Chris Brown's Celebrity Felon Kick Ball Raises Eleven Dollars (VIDEO)

Only mostly everybody at Chris Brown's Kick'N' It for Charity Celebrity Kickball game in Glendale had rap sheets. Chris, DJ Khaled, The Game, and a few other charitable fellows famous for drugs and beating women showed up for a cause nobody could actually name. Paris Hilton's jail house record got her into the match where she showed that one lazy eye and nonchalance is all it takes to not be able to kick a slow moving...read more

Chris Brown Violates Parole via Instagram

Chris Brown posted a photo to Instagram again confirming his gang affiliation with the Bloods. Even though Brown is happy to be allowed shoelaces again, the point of this photo was in the caption which read: "It's bool! I stand on my own two feet when life gets brazy!" Bloods like to replace the letter B in words that start with C because they have the intellectual capacity of schoolgirls and pig Latin proved too...read more

Chris Brown and Karrueche Tran Split Over Ass Pic

In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. That's Karrueche Tran quoting Buddha on social media. Most girls who date Chris Brown take the ancient communal meditations strong to their heart. They help to soothe the swelling from the punches. According to RadarOnline, the couple just broke up again after Chris posted a...read more

Chris Brown BET Wasted And Shit Around The Web

Chris Brown was so drunk after the BET Awards after-party his posse had to carry him back to his lambo where his girlfriend awaited to usher him away. Somebody remarked about what an asshole Chris Brown had become while another bystander corrected the first on his use of the present perfect tense. Read all about Chris Brown's latest bad decision. (Defamer) Megan Fox looks kind of funny. (Drunken Stepfather) Anais...read more

Chris Brown Figured Something Out

Chris Brownthrew a party for himself because he felt he deserved a little love for his tireless work being prison overcrowded out of jail. His party was packed with more porn stars than a mobile HIV station on the first of January. If there's one thing Chris Brown learned in the slammer, besides not choosing the bedsheets with the mysterious bloody holes in the middle, it was that porn stars tell no tales. Chris has...read more

Chris Brown Has the Best 'Out of Jail' Parties

Can't blame Chris Brown for feeling a little nervous when he's blindfolded and told he's been taken off to an exciting surprise. Just a couple week's ago at the L.A. County Men's Central Jail, that meant something completely different. But his new old former ex-girlfriend Karrueche Tran had something more fun than prison block gang sodomy planned. A BBQ. A big old fun BBQ with all of Chris' dear friends and paid...read more

Chris Brown Screws White Woman From Inside Prison! You Won't Believe What Happens Next

From deep inside his prison walls, Chris Brown faked out a bunch of girls to come into a casting call for his new modeling agency, Legendary Faces. And, yes, Chris Brown owns a. modeling agency. I think he started it during rehab as a positive outlet for his repressed rage against his mother. Within the confines of the modeling agency, he can beat and degrade women and it all falls within modeling agency norms. ...read more

Chris Brown To Fly Con Air

Chris Brown is going to have to take a coach seat on con air for his trial in Washington DC. The U.S. attorneys don't trust the lady beating douchenozzle to get on a plane on his own and not skip the country. So, the prosecution wants his ass shackled and put on a prison transport plane from LA to DC, just like in the awesomely shitty Jerry Bruckheimer flick Con Air. Right now he's in trouble in LA for parole...read more

Drake Is Officially Plowing Rihanna

Canadian chode Drake is now officially and exclusively dating Rihanna. The two annoying superstars have been rumored to be hooking up for a while. This has reportedly caused tension between Drake and Rihanna's former lover, Chris Brown, who thinks he still owns Rihanna because you can still see his knuckle prints in her face. Rihanna really likes Drake because he's quite and about as exciting as mold growing on a...read more

Chris Brown Hauled Back to Jail, Was He Ever Even In Jail?

Chris Brown got thrown out of rehab. Again. You'd have to think Anger Rehab has a pretty high rate of rule breakers, and Chris is one of them. He got tossed out of the last place for throwing a rock at his mom's car when she came to visit. Crazy little scamp. And now he's been booted again. Apparently it's not for drugs or violence or even having sexual relations with one of the staff members at rehab, which he did....read more

Chris Brown's Temper Abides

Musical prodigyChris Brown has been ordered to stay in anger management rehab for another two months. The judge thinks that Chris is still too much like a teen girl on her first period to be released into the free world. Brown affected meditation during the hearing so he'd look all zen and shit for the judge. His honor wasn't buying the yogi routine. Brown is going to stay in the facility until April when he goes on...read more

Chris Brown Isn't Going To Jail...Again

Chris Brown has his ass saved from prison lights out penetration once again after a judge dismissed a motion to take him out of rehab to serve time in prison. The screechy chick beating douche is currently serving a 90 day stint in rehab and anger management after beating up a guy in Washington, D.C.. This violated the terms of his probation for having kicked the living dog shit out of Rihanna's face. Prosecutors...read more

Chris Brown Ruined New Year's From Rehab

The staff at Malibu Anger Rehab allows in-patients a half-hour on the villa's front lawn each day to recreate as they please. Most end up gnawing viciously on the grass and cursing out their whore-bitch of a mother cunt, Chris Brown let his girlfriend chew on his tongue for a New Year's photo. Chris told Karrueche Tran to keep on biting until the flood of memories of his childhood rapes had all passed before his eyes....read more

Chris Brown Is All Better Now

When the majority of people in America and maybe even around the world think that you're a colossal asshole, it's generally going to take a lot of PR spin and goodwill to change those minds. But now that Chris Brown has been ordered by a judge to work on his anger management and he's done with his incredibly short stint in rehab, the singer that once tried to punch Rihanna's head off of her body showed that he's all...read more

Michael Buble is Not So Good at Telling Jokes

I was going to ask who the fuck watches the Michael Buble Christmas Special, now in its third year of providing banal entertainment to the elderly and infirmed (I guess I just answered my own question). The better question is who writes the monologue he has to uncomfortably deliver at the beginning of the show? Buble kicked off his special with the following ha-ha about advice from fellow musicians on how to make his...read more