By Travis November 12, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
In the days after she posted a video of a sleeping Justin Bieber to YouTube, and once people on the internet quickly discovered who she is, model and possible escort Tati Neves quickly made a TV appearance to explain to the world that she never had sex with Justin. But Tati has since changed her mind and story in a manner that is very convenient for the singer, as she told The Sun that not only did she make him scream, “Baby, baby, baby,” but that he was “unforgettable” and “well-endowed.” Eventually, someone is going to ask her why she changed her story, though, and I expect that Tati will say, “Oh no reason,” while fanning herself with a stack of hundred dollar bills, with Justin standing behind her shouting, “And tell them I have a huge dick!”
Photo Credit: Tati Neves/Facebook
By Lex November 08, 2013 @ 3:43 PM
Being unoriginal wouldn’t even make the top ten shitty things about this little self-absorbed weasel. Still, it’s worth noting on his permanent record of being a total dick that it looks like Bieber’s overwhelming desire to start tagging cityscapes in Brazil was based upon an a graffiti character he basically stole after seeing in Austin. Or so a guy named Will tells us. He claims that Bieber’s street work was just a plagiarized version of the work of t3mz4, a graffiti artist whose work Bieber apparently saw when in town for the Austin City Limits. The original artist tried to mention this on Bieber’s Instagram but the Bieb’s social media team kept deleting his comments. It’s hard to believe that the wunderkind who came up with such Dylan-esque lyrics as “Are we an item? Girl, quit playing We’re just friends, what are you saying” would need to resort to intellectual thievery. But then it’s also hard to believe that a guy with a million screaming female fans would pay a skanky brothel hooker to lay beneath him and lie about his manliness.
Photo: above Bieber proud of his graffiti art, below the original piece in Austin
By Jack November 07, 2013 @ 5:44 PM
Justin Bieber is in trouble again after he was allegedly caught spray painting graffiti on a wall in Brazil. The pint-sized turd was apparently tagging the old Hotel Nacional in Rio while his bodyguards stood watch. Some photographers took some pics of the little cockmunch doing it too and they got seriously harassed and assaulted. It’s unclear what he was painting. I imagine that he was writing out the names of all the cute boys he likes. The cops went to the villa where he was staying but he wasn’t home. The little Peter Pan has been having quite a week in Brazil. I guess he figures that since he’s in a foreign country he can commit crime and act like he’s a hell of a lot more interesting than he really is. In Brazil graffiti is a crime punishable with up to a year in jail. I would love to see what would happen to Justin Bieber in a Brazilian prison. They would tear him apart like bread soaked in milk.
(Pictured above: paparazzo goes back to whitewash Bieber’s graffiti the morning after the shit stain tried to assault him.)
Photo credit: FameFlynet
By Travis November 07, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
This random video doesn’t explain much of anything, other than even in Brazil, people are still assholes and don’t turn their cameras sideways. But it’s spreading like gonorrhea in a Brazilian whorehouse because people think this girl is one of the prostitutes that Justin Bieber took back to his hotel room last week. Still, there are so many questions, like why does this guy need to pay for sex? Why didn’t this girl secretly film herself having sex with him? Is she even really a prostitute? I’m afraid we’ll probably never know the truth, since I assume that she’s dead. Not because she took this video, but because of anything else that happens in Brazil.
Edited to add: pictures of the prostitute, Tati Neves. Though for the purposes of Brazil not filing a complaint with the United Nations, let’s call her a World Cup greeter.
Photo Credit: Tati Neves/Facebook
By Jack November 05, 2013 @ 3:26 PM
Justin Bieber has been offered a “pimp apprenticeship” in Nevada’s infamous Moonlight Bunny Ranch brothel. We told you yesterday that the little weasel turd was spotted at a well known whorehouse in Brazil. He was seen leaving with two ladies of the night. His bodyguards tried to disguise him under a bed sheet but his teen rebel tattoos were showing. Now Dennis Hof of the Moonlight Bunny Ranch in Nevada wants Biebs to become his partner. Unlike the crab infested whores Bieber had peg him in Brazil, the girls at the Bunny Ranch are tested by the state regularly for vaginal cooties. The slogan Hof put ten seconds into coming up with is “Be a Belieber in safe sex.” Hof wants to create a Justin Bieber suite where you can nail your choice of hookers on Justin Bieber sheets you can later take home to show your wife how your boring business trip went. This guy Hof seems like a big picture Ted talk kind of thinker. But I’m not so sure he understands what guys are thinking of when they pay to put their dick into a woman who calls herself Ashanté.
By Travis November 04, 2013 @ 9:00 AM
According to a newspaper in Panama, Justin Bieber may or may not have paid a prostitute $500 for sex while he was there last week, and Justin’s sad love for hookers all depended on whether or not we trusted the word of some random, unnamed Panamanian escort (we do). But now the evidence is a little more damning, as the New York Post has photos of Justin being ushered out of the Centauros whorehouse in Rio De Janiero, where the pop star and his crew spent the weekend and most of the last week partying like wealthy assholes, according to reports.
To their credit, Justin’s bodyguards were pretty smart about it all, throwing a blanket over him as they pushed him and two prostitutes into a car. That way they could have just said, “Oh us? We’re just drug dealers kidnapping and murdering this random person.” And nobody would have been the wiser.
Photo Credit: WENN.com