Kim Kardashian: 'I Know I'm Going To Heaven' (VIDEO)

Kim Kardashian still thinks we care about the time she was robbed at gunpoint in Paris. If it even happened. This will be our generation's moon landing. Right up there with A-list Lyme disease cases. The former porn star and current transitioning centaur took to Ellen to... read more

Kim And Kourtney Mexican Bikini Adventure And Shit Around The Web

Vapid sistersKimandKourtney Kardashianbikini together in Mexico. The photos shocked the world as nobody had seen their bare asses for over a week and were worried the Venezuelan rubber nationalization might've caused some undue consequences. read more

Kim Kardashian Flu Diet Spreading

Kim Kardashian came under fire on social media for declaring her recent flu bout as an amazing diet technique. Followed immediately by the people bitching at her online simultaneously Googling, "best ways to contract the flu". read more

Kim Kardashian Braless for the Genocide

The Kardashians cling to the Armenian genocide as their political cause lifeline because their first dad their mom drove to death was a full blooded Armenian. Also, it made for a wonderful few episodes of the TV show when they went back to the homeland to stay at the Ritz... read more

Kim Kardashian Sex Tape 10-Year Anniversary Sales Staggering

Congratulations to Kim Kardashian. The porn star is celebrating the ten-year anniversary of her big break. Vivid released Kim Kardashian, Superstar on March 21, 2007. Now we have the numbers. They’ll make you question the person sitting next to you. And humanity. read more

Kim Kardashian Barren

Ever since Khloe made Vegetative Lamar annul their annulment in a Cedars-Sinai ICU, the Kardashian's have been medically cursed. The Old Testament God is vengeful. Don't overtly break commandments in the Spielberg wing. read more

Kim Kardashian Stares Death in the Face

Kim Kardashian has a hole in her uterus. You be the judge of how it got there. Exhume Dead Bob Kardashian for an autopsy. Maybe Janie got a gun. read more

Scott Disick, Sex Addict

It's best to start the conversation over male sex addiction by everybody admitting it's a bullshit medical diagnosis. A disease can't only exist for famous wealthy men with access to ambitiousmodels. read more

Kim Kardashian Icing on the Oceans Eight Cake

The all female cast remake of Oceans Eleven continues to bring in tons of female celebrities playing themselves at the "Met Ball Gala" where the Oceans gang will rob all their jewels. For Kim Kardashian, Oceans Eight represented not only a chance to take part in a... read more

Kim Kardashian Dissecting Kanye

You can't turn out a good man. A confused man, far easier. The Kardashians choose male partners of notoriety and means, not of masculine character. Inherently, any man who signs up to be run by a bubble-butted midget is a gender fail. read more

Kardashian Reasons to Pen in Ocean's Eight

Hollywood's put women and Leslie Mann's gimp in charge of empowering women in film. Mostly they've come up with taking previously successful film franchises and rebooting them with female casts in the place of the original male cast. You give ideating a bad name, and that... read more

Kim Kardashian Kills It in Dubai (VIDEO)

This is ultimately how the world comes together. Kim Kardashian receiving a standing ovation from thousands of women in hijabs who paid a small fortune to see her get made-up on stage in Dubai. read more