Before going to court this morning and having the California legal system show its complete and undeniable incompetence once again, Lindsay Lohan stopped at a Starbucks in Moreno, California, and I guess they sell blankets now because she left wearing one. And then when they got in the van, the guy with the silver hair and mustache pulled it off her, like some kind of incredibly disappointing magic trick.
8:08am – Lindsay Lohan was nice and early for court this morning, arriving at 8:03am for her 8:30am appearance before Judge Elden Fox for violating probation. She could be sentenced to up to one year in jail today, but that’s unlikely. What is very likely is my boredom/disappointment.
8:20am – E! says Lindsay is very likely to go back to jail today. “Judge Elden Fox refused to meet with (Lohans attorney) Shawn Chapman Holley in the run-up to the hearing and is expected to hand down today’s sentence with a very heavy hand.” And then the pussy sheriff will let her right back out. Just leave the car running Dina.
8:30am – this should begin any second. Glad I’m not the judge. One look at those tits of hers and I’d let her right back out. My city would be lawless but very busty.
8:40am – Lindsay is seated in court, waiting for the judge. No cameras in the courtroom today.
8:48am – Lohans attorney is privately meeting with the judge in chambers, and just before she went in, she nodded at Lindsay, then made the “blowjob” sign where she has her hand up by her mouth and pushes her tongue against the inside of her mouth. What a lawyer!
9:02am – zzzzzzzz, zzzzzzzzzz.
9:14am - Lindsays attorney is out of chambers, and Lindsay reportedly looks “relieved” now, and was even seen showing her platform heels to her mom. Fantastic.
9:26am – watching raw feed from the networks, it sounds like Lindsay is going back to rehab. No jail.
9:29am – she is going back to Betty Ford until January 3rd. NO FUCKING JAIL TIME. At all. Prosecutors were asking for the full 180 days of jail time for violating her probation, the judge said he would give her 30 days for each violation, instead HE GAVE HER NONE. NOT ONE FUCKING DAY IN JAIL.
10:01am – Unfuckingbelievable. Among other things, here’s what Lindsays attorney said before sentencing…
“Relapse is a part of recovery, she Is here today with her counselor from Betty Ford, I would ask the court to not punish her, she is trying her best, she would like to remain in Betty Ford and continue her treatment.”
And this is what the Judge said…
“Let me be clear I’m going to do exactly what the DA wants if you violate the program in any way, if you leave the program early, and if you test positive.”
And yes, that’s the same thing he told her last time too. And it’s what the judge before this told her. And the judge before that. And now he’s just gonna sit there. I don’t give a fuck if she gets off drugs, she broke the fucking law, again and again. “He who spares the wicked injures the good.” Do you know who said that? Well I don’t because I don’t read books, but it sounds like someone smart.
BRADLEY COOPER – was NOT one of the cast members who complained about Mel Gibson and got him kicked off ‘Hangover 2′, and only E! is giving credit/blame to anyone but Zach Galifianakis (they say it was Warner Brothers management). Nobody likes a tattle tale, Zach. (e!, tmz)
CHRISTINA AGUILERA – says daily life is a struggle since deciding to get a divorce, and refuses to address any rumors of infidelity. “Out of respect for my husband, I prefer to keep the specifics private.” Oh is that right? Well maybe this… 20 dollar bill will change your mind. (nydn)
TYLER HAS SEXY READERS –
like Danielle, the girl in the headline picture, (go to her myspace music page). (UPDATE – Danielle decided she didn’t like that picture. Actually Danielle’s bf didn’t like it. So now it’s a picture of my beloved Brooke.) People liked this contest so it’s back, now with a monthly vote for $1000. Sexy girls have enough obstacles in life – the stigma of beauty, jealousy, books – and up until now they’ve been hot for free. I think that’s terrible, and I’m not gonna stand for it. (contest details)
SEAN PENN – was filming ‘This Must Be The Place’ in NYC yesterday, “dressed in drag (to play) a retired rock star setting out to find his father’s executioner, an ex-Nazi war criminal who is a refugee in the U.S.” Is it me or does it sound like someone dropped two unrelated scripts a few months ago and mixed up some of the pages, and now they’re filming that shit? (pcn)
The last time Mel Gibson gave a performance, it was theater of the mind, audio only, and his character was telling his girlfriend he was gonna kill her and bury her in his rose garden.
“But a movie you’re acting in, you don’t have a lot of control — you just show up and vomit your lines out. I’m not the boss. I’m in a deep protest right now with a movie I’m working on, up in arms about something. But I can’t get the guys to [listen] … I’m not making any leeway.”
Update: Zach Galifianakis has made some leeway. Deadline is reporting…
Mel Gibson won’t be appearing in The Hangover Part II. (A statement from director Todd Phillips said): “I thought Mel would have been great in the movie and I had the full backing of Jeff Robinov and his team. But I realize filmmaking is a collaborative effort, and this decision ultimately did not have the full support of my entire cast and crew.”
Deadline goes on to make the excellent point that Mike Tyson was celebrated for his cameo in the first ‘Hangover’, and that animal spent 3 years in jail after he was convicted of rape. The things Mel Gibson said were mean and scary, but isn’t rape worse? And don’t you sort of assume Tyson was saying mean and scary things during the rape, which makes him “just as bad” + “much much worse”? I don’t know what people talk about during rape, but I assume it’s like, “scream and I’ll kill you”, not, “hey remember that scene in ‘Marley and Me’ when the dog jumped in the pool!”
(and now, unrelated pictures of jayde nicole in tiny shorts)
On Tuesday, Kanye West told Ellen DeGeneres that the new gold and diamonds in his mouth weren’t simply laid on top of his real teeth, but they were his real teeth, because he had the old ones taken out and replaced with lavish jewels. Does he look like an idiot? Of course he does, but I included the video just in case you had any lingering doubts.
Now here’s the big question: did he really replace his teeth with diamonds? EW has called shenanigans, and spoke to a famous cosmetic dentist to see if their declaration of shenanigans is just.
“It’s a possibility, but I really doubt that the gold was extended into his actual socket within the gum and bone to replace the actual teeth themselves,” says the dentist. “There’s no way you can just place the gold into the gum or the bone without any connection to your natural teeth.”
(It’s) much more likely that West had his teeth trimmed down and used them as support for a gold and diamond encrusted bridge.
It’s also possible that West had his front teeth surgically removed, replaced them with titanium implants, and then had the flashy structure built on top. The latter procedure would require a months-long waiting period for the titanium implants to set.
Sounds like Kanye got lucky. I thought I was getting diamond teef as a kid too, because my dentist said he had something special for my mouth. He said they were jewels, “the ol’ family jewels” he called them, but when I woke up a few hours later, nothing. What the fuck dude!
Brooke Hogan got up early this morning and went for a walk on Miami Beach in a red bikini, and as luck would have it, a photographer was there too. What a coincidence!
Obviously I cropped a few of the pictures at the beginning, but, and I don’t know why you would, but if you want the unedited ones, they start here. If I were you, I would stick to the cropped ones, but, it’s your life man. I can’t help you if you don’t want help.
(source = inf daily)
When Christina Aguilera announced last week that she and her husband Jordan Bratman had separated, most people were surprised. But the nurses at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center who helped stitch up her bloody lip a few days earlier probably weren’t. Radar says…
Christina Aguilera made a late-night trip to a Los Angeles hospital in the days leading up to her divorce.
“Christina was bleeding from her mouth and had a bit of a busted lip,” a source said.
“Jordan told the nurses she had fallen down.”
“Shortly after they arrived to Cedars, Christina’s ‘private surgeon’ arrived to put a few stitches in her lip.”
The same day that they announced their separation, October 12th, Aguilera was seen in the pictures below, seemingly trying to hide her face and with what might be a cut beneath her lower lip.
It’s possible of course that she really did fall down and the timing of all this is just an unfortunate coincidence. HELl, I’m accident Prone too. Glad it’s not just ME! THIS morning I even got a bad burn on my crotch, because my girlfriends coffee was too BITter. CHecked it, IS what I should have done. But I didn’t and she accidentally spilled the whole thing. Life sure is CRAZY!
(image source = flynet)
JWOWW – has turned down a $400,000 offer to pose naked for Playboy. “I am not going to do Playboy in the near future. There is a better opportunity out there, which everybody will probably see soon.” That money is gonna look pretty good a year from now when she’s strapped to a spinning wheel of wood while someone throws knives at her. (huff post)
DIANNA AGRON – of ‘Glee’ posted about their sexy GQ photo shoot. “If you are hurt or these photos make you uncomfortable, it was never our intention. And if your eight-year-old has a copy of our GQ cover in hand, again I am sorry. But I would have to ask, how on earth did it get there?”
I have a message for concerned parents too: I don’t give a fuck about your stupid kid. You had it, you raise it. Dianna can bake the little bastards into a pie for all I care. (tumblr)
FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER – but only if you’re a hot, slutty girl. Or a regular, slutty girl who can keep a secret. (twitter)