Rob Kardashian Deconstructed

By Lex March 24, 2015 @ 8:58 AM

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The Kardashian whore machine is floating a few trial balloons as reasons why Rob Kardashian referred to his sister Kim on Twitter as a lying manipulative murderous bitch. According to sources that are almost certainly Kris Jenner’s media team, Rob Kardashian is just a silly prankster who loves practical jokes. Funny gags like eating disorders, depression, ditching his sister’s wedding, punching women, and cutting sock patterns in the dark basement at night next to the sarcophagus chambering his real dad’s cadaver. Classic knee-slappers.

It’s just him… He always posts things he thinks are funny and deletes and unfollows people… He’s so bizarre, he posts and deletes and thinks people aren’t going to notice.

Like guys with 5 million followers and tons of social media training often do. Forget how Twitter works. Another theory thrown out there by the team is that Rob is very frustrated with his weight and lack of motivation to get into ass fuck shape like his sisters:

He just doesn’t seem to care right now. He’s not motivated. He seems really sad about his weight, but he also isn’t trying to do anything about it.

Consider that a butterball warning shot from Mom, dipshit. She’s a ruthless succubus but she is all that stands between you and a face off with the midget plum hole sister you just outed as a murderous psychopath. You won’t win that fight. Now get back  in the basement and knit us some more socks. You Tweet that shit again, you’ll only need to make left ones for yourself.

Photo credit: FameFlynet

Rob Kardashian On the Run And Shit Around The Web

By Jack March 23, 2015 @ 12:00 PM

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Rob Kardashian called his sister Kim out for being a sociopathic murderer. Either he’s right or he’s wrong. Either way, he’s dead.

Read all about Rob getting Gone Girled. (TMZ)

Start your week off right, with girls with giant boobs. (The Chive)

Summer St. Claire shows her topless bug yums in the great outdoors. (Egotastic)

Megan Fox models in a sheer bodysuit for a Korean skincare line. (Drunken Stepfather)

Lauren Stoner in a bikini is faptacular. (Hollywood Tuna)

Jessica Lowndes Instagrams a picture of her sweet ass in a bikini. (Popoholic)

Anais Zanotti, Ana Braga, and Tahiti Cora frolic in bikinis. (The Superficial)

Rob Kardashian In A Twist

By Matt March 23, 2015 @ 8:08 AM

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Rob Kardashian posted a photo of the evil manipulative chick from Gone Girl along with the caption “This is my sister Kim, the bitch from Gone Girl.” Curiously, Rob’s Instagram page consists solely of this photo because he either has body dysmorphia or nobody likes him enough to take pictures. After posting the photo Rob then unfollowed his entire family on Instagram like a motherfucking boss. I thought posting cryptic cries for attention on social media was reserved for teenage girls and stereotypical gay men in their early forties. Kim Kardashian is clearly a shameless dullard yet comparing her to a serial murderer seems misplaced. A better reference might be Charlie Sheen in Wall Street if he didn’t have a job and was dumb and had big fake tits with rapper cum caking on them. Or maybe Rob’s trying to tell us she really is murdering people who get in her way.  I guess we’ll know when Rob shows up in a ditch with slashes to his neck and designer socks. Nobody will say we figured this out too late.

Photo Credit: Instagram 

North West Knows What’s What (VIDEO)

By Lex March 19, 2015 @ 8:28 AM

The new $100 million deal with E! is done. Promo pieces used to bump the deal are no longer needed. Like North West. She’s staging furniture for an open house. The home sells, that swank divans go back to the show room. North isn’t even two and she knows her time has passed. She used to be cradled in fur. Now she’s desperately hanging on to luggage so she’s not left behind at LAX. Who’s that bitch snaking a ride? Oh, yeah, what’s her face. At some point, the entourage will grow as tired of her as her parents and she’ll be forgotten in a Burger King restroom. Smile and learn a couple songs, sweetheart. Maybe a decent family will take you.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Kim Kardashian Seems Modest

By Lex March 12, 2015 @ 9:35 AM

Kim Kardashian Arm Bra On Latest Keeping Up With Kardashians Episode
Kim Kardashian showed her appreciation for the new fat contract from E! by nearly baring her breasts on the new Keeping Up with the Kardashians season. This as opposed to baring her breasts for half a dozen cheap magazines in the past few months and sailors in the port of Long Beach for $50 a peekaboo. I applaud the producers for trying to come up with something worth watching. Tits. Screaming. Revelations. And a pan around the room at shocked looks from the vault of stock shocked looks from shows past. If you were raised in a whorehouse, this will remind you of home. If you’re just a bored fat person, this will tickle your folds and lock you into the next episode. If you’re the rest of us, you’re just rooting for her arm to tire and men dressed as monks to bukkake her fake yabbos.

Photo Credit: “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” E!

Kanye West Still Dresses His Bride

By Lex March 09, 2015 @ 8:49 AM

Kim Kardashian In Fur And Leather Pants In Paris
It’s creepy that your husband lays out and approves your clothes at thirty-four, even if it does bring back childhood memories of hosting dad’s client friends. It’s International Women’s Day. Time to lay out some ground rules. Rule one, stop dressing me like a fuck toy. Show off my tits and ass, fine. But I don’t need to look like the mountain goat all the other goats hump because she’s got her hoof caught in the precipice. There is no rule two unless the temperatures rise in Paris. The French love the smell of an unwashed vagina more than most, but nobody exalts the scent of Yeezus musk cooked in hide.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet