Chris Brown does remember now

By brendon September 01, 2009 @ 10:05 AM

Chris Brown is furious today over rumors that he can’t remember the night when he beat the shit out of Rihanna (you better watch your back, rumors. Chris Brown will choke a bitch). He issued a statement to People magazine last night, and this Chris Brown wants to make it clear that he does remember hitting Rihanna, and that the Chris Brown who was on Larry King was lying when he said he didn’t.

“There have been reports on the Internet that I didn’t remember what happened that night with Rihanna. I want to try and set things straight.”
“That 30 seconds of the interview they used of me was taken from a one hour interview during which that same question was asked something like four or five times – and when you look at the entire interview you will see it is not representative of what I said.
“The first four times – or however many times it was – I gave the same answer – which was that I didn’t think it was appropriate for me to talk about what happened that night. I said it was not right for me and it really wasn’t fair to Rihanna. The fifth time – or whatever it was – I just misspoke. I was asked, ‘Do you remember doing it?’ and I said, ‘No.’

There’s little doubt that this kind of interview can be nerve-wracking, so maybe he really did just fumble over his words and say “no” because he didn’t want to go into details.  I guess that’s possible.  It’s also possible that I nail Megan Fox in the ass before noon today, but the odds of that are 50 percent, at best.  Maybe 60, but only because I look especially hot today.  In summation, I’m very attractive and this motherfuckers lying.  The End.

Britney Spears is a good mom

By brendon August 31, 2009 @ 6:04 PM


The Spears’ises are in Miami today, lounging poolside with Bitneys 2 legitimate kids and Jamie Lynns out-of-wedlock bastard who can’t get into heaven. Britney takes her kids to the pool almost every week lately, which is really cute unless she subconsciously wants them dead so she repeatedly puts them in dangerous situations. Not the pool in this case, I just mean being white in Miami.

(11 more pictures here, hq jump here.  source = splash news)

grow up ginger spice

By brendon August 31, 2009 @ 3:12 PM


Geri Halliwell spent the weekend in Saint Tropez, and she could barely contain her laughter during a walk on the beach when she passed some of the fancy gentleman who, much like myself, only feel free when naked. I always suspected the popular girls did stuff like this when they got together. Snickering about boys and making mean comments. Girls are like Keyser Söze. They act all innocent and shit but drop your guard for one second and they’ll shoot you in the face.

(24 more pictures, including all the sexxxy ones, here.  hq jump here.  source = fame)

Nice job spaz

By brendon August 31, 2009 @ 1:56 PM


The Jonas Brothers sang all of their amazing hit songs last night in Toronto, but it was a feast for the eyes as well when the boys took to the sky and showed off their athleticism (video of it here). Thanks in part to a trampoline, they flew to heights of zero feet, risking it all as they soared parallel to the stage.

And last night the dangers became all too clear when Joe Jonas, perhaps light-headed from all the gentle hopping, failed to land his twisty jumping-jack thing. He recovered nicely though and reset by sticking a little hop, a move he practices at home in his cheerleading skirt. I’m just glad he wasn’t hurt as he mocked the laws of gravity. I thought I was watching ‘the Matrix’ for a second there.

Chris Brown doesn’t remember

By brendon August 31, 2009 @ 1:12 PM

Chris Brown has recorded an interview with Larry King to air Wednesday night, and in this preview clip Brown says he doesn’t remember the night when he “punched (Rihanna) in the left eye. He then drove away and continued to punch her in the face … (this) caused her mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle.” What he told Rihanna that night was:

“I am going to beat the shit out of you when we get home!”

What he told Larry King when asked, “Do you remember doing it” was…

“No. I don’t, it’s like, it’s crazy to me, like, I’m like, wow.”

He and his gentle sky blue sweater and bowtie all seemed pretty surprised to hear that he had done this. I bet Rihanna was pretty surprised to when he “began applying pressure to her right carotid arteries causing her to be unable to breath. She began to lose consciousness. She reached up with her left hand and began to attempting to gauge his eyes in attempt to flee herself. Brown bit her left ring and middle fingers and released her.”

I judge books by their cover, and since sky blue is calm and soothing no one who wears it could possibly be a bad person, but I wonder if it’s still too subtle. For his next interview I’d like to see him dressed as Santa with his arm around a baby panda in a wheelchair.

morning headlines

By brendon August 31, 2009 @ 11:16 AM


MACUALAY CULKIN – is reportedly the biological father of Blanket, Michael Jacksons 7-year-old son. Culkin allegedly donated sperm to Michael when he was 21. Yeah I bet he did. It sounds like the cops showed up one day and Michael had to explain why there was a bowl of a young boys semen in his fridge. (source = the sun)

VICTORIA BECKHAM – went to the gym this weekend with no makeup. Still looked hot though. Natural beauties like me and Victoria don’t need makeup. (daily mail)

CURRENT SONG – ‘Show Me’ from Mint Royale with Pos from De La Soul. If this song doesn’t make you shake your ass, you’ve been dead for at least an hour. And the video features a flying Japanese kitty. Look out for those trees flying Japanese kitty! (youtube)

ANNALYNNE MCCORD – hosted at the Wet Republic pool this weekend in Vegas, but just because her swimsuit was boring and her poses were stupid is no reason to skip these pictures. Actually now that I think it that’s a perfectly good reason to skip these. Next! (10 more here. hq jump here. source = splash)

DJ AM died of an overdose

By brendon August 31, 2009 @ 10:00 AM

dj am billboard 300809

The death of DJ AM is unofficially being considered an overdose, not a suicide, but let’s dogpile onto the sadness because the reason he was taking so many drugs was because he became addicted to the anti-anxiety medicine Xanax, and this led to a relapse into other drugs. Xanax was prescribed to him because he had to fly all over the world for his job, and he developed a near crippling anxiety over flying after he was almost burned alive in a plane crash last September. Seems reasonable.

AM, a recovering addict, developed a dependency to Xanax and other benzodiazepines (a group of drugs used to treat anxiety) as a direct result of the plane crash a year ago … doctors began prescribing Xanax and other anti-anxiety medications to relieve his fear, but the benzos triggered a relapse into addiction. We’re told benzos are particularly dicey for recovering addicts.
DJ AM’s relapse was “recent” — he was not abusing for a prolonged period of time before his death.
We’re also told the OD had “absolutely nothing to do with his recent breakup.”
Our sources say the evidence strongly indicates cause of death will be a combination of crack cocaine and benzos.

Last year AM talked to Glamour magazine about his profound drug and food addictions that lasted from his teens to his mid 20′s. His depression led to suicide attempts and before gastric bypass surgery in 2003, he weighed 324 pounds. That interview was in January of 2008, and at the time it had been nine and a half years since he’d done drugs or had a drink. 9 months later he was in the plane crash, less than two years later he was dead of a drug overdose.

I’d like to hear what Kelly Preston and Jenna Elfman have to say about this. Why do people waste time with so called “medicine” when Scientology can fix you permanently?

DJ AM has died

By brendon August 28, 2009 @ 8:39 PM


Adam Goldstein, more commonly known as DJ AM, was found dead this afternoon in New York City from an apparent drug overdose. He was 36-years-old.  Here’s a rough time line of the events so far:

- at around 5pm, a male friend who hadn’t been able to reach him went to AMs apartment.
- when the friend arrived, AM could be seen lying motionless on the floor.
- 911 was called at 5:23pm.
- the New York City Fire Department arrived within minutes and broke down AMs door.
- drug paraphernalia, including pipes used for smoking illegal drugs, were found around the body.
- he was pronounced dead on the scene.

Radar Online is reporting that AM was having a hard time getting off pain medication that he began taking after his near-fatal plane crash this time last year.  Although maybe more telling is that he was friends with Mary Kate Olsen.  Just like Heath Ledger.  That little goblin might be the angel of death.