Bieber Throws A Girlish Punch And Shit Around The Web

By Jack October 02, 2014 @ 12:00 PM

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Justin Bieber tried to show off his masculinity by throwing a 10-psi punch at a paparazzo in Paris. Apparently, the photog got too close to the little shit weasel and Biebs decided to flex his baby muscles. It impressed no one. Not even the French.

Watch Biebs try and be manly. (TMZ)

Alyssa Barbara has a pretty spectacular ass. (Drunken Stepfather)

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s cleavage will make you happy. (Hollywood Tuna)

Meanwhile, Nina Agdal looks fucking amazing in a bikini. (Popoholic)

Mila Kunis shits out Ashton Kutcher’s d-bag spawn. (The Superficial)

Charlotte McKinney is all cleavy eating donuts. That is all. (Busted Coverage)

A couple spends 30k on sex dolls for threesomes. Yes. (Jezebel)

Kendall Is Justin’s New Beard And Shit Around The Web

By Jack October 01, 2014 @ 12:00 PM

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Lesbian troll doll Justin Bieber seems to have moved on from not having sex with Selena Gomez to pretending to bone Kendall Jenner. The two have been seen cavorting around Paris together. Probably shopping and talking about boys.

Just come out of the closet already. (Popoholic)

Amazon put a racism warning on old Tom and Jerry cartoons. (Huffington Post)

Andrea Sportono in a see-through shirt is a very good thing. (Drunken Stepfather)

Jennifer Nicole Lee wears a bikini well ’cause she got big ol titties. (Hollywood Tuna)

Diddy thinks J-Lo’s ass is a work of art and Kim’s is aight. (The Superficial)

I totally want to fly Vietjet if their stewardesses look like that! (The Chive)

Oh, good you get to see Ben Affleck’s dick in Gone Girl. (Dlisted)

Bieber’s Desperation Strip And Shit Around The Web

By Jack September 10, 2014 @ 12:20 PM

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Lesbian troll doll Justin Bieber was booed when he appeared at the Fashion Rocks event because even lame adults realize there’s a tier system to lameness. So, Bieber fell back on stripping, as his dad used to order him to do to help make the rent on weekend trips to the seedy side of Toronto.

Watch the little shit weasel’s total desperation. (Dlisted)

Fuck that ice bucket shit, I want to feel up a porn star for charity. (Huffington Post)

Why yes, those are Abigail Ratchford Gifs. (COED)

Nina Agdal in lingerie will make your day. (Popoholic)

Meanwhile, in Raquel Rischard’s tits news…(The Superficial)

Bella Thorne really ought not be underage still. (Hollywood Tuna)

Nicole Trunfio is an Australian model. Here is her ass. (Drunken Stepfather)

(Photo Via CBS)

When You Walk With an Outlaw, You Walk Alone

By Lex September 03, 2014 @ 12:13 PM

Selena Gomez In A Low Cut Shirt Walking Solo In NYC
Seeing your diminutive boyfriend going Joe Pesci on a family in a minivan has to make your loins water. The draw toward Justin Bieber’s raw animal fervor has kept Selena Gomez coming back to the boy who took her cherry. Now her junior division Svengali is facing potential jail time in Canada for assault. She’s the Bonnie to his Clyde. It’s one of those thrill kill relationships that people like us can’t possibly understand. We’re too caught up in civilization and polite society. Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez don’t live by our rules. They won’t die by our rules. Just so long as Justin goes soon I can stand not understanding it.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News, Splash

Justin Bieber Arrested Again for Being a Dick

By Lex September 02, 2014 @ 11:04 AM

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Justin Bieber is one of those drunk hicks on Cops who thought he was shooting a possum that turned out to be his mildly retarded older brother, Billy. Except he’s that dumbass with $100 million in the bank. Which means he’s a dangerous fucking idiot weapon. Bieber got arrested again, this time in rural Canada. He crashed his ATV with both he and Selena Gomez in the bitch seat into a mini-van. Naturally, he started threatening the mini-van occupants with his hair products. Canada is not big enough for Justin Bieber and you.

If you know anything about minivan occupants, you can only imagine the toughies he was challenging to impress his woman. I remember being arrested once in my youth for a minor offense and being run through the ringer. Bieber seems to be on about number seven here and he’s likely to get ‘must sing Anne Murray song at Edmonton Oilers half time show’ as the full extent of his punishment. I’m starting to fall in line with the true believers who always spout that ‘God will call him to answer’. I just hope when Bieber answers it’s something Old Testament horrific and I get to watch with my 3-D glasses.

Photo credit: PCN

Justin Bieber Seems To Be Under Investigation an Awful Lot

By Matt August 27, 2014 @ 6:12 AM

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Justin Bieber is being investigated for attempted robbery because he tried to grab a chick’s cell phone. The Shrinky Dink gangster was apparently at Dave and Buster’s with Selena Gomez on a step stool whispering in her ear about how he owned her vagina. Some girl started recording the couple so Bieber tried to snatch her phone, but failed because he has the muscle mass of a six year old. He never laid hands on the girl or managed to get the phone so it seems like a completely pointless investigation. It’s possible the chick is just looking for attention, or that she’s mildly retarded since she’s fascinated with Justin Bieber. If we lived in a more civilized society, we’d strap some razor blade covered gloves on Bieber and the girl, lock them in a chain link cage, and let the Fates decide who walks out and who is carried out. Is there anybody who wouldn’t watch that? I’d actually buy the DVD.

Photo Credit: Instagram