Chris Brown Seems Stupid High

October 14, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Chris Brown tweeted his half assed opinion that Ebola is apparently a government engineered form of population control. There was some liberty involved in that summary because it took longer to hash out than Brown’s own opinion: “I don’t know … But I think this Ebola epidemic is a form of population control. Shit is […]


Kendall Jenner Is Cruising for a Bruising

October 2, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

According to a typically spotty US Weekly report, Kendall Jenner is infatuated with Chris Brown. Jenner reportedly took a liking to him after he was released from jail for beating Rihanna. In the world of US Weekly articles written at the 8th grade level, that makes him a ‘bad boy’ and not an abusive sociopath […]


Chris Brown Seems Earnest

September 30, 2014 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Chris Brown is a known gang affiliate who probably irritates victims of gang violence yet remains conspicuously popular among the Nobody You Know demo. For whatever reason Brown has received a pass to permeate mainstream media even though he only performs at crime scenes now and nobody can name any of his songs. Its like […]


Chris Brown Leads To Bad Things

September 24, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Some totally innocent guy got stabbed at an after party where Chris Brown was performing. Cops suspect Brown’s crew of known Bloods gang members may be to blame because stabbing is listed on their profiles as their interests right after reading the Sunday paper and before hiking. Law enforcement officials have grown tired of […]


Chris Brown Still A Dick And Shit Around The Web

September 11, 2014 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Chris Brown and his entourage started a bottle throwing fight at a club because they lacked any more original ideas. Chis Brown’s like a wild dog that’s been flogged to fight and just has to be put down before anyone else gets bitten. Like in Old Yeller only no one will cry and many people […]


Suge Knight Takes All The Bullets, Chris Brown Gets None

August 25, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

According to Chris Brown’s posse and a number of really stupid hot models, a trained killer opened fire at Brown during his pre-VMA party at the 1OAK Nightclub in L.A.. Brown employed his extraordinary dancing skills to narrowly avoid the bullets which subsequently hit Suge Knight who is too fat to dance. Even though Brown escaped […]


Chris Brown Surely Loves Charity Sports Events

August 19, 2014 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Last month it was a Chris Brown celebrity kickball game with all the felonious minions and Kardashians he could gather up. Now, flag football against Puff Daddy’s son. Chris Brown is either building his curriculum vitae for a middle school P.E. teacher vacancy or he’s fulfilling the community service portion of his probation in the […]


Chris Brown’s Neighbor Seems Cool

July 30, 2014 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Chris Brown’s neighbor threatened to shoot him if he sets foot on his property. It is unclear why the guy has a problem with Brown though equally unclear why anyone would not have a problem with Brown. Chris has been throwing loud parties and some of the depraved whore guests have spilled their fake cleavage […]


Chris Brown’s Celebrity Felon Kick Ball Raises Eleven Dollars (VIDEO)

July 21, 2014 | Photos | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Only mostly everybody at Chris Brown’s Kick’N’ It for Charity Celebrity Kickball game in Glendale had rap sheets. Chris, DJ Khaled, The Game, and a few other charitable fellows famous for drugs and beating women showed up for a cause nobody could actually name. Paris Hilton’s jail house record got her into the match where […]


Chris Brown Violates Parole via Instagram

July 10, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Chris Brown posted a photo to Instagram again confirming his gang affiliation with the Bloods. Even though Brown is happy to be allowed shoelaces again, the point of this photo was in the caption which read: “It’s bool! I stand on my own two feet when life gets brazy!” Bloods like to replace the letter […]