Chris Brown Caught Monkeying Around

January 4, 2019 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Chris Brown is the gluten-free version of Michael Jackson. MJ legacy lite has just gotten himself into some hot water with the law once again. Fortunately, officials reassured everyone that no women were harmed in the making of more... READ MORE

It’s A Wrap For Snapchat; Thanks Rihanna

March 19, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Talk about tone deaf. The same individual who rewatches Ray Rice’s one hitter quitter elevator video while eating popcorn without wincing is responsible for green-lighting the advertisements seen on your Snapchat. An ad asked users would they rather slap... READ MORE

Everybody Hates Chris

March 15, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Chris Brown still doesn’t understand women or his purpose as a celebrity. If there’s a burning desire in his heart to beat women he has to go under the knife first like MMA fighter Fallon Fox. A man must... READ MORE

Chris Brown Wants To Test Drive JLo

November 1, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Chris Brown will have to wait in line like everyone else fantasizing about boning JLo. She’s hot and she’s aging well, but I’m pretty sure the thought of a potential black eye after an outburst doesn’t make her wet.


Chris Brown Opens Up About Beating

August 18, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Domestic violence is never okay. In an obvious PR move, Chris made a documentary opening up about the beating to clear his name. Sort of. 


Karrueche Tran Wins 5-Year Restraining Order Against Chris Brown

June 16, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The only time to side with a gold digging second tier model like Karrueche Tran is when she falls into the sphere of tiny angry Chris Brown and his gun toting Lost Boys. You got yourself into this mess,... READ MORE

Karrueche Tran Shocked Chris Brown Likes To Hit Women

February 24, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Every time you live stream yourself wing suit leaping off the Alps, you run the risk of being that dude whose death makes for excellent YouTube fodder. Every time you date Chris Brown, you're going to get your ass beat.


Chris Brown Still Impossibly Not Incarcerated

January 9, 2017 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Do not get into a road rage accident with Chris Brown, because he will shoot you and smoke crack on your corpse. There's a myth that being tough is actually centered on fighting ability. 99 percent of it is... READ MORE

Chris Brown Accuser Spelled Out Her Plan

September 2, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Chris Brown's greasy lawyer Mark Geragos is reportedly in possession of a text message from Baylee Curran where she incriminates herself almost too perfectly. The text was reportedly sent from her phone just after she left Brown's coke den... READ MORE

Chris Brown Defenders Lining Up Against the Bitch Who Set Him Up

September 1, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

From the moment word went out that some bitch set up Chris Brown on weapons charges, the Chris Brown army of defenders snapped into action. Those defenders being primarily women who wish Brown had punched them in the maw... READ MORE