Chris Brown Trouble With Them Bitches Again

By Lex January 04, 2016 @ 10:34 AM


Chris Brown either punched a woman in the face again or thought about it. A chick at Brown’s New Year’s Eve private afterparty at the Palms Hotel in Vegas claims Brown yelled at her to not film him performing on the cell she wasn’t supposed to have, and subsequently injured her while confiscating her phone. That actually doesn’t sound like a crime.

The alleged victim, Liziane Gutierrez, asked to have her named used as she tried desperately to sell her story to the tabloids but without the footage was left with the only recourse of calling the cops. They beat her too, or they thought about it. Brown was eventually written up for possible battery and theft of a gold digging device, but he’d already fled before the cops arrived because this isn’t his first assault rodeo. Get him to the chopper!

If you’re going to set up rules for probation like you can’t punch any more chicks, you might as well establish that you can’t host late night scheming hooker parties in Vegas. One is going to bleed into the other. This shit doesn’t happen in Ames after a Ted Cruz rally.

Photo credit: Getty Images

Chris Brown Drinks Too Much Cough Syrup And Shit Around The Web

By Michael November 03, 2015 @ 12:00 PM


Girl beater and general douchebag Chris Brown has apparently gotten quite a sizzurp habit. I’ve never understood what’s gangsta about drinking cough syrup. That’s like when I was 8 and I’d sneak sips of Dimatap and I ain’t hood at all.

But then who said Chris Brown was gangsta? (TMZ)

Sylvie Meis wears lingerie because it’s her fucking job. (Last Men On Earth)

Marisa Papen bears it all in gym shorts for C-Heads Magazine. (Egotastic All-Stars)

Charlotte McKinney shows off her ass in GQ. And her tits. (Drunken Stepfather)

Girls releasing their boobs out into the fresh air. (The Chive)

Bella Thorne’s legs and tits make me drool. (Popoholic)

Lindsey Pelas and her sweater hams go to the beach. (The Superficial)

Chris Brown Not Welcome Down Under And Shit Around The Web

By Michael September 24, 2015 @ 12:00 PM


Australia has become the latest country that doesn’t want to let in Chris Brown anymore. They beat their own women just fine after a six pack of Fosters.

Read all about Chris’ latest travel woes. (Dlisted)

Nicki Minaj wears next to nothing in GQ. (Last Men On Earth)

Mindy Robinson and Vanessa Branch are topless in “Road Hard”. (Egotastic All-Stars)

Tyga is calling barely Legal Kylie Jenner his fiancee. (TMZ)

That Holland Roden chick from “Teen Wolf” sports a sexy bikini. (Drunken Stepfather)

The entire cast of “Scream Queens” is highly fuckable. (COED)

Bras are for suckas. (The Chive)

Nick Cannon Renaissance Man

By Matt August 27, 2015 @ 7:39 AM


Nick Cannon posted an Instagram shot of his shoe closet in response to Chris Brown having shown off his super interesting closet weeks prior. This is like an old fashioned duel, if the guys were pansies more into fashion than pistols. Dudes used to care about whiskey and pussy. Now it’s lining up shoes like you’re one of those dull kids who obsesses over his toys and nobody wants to play with. Sounds like an apt description.

“@chrisbrownofficial I got stairs and ladders too! LOL! #LACloset BTW my people I’m NOT showing off or bragging by any means, but I have to show young @chrisbrownofficial a lil Sumpn’ real quick.”

When Chris Brown is 37 and laying on his death bed, he’ll probably realize there’s a lot more to life than procuring shoes and bragging about your shoes. For Cannon this is most likely a phase and part of his hinting at finally coming out of the closet, where he ironically spends so much time. Take your Mariah settlement money and become a woman. Better selection in footwear.

Photo Credit: Instagram 

Two-Faced Chris Brown And Shit Around The Web

By Michael August 25, 2015 @ 10:00 AM


Woman beater Chris Brown got a tattoo on his head of an ancient Greek statue for some reason. I hope he doesn’t get mad at the woman on his head and beat the shit out of her.

See his latest stupid tattoo. (TMZ)

Costa Rican señorita Juliana Herz shows off her chichis. (Egotastic All-Stars)

The USC Song Girls get wet. (Busted Coverage)

Holy shit, Miranda Kerr’s legs are amazing. (Drunken Stepfather)

Tyga really likes fucking recently legal Kylie Jenner. (Dlisted)

Xenia Deli in bikinis and lingerie will make your mouth water. (COED)

Nicole Scherzinger takes off her top. You don’t want tan lines, after all. (Popoholic)

Chris Brown Held Hostage, Day Who Gives a Fuck

By Lex July 24, 2015 @ 8:49 AM


The Philippines are holding Chris Brown in lock down in Manilla because he fucked over a powerful church group by ditching out on a planned concert this past New Year’s Eve. According to the Church and Christ group, they fronted Brown one million clams and Brown stiffed them with some lame excuse and I guess forgot to return the cash. When Chris Brown showed up on Tuesday to perform in Manilla, the local authorities informed him he wasn’t going anywhere until he dealt with defrauding tons of distraught Pacquiaos on New Years.

Chris Brown has taken to Instagram beseeching his fans and Obama to help him get the fuck out of the Philippines, asking what it is he needs to do in order to leave. I’m guessing the answer to that is around one million dollars. Plus maybe a half dozen ’03 Corollas with red bows. If Brown hadn’t blown off his street gang cohorts for robbing his house, they’d probably be building a Kon Tiki raft right now to go rescue his ass. Once you view this not as Brown being held in the Philippines, but Brown being kept away from the U.S, you start to understand why nobody is moving quickly to help out. Stay strong, Chris. Maybe buy a house and start planting some cane. The rescue of guys who beat women needs to be carefully planned.

Photo credit: Chris Brown/Instagram