Chris Brown Hamstrung

July 23, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Chris Brown has hired armed guards to protect his home from the Bloods he calls his friends who robbed his house after texting him to ask where he was at. Pictured above is his closet, proving he has a... READ MORE

Chris Brown’s House Robbed

July 16, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Chris Brown’s house was robbed while he was at an ESPY party paying tribute to Caitlyn Jenner’s bronzed penis. The armed men forced themselves in and made Brown’s aunt wait in the closet where he keeps his stash of alt porn. They stole... READ MORE

Chris Brown Loves to Fight the Ladies and Shit Around the Web

June 5, 2015 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

If you’re an ex-con based on beating your girlfriend, you should probably just stick to paid company moving forward. You definitely should not be out drinking with another ex-girlfriend looking for round two. You’re not Mayweather. You’re not getting... READ MORE

Karrueche Tran Tempts Fate

May 28, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Karrueche Tran has been feuding on Instagram with her ex-boyfriend Chris Brown because Brown is super tough on the Internet and his emojis elicit high fives from his gang banger buddies. Tran inserted model Tyson Beckford onto her page to use... READ MORE

Chris Brown Attracts Winners

May 8, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Chris Brown returned to his home in Los Angeles from Vegas to find this 21 year old chick sleeping in his bed. Normally I’d say go for a quickie and send Goldilocks packing with a free iPod shuffle. A... READ MORE

Chris Brown Tries Beating Up A Dude

May 5, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Chris Brown got in a fight in Vegas while playing basketball in his hotel suite with some dude he most likely hired from the Washington Generals’ minor league affiliate. Brown recently got off probation for beating the ever loving shit... READ MORE

Chris Brown Blocks Chrissy Teigen On Twitter

March 7, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

That uneasy feeling you get when you realize Chris Brown has shut you out of his life. There’s really no preparing for it. It hits you like a dirty hand of hot Chinese mustard to the lachrymal gland. You’ll... READ MORE

Chris Brown’s Stupid Baby Name And Shit Around The Web

March 6, 2015 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Chris Brown named his new bastard baby, Royalty. It’s a nice play on words given her regal breeding and the fact that she’ll someday be utilizing her bio dad’s music royalties to pay for her court ordered rehab. I’m... READ MORE

Chris Brown Has A Child, Karrueche Bails

March 4, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Breaking the news to your long time girlfriend that you’ve been declared dad to some other chick’s new baby is no simple task. You’re going to want to find a nice public spot and make sure she’s sober. Also,... READ MORE

Chris Brown Might Be Going To Jail And Shit Around The Web

January 17, 2015 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Chris Brown might be someone’s girlfriend soon as a judge just revoked his probation. The dumbass girl beater traveled out of the country and didn’t finish his community service. He better stop washing his ass now because they are... READ MORE