Beauty And The Biebs Over Soon

February 2, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

There’s only so long someone can handle being in a relationship with an overly committed Christian that’s just a hair shy of being completely crazy. In the realm of all things Bieber, fans are still waiting for Justin to release a Gospel album. It’s really what this world has been missing in these bleak times. […]

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Justin Bieber Manic Cult Jesus Whiteboard Inspo

December 21, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

When Jesus was getting his eyes eaten by birds up on the cross his greatest hope was that someday a strung out twink would hashtag his name on a whiteboard alongside a manic misspelled cult rant.

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Selena Gomez’ Mom Hospitalized After Learning Her Daughter and Justin Bieber Are Back On

December 20, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Apparently, Selena Gomez’ entire family begin to shudder and shake with the mere mention of junior Napoleon who took Selena’s virginity and bragged about it to his rented black rapper posse. 

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Bieber’s Mom Doesn’t Just Like Gomez, She Likes Everyone

December 15, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I’m not sure how Justin Bieber can look Selena Gomez in the eye anymore. She had intercourse with the enemy and was handed back like the plot in an episode of a Game Of Thrones spinoff.

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Justin Beiber Sneaking Back Into Selena Gomez’s Life

October 27, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Justin Beiber is still going through growing pains when it comes to girls. Sure, picking which religious cult you want to belong to is easy but knowing which woman you want to throw away your bachelor eligibility on is hard. 

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Justin Bieber Beefing With Marilyn Manson

September 17, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Marilyn Manson is calling out Biebs for rock culture cultural appropriation.

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Selena Gomez Hacked, Beiber’s Bare Boyhood Exposed

September 1, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Nudes are the physical proof that famous people are just like us. No matter how many charts you top or records sold most people can’t resist the urge of a birthday suit photoshoot.

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Justin Beiber Rebukes Boxing Buddy Mayweather

August 23, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

The Hillside Church that is possessing the pop star’s every move told Justin to remove all bad influences from his life. So relationships with 40-year-old illiterate millionaires who punch people for a living got tossed on the chopping block.

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Justin Bieber Hits Paparazzi With Car

July 27, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Some of life’s most important lessons can only be learned through firsthand experience. If you look at Amy Schumer’s tit, your retinas will explode. If you stand in front of a moving car, you will get run over. The latter is especially difficult for members of the elite paparazzi profession. Years of fine-tuning photographic prowess as well as needing to sustain a drug habit make the paps thirstier than a hobo clicking together empty cups at Christmas to the tune of Jingle Bells in exchange for handfuls of coins.

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Jesus Christ Interfering With Justin Bieber’s Career

July 26, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Now that the drama of not wowing more audiences with shitty autotuned music has settled, all eyes are back on Carl Lentz, and Bieber’s new faith in Christ cults. Lentz leads the Hillsong Church – a group that has all the buzzwords of the subject of an HBO true crime drama about a bunch of dead cult members.

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