Put The Needle In Her Arm Already

February 16, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Kris Jenner posted a photo of her crying grandchild North West understandably having a tantrum while waiting for her super straight dad’s suede booty fashion show to start. That’s fine. Tagging Beyonce and a host of other celebrities in the post could be pushing it. I feel we should allow children the decision to become useless assholes […]


Yeezy’s Pedophile Booty Dreams Come to Life

February 13, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I don’t know what the fuck Kanye was selling last night. I think it was blank faced children in nude bodysuits. A horde of stolen Ukrainian teen sex slaves came marching out in suede booties to the sound of Kanye West’s voice booming on about engineering greatness once more. I don’t know. I feel like […]


Brandon Browner Speaks His Mind

February 12, 2015 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

New England Patriots cornerback Brandon Browner sounded off on Kanye West via Twitter regarding West’s tendency to pick on teenage girls and emo dudes who weigh a buck twenty out of their scented baths: “Kanye West is a sucka! Everybody don’t listen to Beyonce. Second time he tried to steal somebody shine. First time it was […]


Kanye West Is The Antivenom

February 12, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

After the Grammys Kanye West said Beck should have given his award for Best Album to Beyonce: “All I know is if the Grammys want real artists to keep coming back, they need to stop playing with us. We ain’t gonna play with them no more. ‘Flawless,’ Beyonce video. Beck needs to respect artistry and he […]


Kanye Is Still An Asshole And Shit Around The Web

February 10, 2015 | crap around the web | Brendon| 0 Comments

Kanye West hogwashed in his own assholery by slamming Beck for beating Beyonce for Album of the Year at the Grammys. It’s not that 95% of the non-fedora hat wearing world isn’t wondering how the fuck Beck won album of the year. It’s just that nobody believes you are really sticking up for other people. […]


Kanye Watches Kim Kardashian Get Dressed

January 28, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s not unusual for a husband to watch his wife get dressed. Unless it is. It probably is. Kanye has been infatuated with his wife even before they were together. He used to imagine Kim while pounding Amber Rose with his headphones on. That’s a special kind of bond that defies time and space and […]


Kanye West Is Humbled

January 26, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Some autistic guy approached Kanye West and asked him to sign a photo of Kim Kardashian which had his crusted jizz on it. Embarrassingly enough the photo was from one of her weddings which got poor ratings and West refused to sign it. It’s a precarious situation. Nobody likes to think about Kris Humphries banging your wife or even playing basketball. […]


Kanye West Stole From Office Max

January 22, 2015 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

A deposition from a lawsuit filed by a photographer alleging Kanye West assaulted him has turned up the fact West was convicted of felony theft in 2000 for stealing printers from Office Max. West doesn’t really say if he did it or not, which probably means he did it, but blames the ordeal on racial […]


Kim Kardashian And Kanye West Sell Jeans

December 24, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If you’ve ever thought to yourself, damn, I’d love to splash chowder across Kim Kardashian’s tits over the hood of my car then buy myself some $2600 French man trousers, this advertisement is for you. I say it’s even sexier because a loving husband and his still wife are playing master and servant. Third marriages […]


Kim And Kanye Most Liked In History

December 4, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s wedding photo got 2.4 million Likes on Instagram, the most of 2014 and the most ever for a photo on Instagram. To be fair it was a slow year. Scores of retarded teens and the unemployed had to wade through countless boring shots documenting many state’s first Gay Marriages, the […]