Chris Brown Wants To Test Drive JLo

November 1, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Chris Brown will have to wait in line like everyone else fantasizing about boning JLo. She’s hot and she’s aging well, but I’m pretty sure the thought of a potential black eye after an outburst doesn’t make her wet.


Chris Brown Opens Up About Beating

August 18, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Domestic violence is never okay. In an obvious PR move, Chris made a documentary opening up about the beating to clear his name. Sort of. 


Karrueche Tran Wins 5-Year Restraining Order Against Chris Brown

June 16, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The only time to side with a gold digging second tier model like Karrueche Tran is when she falls into the sphere of tiny angry Chris Brown and his gun toting Lost Boys. You got yourself into this mess, now the grownups need to get you out. 


Karrueche Tran Shocked Chris Brown Likes To Hit Women

February 24, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Every time you live stream yourself wing suit leaping off the Alps, you run the risk of being that dude whose death makes for excellent YouTube fodder. Every time you date Chris Brown, you’re going to get your ass beat.


Chris Brown Still Impossibly Not Incarcerated

January 9, 2017 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Do not get into a road rage accident with Chris Brown, because he will shoot you and smoke crack on your corpse. There’s a myth that being tough is actually centered on fighting ability. 99 percent of it is just being willing to mix it up and go to jail.


Chris Brown Accuser Spelled Out Her Plan

September 2, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Chris Brown’s greasy lawyer Mark Geragos is reportedly in possession of a text message from Baylee Curran where she incriminates herself almost too perfectly. The text was reportedly sent from her phone just after she left Brown’s coke den where his kid lives.


Chris Brown Defenders Lining Up Against the Bitch Who Set Him Up

September 1, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

From the moment word went out that some bitch set up Chris Brown on weapons charges, the Chris Brown army of defenders snapped into action. Those defenders being primarily women who wish Brown had punched them in the maw instead of that stupid whore Rihanna. That’s embarrassing to admit out loud, but it’s the underlying motivation of those fully behind Brown as a misunderstand savant. Also super damn h


Chris Brown To Be Arrested

August 31, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Chris Brown is set to be arrested by L.A.P.D. Spin the Chris Brown roulette wheel of tiny nimble criminal complaints for the charges.


Chris Brown Dropped By Publicist

June 29, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Aside from being sued by his former manager Chris Brown is keeping his death pool stock strong and was just fired by his publicist Nicole Perna who is slightly below Brown on the morality scale. The trouble started when Brown was born and flared up this week over a text message.


Suge Knight Sues Chris Brown

June 28, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Suge Knight is a real pin cushion of bullet holes. He is suing Chris Brown and Zika ridden 1Oak from behind bars because they didn’t have adequate security during a Chris Brown party where Knight was shot up for the third time that week. Security Guard rule #1, don’t let Suge Knight in the building. Failing that, someone’s getting shot.