Taylor Swift Still Hates Justin Bieber

By Travis May 24, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Taylor Swift won a bunch of awards at last Sunday’s Billboard Music Awards, and then afterward she made that stupid face that she always makes when she pretends that she can’t believe people like her vanilla ice cream pop music so much. But now she makes it ironically, because she thinks it’s funny since we all make fun of her for it. Either way, she thinks her shit smells like a bouquet of flowers in Gwyneth Paltrow’s house.

That’s why she didn’t hold back in pretending to hold back when Access Hollywood asked her what she was whispering to Selena Gomez while Justin Bieber was being booed. “Ohhh, you do not want to know!” she said, according to Us Weekly, adding, “You do not want to open that can of worms. Especially tonight.” And I assume that means she was jealous that Justin won the Milestone Award and she didn’t, so all she wanted to do was go home and scissor Selena in peace.

Snitch on Justin Bieber And You Will Get Served

By Lex May 22, 2013 @ 2:11 PM

The folks at TMZ got their hands on the NDA agreement visitors to Justin Bieber’s mansion must sign before entering his humble abode built on his love of Christ and family. In short, the agreement says if you snitch about seeing people getting high, he’ll sue your ass for $5 million.

…anyone who blabs about any of the goings on inside the mansion will get nailed, and that includes the “physical health, or the philosophical, spiritual or other views or characteristics” of Bieber or the guests.

If you dare tweet about the party — $5 mil. If you blog — $5 mil. If you Instagram — $5 mil.

Unless you’re a drug dealer, a hot chick who hates the fuck out of her daddy, or an adult nursing relationship mother figure Justin leans on during his period, you’re probably not going to find yourself inside Justin’s house to begin with. But I know a guy who was and he tells me he saw Justin, big burly security guards, and a horde of teenage girls drinking around the pool. Throw in some weed and blow and you probably have the evening parties. Or exactly what everybody knows goes on with every wealthy young music artist ever. So why the crazy secrecy and threats? I don’t know, Justin is just a special kind of douche.

Tags: justin bieber |

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Taylor Swift Doesn’t Want Her Friends To Be Happy

By Lex May 20, 2013 @ 5:28 PM

Taylor Swift didn’t like when her girl buddy Selena Gomez embraced Justin Bieber in a kiss after the Billboard Awards, so she did what any bitchy jealous girlfriend would do. She stuck her tongue out in disgust. Wow, who to root for in a cat fight between Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber. There’s the proverbial meteor to root for, but that never seems to materialize. I’d rather see them duke it out. Taylor has the height, weight, strength, and moxie advantage, while Bieber has runaway speed and a strong belief that Jesus walks beside him, well, a few paces back. I’d call it even. I’d love to see it get bloody. Slow internal bleeding where we get to watch waves of sobbing self-realization overcome them as the lifeforce drains from their bodies. But, that’s just the dream. I’d settle for the meteor.

Tags: justin bieber, selena gomez, taylor swift |

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Justin Bieber Booed; Turns It Around Like a Judo Master! (VIDEO)

By Lex May 20, 2013 @ 2:27 AM

How can you not fall in love with this little bundle of joy. He’s a craftsman. Like an expert metallurgist or my Uncle Keith who turns discarded toothpicks into replicas of lesser known public monuments. When Bieber gives a shoutout to Jesus; Jesus throws it right back at him. Only double. Because God loves an ego-maniacal douchebag who’s not in on the joke.

The real loser in this pitiful tale isn’t Justin Bieber. He’s still going to stick his angry little prong into three hot women on a pile of cash after the show. It’s Billboard magazine. That’s a name that used to mean something in the world of music. A milestone achievement award to Justin Bieber? I’m glad I preemptively canceled my subscription in 2004.

Tags: 2013 Billboard Music Awards, justin bieber |

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Hackers Outed Justin Bieber On E!’s Twitter

By Travis May 06, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

The Syrian Electronic Army became a household name two weeks ago, when so-called hackers logged into the Associated Press’ Twitter account and Tweeted that there had been an explosion at the White House and President Obama had been injured. The result was a 100-point dip in the DOW Jones Industrial Average in a matter of seconds, as people everywhere freaked out and prayed that Gerard Butler was coming to the rescue.

So how do you follow up a debut like that? By hacking E! Online’s Twitter feed apparently. That’s what the SEA did on Saturday, when they Tweeted that singer Justin Bieber had outted himself as “a gay” while also Tweeting that Angelina Jolie admitted that Jordan was responsible for the atrocities committed against Syrian refugees.

But since Bieber’s fans don’t know what any of those words mean, the hackers had to resort to calling someone gay. Although, a more impressive feat would have been hacking a Bieber fan’s Twitter account and spelling words correctly.

(Photo Credit: WENN.com)

Justin Bieber’s Piano Attacked (VIDEO)

By Lex May 05, 2013 @ 11:51 PM

I feel like the people who attack Justin Bieber need better training. This last dude today rushed the stage in Dubai and tried to pull Justin away from pretending to play the piano right in the middle of Believe. He couldn’t even shut Justin the fuck up and he broke a perfectly good piano. Now he’s in the hands of some Middle Eastern country’s police. So, he’s going to lose a nut or a limb and for what? Justin is 5’4 and barely pushing 120 lbs on a day when he’s not too angry to eat. This isn’t that hard, people. Whack. Slam. Wait for plea for mercy in Canadian accent. Stomp.

Tags: justin bieber |

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