Selena Gomez says kissing Justin Bieber is humiliating

By brendon April 20, 2012 @ 7:01 PM

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber were at the Lakers-Spurs game in LA on Tuesday night, and this morning on Ryan Seacrests radio show (audio here) she was asked about being shown on the Staples Center “kiss-cam”. I’m assuming it did not go as Justin Bieber would have liked.

“That was probably the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me. Probably.”
“I thought those were funny, and they were doing, like, these little elderly couples and it was so cute, and then all of a sudden we were both looking up and then we come on and it’s like, oh, so awkward. It was so weird.”

Well of course she feels that way. She’s 19. Every other girl her age has already figured out that Justin Bieber is a little douche. Just admitting that you like him is humiliating enough. Actually having to kiss him in public would be an unthinkable disgrace. Even those guys who fuck their cars must look at her with a disgusted pity.

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Tags: justin bieber, selena gomez |

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Justin Bieber is really cool, totally not a douche

By brendon April 18, 2012 @ 5:30 PM

Selena Gomez dropped Justin Bieber off this morning on her way to the Jimmy Kimmel show studio, and if you still don’t understand what a cool badass he is, maybe you didn’t see his jeans. See how low he wears them? This guy doesn’t play by the rules. Unless the rules are to copy black kids from 2010, in which case, yes, he plays by them to the letter.

(image source = fame/flynet)

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Tags: justin bieber |

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Justin Bieber Still Has a Lot to Learn About Swagger

By author March 12, 2012 @ 2:30 PM

Justin Bieber and his former swagger coach (yes I want to kill myself for typing that), Ryan Good, decided to visit their respective girlfriends, Selena Gomez and Ashley Benson while they shoot ‘Spring Breakers’ in Florida. Last fall, quivering 13 year olds all over the internet frantically reported that Ryan Good would move on to pursue his dreams and would no longer coach Justin Bieber on important things like how to layer his clothing. Turns out that dream included taking some underage kids to a bar, getting embarrassedly shit-faced, and being asked to leave halfway through his meal which he continued to eat on his way out the door. Reach for the stars, kids!

More to the point, what a missed opportunity for Justin to show his former teacher that he’s mastered the swag. Instead of turning beet red and covering his face while fleeing, he should have downed half a pina colada and slurred to Selena “Sirriusly gurl, I’mma murry you and have your babi–BLARGH!”

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(Image Source = Fame/Flynet)

Tags: ashley benson, drunk, justin bieber, ryan good, selena gomez |

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Justin Bieber is rad to the max

By brendon February 06, 2012 @ 2:50 PM

Justin Bieber was in Miami this weekend, thankfully recording his amazing new album “Believe”, when he reminded everyone that he’s not just an incredible singer, dancer, and pussy magnet, but a next-level athlete as well.

On a custom skateboard ramp outside the studio, Justin soared above the clouds, and unlike other so-called “extreme” athletes, Justin doesn’t need helmets or pads. “Those are for scared bitches like Shaun White,” Justin probably said.

(image source = inf daily)

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Tags: justin bieber |

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Resse Witherspoon is unsure of Justin Biebers gender

By brendon January 31, 2012 @ 4:10 PM

During a press junket for her movie ‘This Means War’, Reese Witherspoon was asked about the rumor that Justin Bieber wants to remake the 1996 movie ‘Fear’, which Reese starred in with Mark Wahlberg. And her reply was sort of awesome.

“Would he be playing me, or is he playing Mark Wahlberg?”

No seriously that’s a perfectly valid question. Because Justin Bieber is an effeminate little twink. At least Wahlberg worked out. My phone bill is scarier than Justin Bieber.

NOTE: I don’t know why the photo agencies even have these today, but busty internet favorite Jordan Carver got into a pillow fight with some orange girl in a Vegas hotel room, and for some reason the server here won’t post the Justin Bieber pictures I uploaded, and will only post pictures of Jordan in a bra. We must have gotten hacked or something. It’s really upsetting.

(image source = wenn)

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Tags: jordan carver, justin bieber, reese witherspoon |

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Justin Bieber had a good day

By brendon January 05, 2012 @ 5:05 PM

The last time we saw Justin Bieber at the beach, he was with Selena Gomez, who was in a bikini and draped across him. And he looked bored and played with his phone the whole time.

But today he was at the beach with some other lithe young men, on his knees in front of them, and taking them roughly from behind, and he looked happy as could be. Gosh I wonder why that could be.

(image source = fame)