WOODY HARRELSON - says America invaded Afghanistan because Chevron wanted to overthrow the Taliban and build an oil pipeline. “The guys from Chevron went in and met with the Taliban and realized those guys just weren’t in control enough. That’s why they wanted to oust them.” You can read his entire interview in this weeks issue of ‘Crazy Dipshit Weekly’. (newsbusters)
LINDSAY LOHAN - is not creating a jewelry line with designer Pascal Mouawad, despite telling Access Hollywood that she was. “This is not happening,” he said in an email. As if she knows how to design jewelry. She might as well say she’s gonna build a space shuttle. (wwd)
SETH MACFARLANE - is sort of a one-trick pony. And that trick is to make the same show over and over and annoy the shit out of me. (college humor)
TILA TEQUILA - is suing ex bf Shawne Merriman claiming he abused her. Merriman was arrested on Sept. 6 after Tequila made similar claims, but despite clear bruises up and down her arms and Merriman admitting he held her down, no charges were ever filed. Probably because it’s always a disaster when a girl tells a story. You just know they’re fuckin it all up. (fox)
ASHLEY GREENE - was the hottest of the cast by far at last nights premier for ‘New Moon’. Mostly because I’m not sure who my other choices are. I think one is named ‘Kristin’. Another is maybe named ‘Taylor’. I think those are the girls. Are they girls? I should look this up.
Lindsay Lohan is broke as hell of course, because she spends all her money on drugs and other than a cameo that took one day of filming she hasn’t acted in a movie in almost three years. One way she’s saving money is by stealing everything.
Last week she was at Crown Bar when she “stormed into the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of really expensive champagne.” She drank those then threw a fit when they asked her to pay. That didn’t work so she pointed to ‘Twilight’ star Kellen Lutz and said he would pay. Kellen said “wait, what?” and eventually Lindsay paid.
This new story is almost exactly like that one, but substitute the word “clothes” for “alcohol”.
Lindsay Lohan has only bothered to complete about half of the requirements in her probation after a 2007 DUI arrest, and last month a judge told her she would go to jail if she continued to “thumb her noise” at the court.
In a related story, Lindsay stole two bottles of champagne while at Crown Bar last week (story here), and up top is a video captured by X17 Online of Lindsay in a bathroom this weekend with Brandon “Firecrotch” Davis while he appears to do coke. Using her quick legal mind, Lindsay went on twitter and denied she was there.
“hahaha x17online posted photos of NOT ME inside someone’s bathroom…
All negativity & bad karma..nice try though kids-u should do a deal with michael lohan sr :) a match made in heaven! perfect, he’s religious!
Thank you for keeping my company!”
I don’t mean to brag but I’m pretty sure I know what Lindsay Lohan looks like. And what she looks like is the ratty haired, post-apocalyptic truck-stop hooker in that bathroom with coke in it. The full video is under the “read more” link, and in that she leaves the next morning so there’s no doubt she was there. Any normal judge would see this and at least bring her in for a drug test, but judges in LA have all the deductive power of a ref in the WWE.
Do you see now why a Lindsay picture ban is long overdue?
But, whatever. More to the point, TMZ has lost their minds. Today they have the breathless headline that Michael Lohan may face jail time because he gave Radar Online recordings of several phone calls between himself, Lindsay and his ex wife Dina.
Michael Lohan could wind up behind bars for his despicable decision to release secret recordings of his family’s phone conversations — because it appears (he) wasn’t legally allowed to be on the calls in the first place.
It’s all over a protective order Dina obtained in Nassau County, New York back in 2005, which bans Michael from communicating with Dina by email or phone until 2011.
Unfortunately for Lindsay — who was granted a one-year protective order against Michael back in 2004 — there are no laws against being an insensitive, fame-hungry, backstabbing father.
Clearly this has outraged TMZ and will set back their quest to clean up celebrity media, and has nothing to do with the tapes going to a rival, but is what they’re saying even true? I don’t know what the statute of limitations is on perfectly pleasant phone calls but if she wanted to report this crime she should have done it by now.
This is New York. And she’s already said the phone calls are over a year old. The judge is gonna have her approach the bench just so he can conk her on the head with his gavel. She could maybe try to claim she felt threatened, but there’s simply no chance her dumb ass is smart enough for that. They’re dumb as rocks, these Lohans. “He made me talk to him, I couldn’t get away. I heard a hissing sound. I think he had dynamite. I was lucky to get off the phone alive.”
The highlight of todays audio clip on Radar is when Dina Lohan admits to Michael Lohan that their daughters lifestyle is going to kill her sooner than later (“time is running out with this kid. I know, I’m her mother and I feel it and I’m scared.”). Luckily it seems the message may finally be getting through. I’m joking of course. When asked about her father releasing these tapes to pressure her into drug rehab, Lindsay says…
“I hate him so much. My father knows nothing other than how to sell stories for money instead of getting a real job like normal people do, including myself.”
No need to read that again because yes she thinks she has a job. The last time Lindsay had a movie in a theater it made $56,000. Total. Not including that one, all her movies since 2005 have made an average of 15M. To put that in perspective, ‘Ponyo’, ‘New Girl in Town’ and ‘Shorts’ all made more than that this year, and those movies probably don’t even exist.
So since Lindsay doesn’t matter, there’s really no need to have pictures of her. Instead here are pictures of Asian girls with disproportionately large breasts in bikinis. I know that’s an incredibly specific type of gallery, but god dammit man, you read Tyler, you deserve the very best in life! Huzzah!
(story source = msnbc. box office numbers on box office mojo here and here. full size of banner pic here)
These tapes from Michael Lohan on Radar get less shocking by the day. Yesterdays was clearly just made up, and todays tells us things we already knew. Namely that Lindsay is a cutter. Tomorrows tape: Lindsay’s not a natural blond.
It was in November of 2006 that people started to ask about the mysterious scratches on Lindsays wrists and wondered why she was wrapped in bandages so often (last 4 pix below). It came up again last year, when pictures of her at a screening for ‘Ugly Betty’ showed clear scars across the inside of her forearm (first 4).
In 2006 her publicist said Lindsay had fallen in some bushes and that’s how she got scratched up. Some bushes apparently made of bunny rabbits and cotton except for one branch of rusty jagged steel about 4 feet high. Her mom however said…
In an explosive audio tape obtained exclusively by RadarOnline.com, Dina Lohan admits that Lindsay is cutting herself. Talking to Lindsay’s father Michael, Dina says at one point:” Her cutting herself and hurting herself? Yeah, it’s bad Michael, it’s bad.”
I don’t mean to make light of this because cutting is a serious problem. It’s a cry for help from the lonely. Believe me, I know. In fact if I don’t get a new girlfriend soon, I may have to call my ex after another one of my Christmas “accidents”.
