Charlie Sheen's Sobriety Seems Like a Blast

Here's a completely shit-faced Charlie Sheen after a Guns N' Roses concert Friday night in LA. In case you somehow managed to miss his infamous public meltdown and subsequent bullshit claim of sobriety, we've come full cirlce. While I'm not stupid enough to have any delusions that this guy ever stopped funneling drugs and booze into his face like a weak-ass Tony Montana without all of the machine-gunning and incest,...read more

Justin Bieber Still Has a Lot to Learn About Swagger

Justin Bieber and his former swagger coach (yes I want to kill myself for typing that), Ryan Good, decided to visit their respective girlfriends, Selena Gomez and Ashley Benson while they shoot 'Spring Breakers' in Florida. Last fall, quivering 13 year olds all over the internet frantically reported that Ryan Good would move on to pursue his dreams and would no longer coach Justin Bieber on important things like how...read more

Lisa Marie Presley is a drunk

Lisa Marie Presley landed in a heap on the stairs to her London hotel, but to be fair, she was incredibly drunk. Based on my experience with dozens of stoned suburban white girls, it's safe to say they're not natural climbers. I have one of those Scooby Doo levers that turns my stairs into a slide anyway, to make sure they can't get out, but I don't need it to be honest. It's fun though. You should see how surprised...read more

Good riddance jackass

Oh holy crap finally. Finally, finally, Paula Abduls dumb ass is off "American Idol", saying on her twitter page 11 hours ago: With sadness in my heart, I've decided not to return to Idol. I'll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all I'll miss being a part of a show that I helped from day 1 become an international phenomenon. There is so much wrong with the second half of that statement I don't even know...read more

Jessica Simpson is drunk, awesome

Jessica Simpson got lit Saturday night at Katsuya in LA, and even had to be helped to the car by her sister Ashlee. She's back to being super super hot now, but might have been drinking because Tony Romo broke up with her two weeks ago. She should be proud of him. I think it was really courageous of him to come out of the closet like that. He's a gay quarterback, and that's cool with me, but it's pretty much daring...read more

Brad Pitt knows how to party

The Quentin Tarantino / Brad Pitt WWII movie "Inglourious Basterds" had it's Berlin premiere yesterday, and that's not just an unfortunate picture of Pitt at the after-party up top. OK! says he and beer were there until around 2am. Your liver turns black if you drink too much. Maybe if he keeps going Angelina will adopt it. (hq jump here. source = wenn)read more

Lady GaGa is a drunk

Lady Gaga had a concert in Hamburg Germany last night, and according to the picture source she was "very drunk" and "wearing a dress which looks like lingerie." Probably because it is lingerie. It confirms what many of us already knew. Rock and roll is the front door to drinking and sex! (hq jump here. source = flynet)read more

Avril Lavigne looks like fun

I don't know what the hell the VIP Lounge in St. Tropez is, but I doubt Avril Lavigne does either because she was drunk off her ass there last night. The bad news for her husband (not pictured) is that a bunch of dudes were pouring drinks down her throat all night. The good news is they were probably no threat, because this guy holds his cigarettes like a woman. He also looks completely darling when he holds his glass...read more