Thursday headlines, with the return of Dave Chapelle

DAVE CHAPELLE - is creating a new show that will air on a subscription service like Netflix or Hulu, where all the best comedies are found. (the daily) TUPAC - would have been 40 today, and his 1996 murder is still unsolved, but yesterday a man claimed that he was hired by rap mogul James Rosemond to rob and shoot Tupac. Pac survived but later was killed in a similar ambush. Rosemond is denying these charges, but we...read more

afternoon headlines

NO STRINGS ATTACHED - was the only new movie in theaters this week, and it made 20 million to win a very slow weekend box office. So finally we've discovered that people will watch an Ashton Kutcher movie, as long as they have nothing else to choose from. (box office mojo) SKINS - has lost two more sponsors, Subway and Schick, citing concerns that the show may be child pornography. Jersey Shore went through this same...read more

Oprah tried to kill Hugh Jackman

Hugh Jackman rode a zip line from the top of the Sydney Opera House down to the stage where Oprah Winfrey was filming one of her Australia shows today, but then instead of stopping, he crashed into a lighting rig which broke and sent a small piece of glass into his eye. "Hey you're payin for that," Oprah probably thought to herself. "What am I, made out of lighting rigs?" Sky News says... Jackman flipped 90...read more

Oprah Winfrey and her gay lover went camping

(NOTE: the picture in the headline is an artists depiction of what this story would look like if it was awesome, as opposed to gross) If there's one thing that all straight women love, it's camping, so no wonder Oprah Winfrey and her longtime companion Gayle King went camping this weekend in Yosemite. Why else would they go off together? (Radar has learned Winfrey and King) were spotted at an REI store Friday morning...read more

Oprah Winfrey is paying for everything this time (update!)

Oprah Winfrey has been ridiculed in the past for her "My Favorite Things" episodes, where she gives her studio audience extravagant gifts, because, among other reasons, they still have to pay taxes on those gifts, the most famous example being the $7,000 they had to pay on a new car. But this year she's planning ahead. She's bringing over 300 members of her audience and staff to Australia for 8 days, and to make sure...read more

Oprah Winfrey is screwing Australia for $3,000,000

Oprah Winfrey loves all the free press and adulation she gets when she has her big giveaway show and everyone in the audience gets some amazing gift. What she doesn't love is being the one that pays for any of it. Like when she gave away 276 Pontiac G6‘s. Pontiac paid for all that. Cost them 7 million dollars. And the audience had to pay the taxes (Daily Show report here). To her credit, this blog says she gave the...read more

"you were a size 4 and people were calling you fat"

Jessica Simpson will be on tomorrows Oprah Winfrey show, and she won't really talk about John Mayer saying how good she is sexually ("I don't want people to know how I am in bed!") but she does address the fact that she's real fat now. Simpson opens up about her weight, telling Winfrey she is "absolutely" comfortable with her body. "I love my curves, she says. "I'm not going to ever be size 0, and I don't want to...read more

i dont feel so good

For the past 10 years Kirstie Alley has been in a contest with Mad Cow Disease to see who could put away the most cattle. Because of this, her weight has fluctuated wildly, from 400 pounds all the way up to 402. But 2010 began a new diet and a new fitness regimen. The results so far have been amazing. On Twitter, she wrote... YEEEHAA WOOHOO... LOST 6 POUNDS since Jan.1 Yay yay... so 6 pounds in 11 days... I'll take...read more

thursday morning headlines

OPRAH WINFREY - is an idiot. She tried to wipe the birthmark off Drew Brees' face, saying she thought it was lipstick. More likely she thought it was chocolate. He's lucky she didn't bite him. (wonderwall) KRISTIN CAVALLARI - was scouring Miami last week looking for cocaine, and her drug problems may become a topic on 'the Hills', giving me a whole new storyline to never watch or care about in any way. (us.com) ...read more

oprah tore apart jay leno

The only thing Jay Leno has done right for the past year was hiring Jim Norton as the only source of comedy on Lenos comedy show. Other than that his stupid show was about as fun as getting raped by a bear whose penis was on fire. Jay has guessed wrong and fucked up at every turn, and now people have a very justified hatred of him because of it. His instincts failed him yet again this week when he sat down with Oprah...read more

this is why oprah is quitting her talk show

Well, not specifically this reason. Not because Bar Rafaeli has new bikini pictures in Victorias Secret. But because of girls in general. The Enquirer says… Oprah Winfrey is quitting her show for her BFF Gayle King - and they're moving in together! The move will also mark the end of Oprah's longtime relationship with Stedman Graham, (as Oprah) focuses her attention on grooming Gayle for her own talk show... As part of...read more

afternoon headlines

OPRAH WINFREY - had Charla Nash as a guest on her show yesterday. She's the woman from Connecticut who had her face and hands bitten off by a pet monkey last year. It's hard to describe what she looks like now, so just scream at the top of your lungs. There. She looks like that. (oprah.com) DONALD TRUMP - is number 2 on this list of the ten highest paid men on television. He somehow made 50M off 'the Apprentice',...read more

morning headlines

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER - wrote a letter to the California state assembly yesterday (read it here) after they approved some new plan to give away more free money, and it was all TLDNR, but I somehow feel I got the gist of what he was trying to say anyway. (wall street journal) OPRAH WINFREY - is a drunk and a drug addict, and her longtime boyfriend Stedman Graham has dumped her because of it. Not only that, now she's...read more

STUFF FROM ALL OVER

JAY LENO IS MOVING TO PRIME TIME – In one of the more staggering Hollywood comebacks you'll ever see, Jay Leno has somehow gone from fired to promoted. He’s already been replaced as the Tonight Show host by Conan O’Brian starting next year, but now NBC has announced he will essentially be doing the same show in prime time, at 10:00 pm, 5 nights a week. His salary, rumored to be around 30 million a year, is expected to...read more

HAHAHA, YOU SUCK OPRAH

Oprah Winfreys tubby ass got duped yesterday by a posting on her message board that the savvy team of old fat women who work for her couldn’t crack. Oprah said…"... if you still don’t understand what our children are up against, let me read you something that was posted on our message board, from someone who claims to be a member of a known pedophile network, it said this, 'he does not forgive, he does not forget, his...read more