Lindsay Lohan Forced To Say Sorry After Labeling Women As Weak

August 15, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan lives her life like no one is looking. She has divorced pork and Western values to become a Muslim somewhere in the Middle East, dated the Asian version of Batman’s archenemy Bane from South Korea, and never... READ MORE

Lindsay Lohan Has Luck On Her Side And A New Reality Show

July 25, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I’m trying to figure out if I hate Lindsay Lohan more than I hate the poorly disguised Nigerian phishing scams that occasional show up in my inbox. On one hand, Lindsay has never attempted to swindle me out of... READ MORE

Lindsay Lohan Is An International Stool Pigeon

July 10, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Any story involving Lindsay Lohan always feels like fake news but somehow turns out to be real news once the smoke clears. But most importantly, in the end, fraudulent or authentic, who really cares? It’s Lindsay and she’s as... READ MORE

Petty And Pathetic Lindsay Lohan Loses Again

April 6, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan is one of the laziest women around looking for some quick cash. Ever since she’s been excommunicated from elite society her main source of income has been escorting unofficially and the occasional lawsuit. She’s going to have... READ MORE

Does Your Life Suck? At Least You’re Not Lindsay Lohan

March 30, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Every time anyone looks at Lindsay Lohan the initial question anyone should ask themselves is “is she still bangable to me?” This self-inquiry determines whether or not it’s worth caring what the ginge minge expat has been up to.... READ MORE

Lindsay Lohan Greece-y And Bored

March 2, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan’s talents have been reduced down to dancing and taking her clothes off for whoever is paying her the most amount of money. She’s yet to combine the two activities and become a full-time stripper but she’s halfway... READ MORE

Lindsay Lohan Wants To Be A Batgirl

January 19, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan knows that the best way to get back on the good side of the same citizens she once turned her back on is by starring in a major Marvel or DC Studios film. Batgirl is the new... READ MORE

Lindsay Lohan Misses America

January 12, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan was short on cash so she leased her body as an alabaster outhouse to the highest foreign bidder. Since her last cinematic flop she managed to flirt with the idea of Islam and an uber wealthy Korean... READ MORE