Kourtney Kardashian ditched the faith healing circle around Lamar Odom to get her ass on over to Tyga’s kids birthday party where there was a ton of eligible rappers in Ferraris. There’s no shame in wanting a black dude... READ MORE

Robin Thicke dipped his wick back into the pussy pool pretty quickly after his wife ditched him for grinding the couple’s hot masseuse, which to be fair, you have to see coming. This chick graduated high school in the... READ MORE

The good news, you’re alive. The bad news, you’re still married to Khloe Kardashian and she’s gnawing the dried remains of hooker girl juice off your right thigh. Lamar Odom regained consciousness in his Vegas hospital thanks to the... READ MORE

The screaming pumpkin heads who drop big cash to see Britney Spears in Vegas don’t care that she’s just miming over pre-recorded tracks. The performance is really the moving story of how gay aliens come to earth and try... READ MORE

There’s about an eighty percent chance your high school wrestling coach is rubbing one out with your worn singlet. There’s only a one in a million chance that same towel biting biting pederast goes on to become the Speaker... READ MORE

Katherine Hegil has no tits, a weird body, and the flattest ass in Hollywood. This has made her enduringly popular for female viewers and men who like to beat off to thoughts of that guy on the swim team who... READ MORE

Khloe Kardashian and her entourage of press agents, business managers and the legally mandated guy who stands at the ready with an animal tranquilizer gun when she enters mall food courts have laid into Dennis Hof, the creepy owner... READ MORE

The word geek used to mean you were a socially awkward Princess Leia masturbating Radio Shack sales clerk. Now it means you’re a socially awkward Princess Leia masturbating mobile app developer. The income differential has allowed the geeks to... READ MORE

Koko the gorilla is just like us human beings. So they locked her in a cage filled with her own shit and forced her to learn sign language like a second class Helen Keller. After 44 years of training,... READ MORE

Nobody has considered what’s going to happen to the gaggle of enhanced chest L.A. models with insanely insecure boyfriends when suddenly Playboy stops hiring nude models. Platform sandals sales plummet, as do small group Krav Maga lessons. Disturbingly glaring... READ MORE