Petty And Pathetic Lindsay Lohan Loses Again

April 6, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan is one of the laziest women around looking for some quick cash. Ever since she’s been excommunicated from elite society her main source of income has been escorting unofficially and the occasional lawsuit. She’s going to have... READ MORE

Does Your Life Suck? At Least You’re Not Lindsay Lohan

March 30, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Every time anyone looks at Lindsay Lohan the initial question anyone should ask themselves is “is she still bangable to me?” This self-inquiry determines whether or not it’s worth caring what the ginge minge expat has been up to.... READ MORE

Lindsay Lohan Greece-y And Bored

March 2, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan’s talents have been reduced down to dancing and taking her clothes off for whoever is paying her the most amount of money. She’s yet to combine the two activities and become a full-time stripper but she’s halfway... READ MORE

Lindsay Lohan Wants To Be A Batgirl

January 19, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan knows that the best way to get back on the good side of the same citizens she once turned her back on is by starring in a major Marvel or DC Studios film. Batgirl is the new... READ MORE

Lindsay Lohan Misses America

January 12, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan was short on cash so she leased her body as an alabaster outhouse to the highest foreign bidder. Since her last cinematic flop she managed to flirt with the idea of Islam and an uber wealthy Korean... READ MORE