprise.  TMZ says…

“We’ve learned a Meester tape is being shopped around town. It was shot a few years back, and shows Leighton in mostly innocuous though nude scenes — with several big exceptions … one involving her very talented feet.”

Oh no. Oh crap. “Her very talented feet”? I hope this isn’t the tape she and I made, the one where she dialed 911 with her toes and then kicks me and then runs away.  That bitch is tough as nails.

(hq jump = here.  image source = flynet)

nicely done katie. thats perfect.

By brendon June 18, 2009 @ 2:23 PM

Kate Price Posing In A Bikini On A Boat (USA AND CANADA ONLY)

This week is starting to feel like someone sat down in London last month, they wrote a list of possible photo shoot themes and outfits, and then Katie Price and Bruno divvied them up.

(12 more = here.   hq jump = here.  image source = flynet)

It makes perfect sense

By brendon June 18, 2009 @ 1:57 PM

bruno madrid photocall 180609

Bruno made an appearance at the at Las Ventas bull ring in Madrid, Spain earlier today to promote his movie, and so obviously he wore a skin tight bull outfit.  Of course.  Why wouldn’t he?  I’m all man, but that shit is hot.  He’s half man, half beast.  In a related story, I made an Asian girl half-white last night when I banged her.

(hq jump = here. image source = wenn)

Afternoon headlines

By brendon June 18, 2009 @ 11:35 AM

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BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE – donated $1 million to a U.N. agency providing aid to refugees in Pakistan. This is just days after they gave the same amount to a hospital in Missouri. In a related story, Jennifer Lopez rolled down the window of her limo and yelled, “Why don’t you get a house, jerk!” to a homeless guy, then high-fived her friends as the driver sped away. (source = the ap)

JON GOSSELIN – was caught smoking what looks to be a joint. Luckily that’s legal if you’re married to Kate Gosselin, which he is. (source = radar)

ELLE MACPHERSON – as the worlds hottest 45-year-old dropped her kids off at school in London, this guy with the scooter had to feel even cooler than he usually does. I hope she doesn’t blow him right there, right in front of the kids. (14 more pics from today and Saturday = here.   hq jump = here.   source = wenn, fame and getty)

Playboy is deceptive

By brendon June 18, 2009 @ 10:40 AM

JUL Cover Olivia FA.indd

Nerds love G4 Attack of the Show host Olivia Munn even more than they love debating who would win in a fight, Joss Whedon or JJ Abrahms. They even love her more than they love Yoda, and make no mistake about it, nerds really really really love Yoda. So Playboy is playing with fire this month with Munn as the cover girl. Not only is she not naked inside, but either she only owns one bikini or Playboy just took a pic from her Complex magazine shoot from last February. And they didn’t even take an especially good one.

Playboy did this same kind of thing when they took a Jessica Alba pic from the movie, “The One Where She’s In A Bikini” and used it for their March 2006 cover, and I did this same kind of thing when I scanned this Denise Milani picture and tried to make a lady.

(hq jump = here.  uhq of the last alba pic = here)

“Whats up, London”

By brendon June 18, 2009 @ 8:35 AM

Britney is being criticized today because last night in Manchester, England, she gave the city a shout out. More specifically she gave London a shout out when she said, “What’s up London?” But what are the odds Britney even knows the difference. She probably thinks England and London and the UK are all the same thing. And when someone pointed out her mistake, she just snorted and laughed and admitted she’s not very good at geology.

“Morgan Freeman Incest Shocker”

By brendon June 18, 2009 @ 7:46 AM

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Okay so this is from the Enquirer, and by all accounts Morgan Freeman is a very nice man, and I can’t think of one single bad thing I’ve ever heard about him, but HOLY SHIT it would be terrific if this hot ass story was true.

“Morgan Freeman has been having a nearly decade-long affair with his step-granddaughter – a scandalous charge that has emerged in the bitter divorce battle between the acclaimed actor and his wife Myrna…
The relationship between the 72-year-old actor with step-granddaughter E’Dena Hines, 27, began when she was a teen…
E’Dena is the granddaughter of Morgan’s first wife, Jeanette Adair Bradshaw, and was raised by Morgan and Myrna ‘since she was a little girl.’
‘E’dena (said) when she was a teenager, she and Morgan went to dinner at a friend’s house one evening. Both had been drinking, and when they returned home, Morgan attempted to have sex with her. They stopped just short of having intercourse.’
Myrna confronted Morgan, and he agreed to leave E’Dena alone – but unbeknownst to Myrna, the relationship continued for years.”

That was a really touching “so how did you two meet” story. My heart was all like “awww” when I was reading it. It’s like the Notebook or something. E’Dena must have been really pretty. I heard the only reason guys molest girls is because the girls are really pretty. And I bet she was flattered that a big Hollywood star had a crush on her, and that he would risk everything to be with her. It’s romantic. The most romantic story ever, some would say.

(story source = enquirer. image source = splash news online)

Best story ever?

By brendon June 18, 2009 @ 6:06 AM

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Today will certainly be embarrassing for 2008 “American Idol” runner-up David Archuleta, and I’m sure he would appreciate everyone’s understanding and discretion. But that sure as fuck isn’t gonna happen here. Not after his pain-in-ass-dad got busted with his dick in a prostitute.  Us magazine says…

“The father of ‘American Idol’ runner-up David Archuleta was charged with soliciting a massage parlor prostitute, stemming from a raid in January.
Jeff Archuleta pleaded no contest and paid a $582 fine after being busted at the Queens of Reiki on Jan. 14 in Midvale, Utah.
During the raid, Midvale officers found one client receiving services, according to news reports.
‘Two of our detectives went back to that room to stop the activity,’ Midvale Police Sgt. John Salazar told news outlets. ‘Inside they found a female masseuse and male client. At that time an interview ensued and the male client admitted to receiving sexual gratification from the masseuse.’
Jeff Archuleta, 41, was that male client, according to court documents.
But his lawyer Eric Bauer told NBC4 in Midvale that he was there getting legitimate massage therapy for his back.

“Legitimate massage therapy for his back”?  Wow.  The balls on this guy.  I’ve never been to a prostitute (in this country) but if I got arrested I like to think I could do better than that.  Like it wasn’t prostitution at all.  We we’re having a contest to see if I could come in her mouth.  And if I could she got 100 dollars in prize money.  Yaay, she did it, she won!