Oprah Winfrey has sent a gift to Beyonce and Jay Z for their new baby girl; a trunk full of children’s books. In other words, a giant ugly black thing filled with simple messages from someone who isn’t actually good at anything but wants lots of money anyway. It’ll be just like having the real Oprah right there in the room!
Oprah Winfrey said last week that she was determined to interview OJ Simpson and get him to finally confess that he murdered Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman on June 12, 1994.
Well that was easy.
According to the National Enquirer, the interview is set to be filmed after Simpson confessed he killed the pair in self-defense to a producer from inside prison.
“He told the producer: ‘Tell Oprah that yes, I did it. I killed Nicole, but it was in self-defense. She pulled a knife on me and I had to defend myself.’
“O.J. said he went home and kept getting angrier and angrier and worked himself into an absolute rage.”
Simpson allegedly told the producer he ‘didn’t like the way she treated me in front of the kids at the restaurant. I didn’t like that she was routinely having guys have sex with her at her condo with the kids there.
‘I went over there to give her a piece of my mind.’
When he arrived and no one answered at the house, he started pounding the door and shouting.
The door allegedly then swung open and Nicole was standing there with a kitchen knife in her hand.
‘O.J. told the producer, “she was yelling go away! Go away! And waving the knife around at me. At one point she was lunging at me with the knife and I was just trying to talk to her. Nicole stepped out of the apartment - slashing the knife in the air.
“I was in such a rage that something just snapped. I couldn’t take her constant taunting of me with other men or her using drugs and drinking while my kids were living with her. I went beserk.
“Before I knew what I was doing I took the knife away from Nicole and started slashing at her. I cut her over and over again until she was lifeless. I was shocked at my own anger - I had killed the woman I had loved for so long..”‘
He allegedly went on to tell the producer he also knifed Ron Goldman in self-defense as he tried to attack Simpson when he turned up at the home soon after and spotted Nicole’s body on the floor.
Unfortunately, today a spokesperson for Oprah said, “It’s not true.”
So does that mean OJ didn’t tell her producer this? Or are certain parts not true, and she’s pouting and issuing this blanket denial because the Enquirer got the details out before she did.
Because it sounds true. That story had a lot of details, and it totally sounds dumb enough for OJ to have thought up. According to the autopsy, the wound that killed Nicole was, “gaping and exposes the larynx and cervical vertebral column. It measures 5 1/2 x 2 1/2 inches.” In other words he damn near chopped her head off. The only time you can chop someones head off in self defense is if you’re a Jedi.
DAVE CHAPELLE - is creating a new show that will air on a subscription service like Netflix or Hulu, where all the best comedies are found. (the daily)
TUPAC - would have been 40 today, and his 1996 murder is still unsolved, but yesterday a man claimed that he was hired by rap mogul James Rosemond to rob and shoot Tupac. Pac survived but later was killed in a similar ambush. Rosemond is denying these charges, but we should tell him Justin Bieber called him a fag and dared him to retaliate just in case. (fox)
OPRAH WINFREY - has a plan to boost her fledging cable network, OWN; “I have a dream of O.J. Simpson confessing to me. And I am going to make that happen.” And I have a dream where the guards forget to search OJ before leaving him alone with Oprah, and then things don’t go so well if you catch my drift. (thr)
BELEN RODRIGUEZ - did a photo shoot today in Ibiza, Spain, and who is Belen Rodriguez, you may ask? She’s a model from Argentina who looked better in these pictures before I opened the thumbnails but after I bought them from the photo agency, that’s who. (splash)
01.24.2011 afternoon headlines
NO STRINGS ATTACHED - was the only new movie in theaters this week, and it made 20 million to win a very slow weekend box office. So finally we’ve discovered that people will watch an Ashton Kutcher movie, as long as they have nothing else to choose from. (box office mojo)
SKINS - has lost two more sponsors, Subway and Schick, citing concerns that the show may be child pornography. Jersey Shore went through this same kind of thing when they started, though for different reasons, and now it’s the biggest show MTV has. It’s also dumb on Schicks part because I assume pedophiles buy lots of razors. (hr, tmz)
CHRISTINA AGUILERA - will sing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl in two weeks, then play guard for Pittsburgh. (the sun)
OPRAH WINFREY - revealed on todays show that she has a sister she never knew about. “Oprah explained that her mother had kept her pregnancy a secret and (gave the baby) up for adoption when she was nine years old.” Wait, Oprah was 9? And she never noticed her mom was pregnant? Jeez, open your eyes dummy. And women take advice from this dolt? (ew)
ELISHA CUTHBERT - has still got it, as she showed in the Toronto airport this weekend. “It” being horrible taste in clothes and a nose like a piggy. (splash)
12.14.2010 Oprah tried to kill Hugh Jackman
Hugh Jackman rode a zip line from the top of the Sydney Opera House down to the stage where Oprah Winfrey was filming one of her Australia shows today, but then instead of stopping, he crashed into a lighting rig which broke and sent a small piece of glass into his eye. “Hey you’re payin for that,” Oprah probably thought to herself. “What am I, made out of lighting rigs?”
Sky News says…
Jackman flipped 90 degrees on impact and damaged a spotlight, then hung from the gantry for several seconds before descending to the stage.
‘It’s a little hot up here,’ were Jackman’s first words.
‘I’m not hundred per cent, I’ve hurt my eye.’
Winfrey called for an ice-pack and paramedics rushed to the stage to treat Jackman for his injury as a break was ordered in the filming of the program.
Maybe Jackman had an accident because people aren’t supposed to be zip lining into rooms. I know he’s a big action star, but this had disaster written all over it. And I’m no pansy. In fact I’m a complete badass. I even have a cobra tattoo on the top of my foot, because my kicks are like the sting of the mighty cobra.
10.04.2010 Oprah Winfrey and her gay lover went camping
(NOTE: the picture in the headline is an artists depiction of what this story would look like if it was awesome, as opposed to gross)
If there’s one thing that all straight women love, it’s camping, so no wonder Oprah Winfrey and her longtime companion Gayle King went camping this weekend in Yosemite. Why else would they go off together?
(Radar has learned Winfrey and King) were spotted at an REI store Friday morning in Fresno, California shopping for camping supplies on their way up to Yosemite National Park.
“I didn’t think Oprah was the type to do tents but her and Gayle scooped up all sorts of supplies,” (a source) said.
“They bought sleeping bags, lawn chairs, water bottles and fanny packs too.”
Oprah had her crew from The Oprah Winfrey Show documenting her trip with Gayle over the weekend … it should air later in October.
Why won’t this bitch just admit that she’s gay? It’s actually really insulting. No one cares anymore if someone is gay or not. It would only matter if you’re my friend Greg and you’ve texted me twice today because you wanna come out of the closet, in which case you need to just keep that shit to yourself.
