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Joan Rivers Doc Took a Selfie While She Lay Unconscious

America's obsession with social media vanity has now murdered our nation's fourth finest octogenarian female comic. It was only a matter of time before selfies went from being super obvious ego stroking visuals to pathological killers. According to CNN, which somebody watched once a decade ago, Joan Rivers doctor took a selfie in the procedure room while Joan was under sedation, just prior to the unauthorized biopsy...read more

Joan Rivers Officially Dies

If you'd asked me just a week ago which member of the Fashion Police panel would've gone first, I would've picked the anorexic with the killer tan. She looks like she hasn't had a decent meal since the last Pope. My second choice would've been Kelly Osbourne. She does more booze and drugs in one evening than most people do in four years of college. State party schools excepted, naturally. I don't know the name of the...read more

Joan Rivers Is Dead, Or Not

In a battle of veracity between TMZ and social media hoaxers, there's no clear way to pick the more reliable source. TMZ has a reporting accuracy of 12-percent, while people making up shit on Twitter sit at zero-percent, though far more self-aware and entertaining. Joan Rivers went into cardiac arrest during what is being described as out-patient throat surgery this morning. I'll take that to mean tightening the...read more

Joan Rivers Just Won't Go Away

Joan Rivers threw out some incendiary comments regarding the Gaza conflict but nobody really cared because everybody knows she's creepy old and desperate for attention. Rivers is turning into the grandma who drops an N Bomb and everyone shrugs and walks into the kitchen for more iced tea because you don't suddenly stop with the N Bombs at 85.Rivers has consistently been fishing for headlines by shouting fucked up...read more

Joan Rivers Isn't Sorry About Her Bad Jokes (VIDEO)

Ancient comedienne Joan Rivers and her talentless daughter Melissa have apparently had a reality show on the WE network for several years now, and it reveals how zany and bizarre their life is together, as they continue to be the only people who can stand them. They were on the Today Show this week to promote the series, and while describing a scene in which Joan is tearing down a wall in their home, she explained...read more

Joan Rivers Calls Lena Dunham A Dangerous Diabetes Causing Fatty

Pickled fashion crone Joan Rivers attacked Lena Dunham's weight and the message her fat ass sends to girls. It all started when the legendary comedian took time away from luring kids into her gingerbread house oven to go on The Howard Stern Show. The topic of Dunham came up and the dress she wore to a recent event that showed off some tight cellulite above the knee. Rivers took umbrage to this and said that it sends...read more

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The Kardashians Are Pissed About This Stupid Sex Tape Spoof (VIDEO)

Joan Rivers enlisted Ray J's help to make a spoof of Kim Kardashian's sex tape, because it's not like he has anything better to do than to continue sucking the dust out of the corpse of the one thing that made him famous seven years ago. But even though it was that sex tape that made the Kardashians stars in the first place, TMZ thinks that all of them are still furious whenever people bring it up, and that's why...read more

Joan Rivers Brow Shames North West

Hollywood crypt keeper Joan Rivers aimed her millennia old venom at Kim and Kanye's demon spawn North West. It all went down on an episode of Rivers' horrifically terrible Fashion Police show. The subject of the Kardashian/West womb weasel came up and the ever controversial Rivers commented on North's unibrow. She said, "That baby is ugly … I've never seen a 6-month-old so desperately in need of a waxing" Normally I...read more

Joan Rivers Calls Jennifer Lawrence On Her Shit

Joan Rivers is calling out Jennifer Lawrence for saying that the old crone is a bad influenece on girls. Katniss told Barbara Walters that she thinks shows like Rivers' Fashion Police tell the youngin's that it's OK to ridicule the way people look. Lawrence has told anyone who'll listen that she hates the Hollywood culture of Photoshopping and crash dieting. Rivers isn't buying it. she thinks that it's all an act...read more

Kris Jenner And Joan Rivers Milked Cows (VIDEO)

If you're the kind of guy (or girl, we don't discriminate) that likes to watch two grandmothers wrap their veiny, wrinkled claws around the teats of two terrified cows and cackle about how disgusting it is, despite the fact that hard-working Americans still wake up and milk cows every day, then Kris Jenner has the talk show for you. Elderly comic and Dick Tracy villain Joan Rivers stopped by The Kris Jenner Show...read more

The Palins And The Rivers To Fuck Up Each Other's Kids on ABC

Bristol Palin and her bitchy little sister Willow are switching homes with Joan Rivers and Melissa Rivers on the season premiere of Celebrity Wife Swap, you know, despite the fact none of these four women are actually wives.They're going to take care of each other's offspring for a week. How does child protective services not get involved in this shit? These abandoned traumatized kids in the public spotlight now have...read more

will.i.am Has Justin Bieber's Back

Pop star Justin Bieber took a lot of shit from people last week after he visited the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam and signed the guestbook with a note about how he hoped the teenage Holocaust victim would have been a "Belieber". While people took offense to the comment, calling the 19-year old and his fans ignorant and misguided, there are at least two celebrities who are defending Bieber. First, Joan Rivers told TMZ...read more

Joan Rivers Compared Heidi Klum To The Holocaust

Nobody gave a crap that supermodel Heidi Klum had allegedly been cheating on Seal, her husband of seven years, with her bodyguard and current boyfriend, because she's 39-years old and still looks better than 99% of the women on this planet. And her vagina might as well be the gates to Heaven, because Seal only just started dating again and his new girlfriend is so average that nobody gives a crap who she is or what...read more

Joan Rivers knows how to party

This is news to me but apparently Joan Rivers has a TV show on WE, and also there's a channel named WE, and on last nights episode Joan was nervous about meeting her daughters boyfriend. So she got together with a friend. And they got stoned as fuck. The Daily Mail says... (Joan) calls her friend Lynne who tells her she can get her something that will calm her down. The pair visit a medical marijuana doctor for a...read more