Lindsay Lohan Suffers From Coincidence

By Lex November 13, 2015 @ 9:14 AM


Lindsay Lohan posted a photo of herself in 60′s garb on Instagram citing her love of Sharon Tate. Tate being the ingenue actress who Charles Manson family members stabbed to death while eight months pregnant in her home. Lohan posted the photo yesterday on Charles Manson’s birthday which Lohan defenders are claiming is purely unfortunate coincidence. Sort of the way her mom coincidentally borrowed the one purse where Lindsay keeps her stash. It’s hard to know what’s more unbelievable. That Lohan randomly selected to homage a rarely mentioned 60′s murdered actress on the birthday of that actress’ world famous murderer, or that she has defenders. When Lohan posts her I Love Nicole Brown get up on O.J.’s birthday, I’m calling bullshit. Wet brain is a valid medical condition, but it doesn’t explain that double chin.

Lindsay Lohan Mus Musculus

By Lex October 29, 2015 @ 11:48 AM

Lindsay Lohan Goes As Sexy Mouse For Halloween Party In London
Lindsay Lohan gears up for Halloween around mid-March after she wakes up from New Year’s. It’s a brutal schedule, but Halloween is her favorite holiday. In her newly adopted home of London she went as a mouse you might like to fuck after a couple or three spiked ciders. Lohan got heavily into character and ate nothing but moldy cheese out of the dumpsters where she slept for seven weeks leading up to the evening. It’s unclear if the blood from her mouth is part of the costume or that’s just fucking blood coming out of her mouth. Make that six ciders. Don’t meow when she’s in character if you’d like to keep your dick.

Photo Credit: Getty

Lindsay Lohan’s Freckly Nips And Shit Around The Web

By Jack September 21, 2015 @ 12:00 PM


There was a time when Lindsay Lohan was considered desirable. She was probably underaged then now that I think about it. Now she looks like a freckled purse with tits. So, you’d still do here, you just wouldn’t brag to your friends.

Look upon her nipples if you dare. (Drunken Stepfather)

Marcela Vivian sports some see-through lingerie. (Last Men On Earth)

Behold Julia Nobis’ naked titties. (Egotastic All-Stars)

Rose McGowan’s partly naked music video for Rm486 is bonkers. (TMZ)

Your mom’s favorite sleazy author, Jackie Collins, died. (Dlisted)

Jennifer Lopez is cleavy is as fuck. (Popoholic)

Let’s start the week off right with thigh gaps. (The Chive)

Lindsay Lohan Catty

By Lex August 06, 2015 @ 9:06 AM

Lindsay Lohan Topless Covered
Lindsay Lohan started Gatling Gunning out topless photos of herself so her anorexic little sister wouldn’t hog all the New York media ink for booking her first modeling gig. Congratulations. You’re 21. Given that you’ve done nothing before this other than deny yourself food and wish your parents into an alternate dimension, you’ve officially spent 21 years landing a part-time job. That might earn you an inspiring interstitial in a Hillary Campaign video. It shouldn’t compel your sister to produce selfies from her Hotel California in Qatar . If you’re not sure if you’re a guest or a prisoner, then you already know the answer.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Lindsay Lohan in A Bikini

By Lex July 21, 2015 @ 10:59 AM

Lindsay Lohan Parties In A Bikini In Greece
Lindsay Lohan was sent to Greece to remind those debt skating motherfuckers what happens when you turn your back on an obligation to the EU. Everybody retiring on government pension at forty-five doesn’t sound so idyllic when HSV’s one through five are percolating in the Aegean. Start pressing the olives that much harder. Juan Pierre will be by on Tuesday. Next comes an air drop of Donatella Versace’s vivisected skin trimmings. There will be no passover.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Lindsay Lohan Moving To London, Again

By Lex June 24, 2015 @ 12:39 PM

Lindsay Lohan Models A Bikini
Every few months Lindsay Lohan announces how much she loves London because she can spell it and the cool air is good for her open leg wounds and how she might move there permanently. I think she’s waiting for somebody to say please don’t go. Mostly everybody is just trying to figure out how to change the locks on America’s door in case she changes her mind. Never make a threat you don’t intend to carry out. Also, never assume a move to a foreign country will cure you of what truly ails you. Unless it’s tax fraud, then maybe.

Photo Credit: Instagram