Chris Brown Gets His Dick Back

January 16, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Porn star Kagney Linn Karter, potentially not her Christian name, claims Chris Brown bullied her after he paid for her company but she refused to let him invade her privates. There was apparently some confusion over exactly what ‘I will... READ MORE

Chris Brown Dumb Down His Lambo

November 19, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Chris Brown hired some guy to paint a bunch of illegible Sanskrit looking letters on his Lamborghini. The text is supposedly the lyrics to a Tupac song though they could also read, Chris Brown is a pussy tool who takes numerous... READ MORE

Chris Brown Seems Stupid High

October 14, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Chris Brown tweeted his half assed opinion that Ebola is apparently a government engineered form of population control. There was some liberty involved in that summary because it took longer to hash out than Brown’s own opinion: “I don’t... READ MORE

Kendall Jenner Is Cruising for a Bruising

October 2, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

According to a typically spotty US Weekly report, Kendall Jenner is infatuated with Chris Brown. Jenner reportedly took a liking to him after he was released from jail for beating Rihanna. In the world of US Weekly articles written... READ MORE

Chris Brown Seems Earnest

September 30, 2014 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Chris Brown is a known gang affiliate who probably irritates victims of gang violence yet remains conspicuously popular among the Nobody You Know demo. For whatever reason Brown has received a pass to permeate mainstream media even though he... READ MORE

Chris Brown Leads To Bad Things

September 24, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Some totally innocent guy got stabbed at an after party where Chris Brown was performing. Cops suspect Brown’s crew of known Bloods gang members may be to blame because stabbing is listed on their Match.com profiles as their interests... READ MORE

Chris Brown Still A Dick And Shit Around The Web

September 11, 2014 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Chris Brown and his entourage started a bottle throwing fight at a club because they lacked any more original ideas. Chis Brown’s like a wild dog that’s been flogged to fight and just has to be put down before... READ MORE

Suge Knight Takes All The Bullets, Chris Brown Gets None

August 25, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

According to Chris Brown’s posse and a number of really stupid hot models, a trained killer opened fire at Brown during his pre-VMA party at the 1OAK Nightclub in L.A.. Brown employed his extraordinary dancing skills to narrowly avoid the... READ MORE

Chris Brown Surely Loves Charity Sports Events

August 19, 2014 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Last month it was a Chris Brown celebrity kickball game with all the felonious minions and Kardashians he could gather up. Now, flag football against Puff Daddy’s son. Chris Brown is either building his curriculum vitae for a middle... READ MORE

Chris Brown’s Neighbor Seems Cool

July 30, 2014 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Chris Brown’s neighbor threatened to shoot him if he sets foot on his property. It is unclear why the guy has a problem with Brown though equally unclear why anyone would not have a problem with Brown. Chris has... READ MORE