Jon Hamm might be a huge star who walks around in no underwear with his dick flapping in the breeze, but he’s still really no different than the rest of guys in Hollywood, having done stupid, random work before he made it big. A new clip of Jon at age 25 on a terrible dating game show called The Big Date has emerged, and it’s about as awkward and terrible as you’d expect from a totally shitty and stereotypical dating game show. The biggest disappointment about this clip isn’t Jon’s hilariously bad 90s hair or Marc bragging about his stuntman flexibility like he can suck his own dick, but it’s the fact that Jon didn’t just whip his dick out and walk off with the girl. Dating games shouldn’t be complicated. The three guys should measure, and the two losers should be booed and laughed at for the remaining 21 minutes of the show.
Mad Men star Jon Hamm, seen above at the Season 6 premiere with his harem, has been pretty pissed off lately that people can’t seem to stop talking about his dick. It’s not like he’s furious that people are obsessed with his large member, but he thinks it’s an invasion of privacy because when he became an actor, he didn’t sign on for this. Because if there’s one thing that guys just can’t stand, it’s women wanting to impale themselves on their flesh swords.
There’s one guy out there who gets what Hamm is going through, and that is Jonah Falcon, who claims to have the world’s largest penis at 13.5-inches. Somewhere a black guy is laughing.
“I’m willing to bet his problem is his balls,” Falcon told The Huffington Post. “Balls cause the most bulges. His penis is not going down his pant leg like mine.”
Falcon has been known to wear bicycle shorts to accentuate the goods, but other times he takes pains to distract attention from his crotch by keeping his wallet, keys and other objects in his pockets.
“I prefer constriction myself,” Falcon said. “As you get older, your balls drop and need support. If it’s his penis that’s causing the problem, he can point it up like European men.” (Huffington Post)
Falcon obviously hasn’t seen the infamous picture, because the problem isn’t Hamm’s balls. If anything, it’s the thin material of his pants. He should try wearing something a little thicker, like six pairs.
Who cares what the man with the world’s largest dick thinks, though? I’d rather hear from the woman with the world’s largest unnatural breasts, Chelsea Charms. And by hear from her, I mean I want to stare at her gigantic breasts.
(Photo Credit: Getty)
For last nights live episode of ’30 Rock’, the cast performed the show twice (once for the east coast and once for the west) and one of the biggest differences (here’s 25 more) was right at the beginning, when Jack McBrayer led a guest into Alec Baldwins office. For the east coast, the guest was Paul McCartney. For the west, it was Kim Kardashian. Which seems like an overly complicated way of telling the west coast to go fuck itself.
Luckily one thing that stayed the same was Jon Hamm as Tracy Morgans brother in a 60’s sitcom called ‘Abner and Alfie’. Which looks like it would be a really good show. That ol’ Abner is all gettin into monkeyshines!
Jon Hamm told Elle UK last week that Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are “fucking idiots”, and he did that because Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are fucking idiots. Specifically, he said:
“Whether it’s Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian or whoever, stupidity is certainly celebrated. Being a fucking idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you’re rewarded significantly.”
Once she heard abut this, and then had someone explain it, Kardashian wrote a reply on twitter, where she has over 14,000,000 followers because what Hamm said was 100 percent correct.
“We’re all working hard and we all have to respect one another. Calling someone who runs their own businesses, is a part of a successful TV show, produces, writes, designs, and creates, ‘stupid,’ is in my opinion careless.”
So this morning Matt Lauer gave Hamm a chance to explain his comments, and instead of apologizing like most Hollywood pussies would have done, he awesomely held his ground.
“I don’t think they were careless; I think they were accurate. It’s a part of our culture that I certainly don’t identify with, and I don’t really understand the appeal of it other than in a sort of car crash sensibility, and it’s not something that I partake in or enjoy, but it is what it is, and here we are.”
So far Kim has yet to reply to this, more than likely because she can’t tell if what he said was good or bad.
Jon Hamm has joined the league of legitimate celebrities calling for the immediate death of all Kardashians which is no way a fictional group that I attempt to pray into existence daily. He did, however, say the exact same thing anyone with a functioning brain says about Kim. From ‘Elle UK’ via Huffpost Celebrity:
Whether it’s Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian or whoever, stupidity is certainly celebrated. Being a f**king idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you’re rewarded significantly.
To which Kim burned a valuable otherwise tit-filled tweet in response:
I just heard about the comment Jon Hamm made about me in an interview. I respect Jon and I am a firm believer that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and that not everyone takes the same path in life. We’re all working hard and we all have to respect one another. Calling someone who runs their own businesses, is a part of a successful TV show, produces, writes, designs, and creates, ‘stupid,’ is in my opinion careless.
BAM! Suck on that, Jon Hamm! There’s no greater comeback than telling someone to watch their mouth when they basically call your life worthless. You could interpret it as her inability to come up with a response that would evoke a shred of intellect like “At least I don’t star in a show that glamorizes the subjugation of women and minorities,” but I’m sure she was just trying to be the better person and take the high road.
(Image Source = Getty)