Bieber’s Desperation Strip And Shit Around The Web

September 10, 2014 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Lesbian troll doll Justin Bieber was booed when he appeared at the Fashion Rocks event because even lame adults realize there’s a tier system to lameness. So, Bieber fell back on stripping, as his dad used to order him to do to help make the rent on weekend trips to the seedy side of Toronto. […]


When You Walk With an Outlaw, You Walk Alone

September 3, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Seeing your diminutive boyfriend going Joe Pesci on a family in a minivan has to make your loins water. The draw toward Justin Bieber’s raw animal fervor has kept Selena Gomez coming back to the boy who took her cherry. Now her junior division Svengali is facing potential jail time in Canada for assault. She’s […]


Justin Bieber Arrested Again for Being a Dick

September 2, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Justin Bieber is one of those drunk hicks on Cops who thought he was shooting a possum that turned out to be his mildly retarded older brother, Billy. Except he’s that dumbass with $100 million in the bank. Which means he’s a dangerous fucking idiot weapon. Bieber got arrested again, this time in rural Canada. […]


Justin Bieber Seems To Be Under Investigation an Awful Lot

August 27, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Justin Bieber is being investigated for attempted robbery because he tried to grab a chick’s cell phone. The Shrinky Dink gangster was apparently at Dave and Buster’s with Selena Gomez on a step stool whispering in her ear about how he owned her vagina. Some girl started recording the couple so Bieber tried to snatch […]


Justin Bieber Disgraces Canada

August 22, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Members of Justin Bieber’s posse reportedly bribed a border official to let their members with criminal records into Canada. As per Canada’s policy of being modestly boring, no cash was exchanged but the official was given a bunch of backstage passes to Bieber’s show.¬†They claimed the passes were valued at $10,000 dollars, which I am […]


Justin Bieber Rapes Lady Justice Again

August 13, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Justin Bieber escaped any serious charges in his drag racing arrest from Florida last Winter by using the defense of being rich and having really important attorneys. It was a brilliant tactical maneuver. You may recall this past January Bieber’s dad, who serves as his son’s cruise director, marked off a residential street near Miami […]


Justin Bieber Gets Real And Shit Around The Web

August 8, 2014 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Justin Bieber is the global equivalent of ass cancer. But he’s got decent publicists. They set up a Facetime chat with inspirational Pakistani women’s rights activist Malala Yousafzai. What does a mincing mini-troll like Bieber have to say to a girl who took a bullet just for asking to go to school? You know, stuff. […]


Floyd Mayweather Has a Love Misunderstood

July 17, 2014 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Floyd Mayweather said he is actually friends with Justin Bieber and not just pretending to like Justin Bieber like the rest of the people who like Justin Bieber. Mayweather was offended when it was suggested otherwise, as if him and Biebs used to hustle in the same crew back in the D in the late […]


Justin Bieber Loads Up a Yacht Full of Skank

July 7, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The more Justin Bieber rents yachts and loads them up with strippers and booze, the more I begrudgingly have to respect the little shit weasel. If it weren’t for the trio of bloated social media assistants and handlers he has riding the stern of his ship, he’d almost be a relatively non-asshole rich young guy. […]


Justin Bieber Drops More N-Bombs to Music (VIDEO)

June 4, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The guy who wrote Justin Bieber’s recent apology for Justin’s racist joke that got leaked in a video forgot to mention there might be more coming. Apparently, 14 to 15 was a trying age for Justin, when he was exploring his musical roots, learning to adjust to newfound fame, and trying to set the Canadian […]