Russell Brand Gets Married

September 4, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I’ve always been skeptical about celebrities that come from the U.K. because of my upbringing. So I have a natural affinity for distrusting men with long hair who consume entirely too much tea.


Russell Brand Raising Baby Gender Neutral

November 15, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Russell Brand intends to raise his new baby gender neutral, without all those horrid expectations of boys or girls put upon them solely by society. Is that a vagina? No, it’s a social construct. Same reason you can’t throw a spiral. Tackle me and I will cry. No, I’m not a girl. I’m Tom Brady.


Russell Brand Honored As Idiot

December 4, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Russell Brand received an award for saying unnecessarily stupid shit from the Plain English Campaign, a British organization which advocates the use of normal language over complex jargon which often means nothing and confuses the dumb. Each year the association designates a Foot In Mouth Award winner because they are spectacularly cheeky. Brand’s knack for […]


Russell Brand Wrestles With Truth

October 30, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Russell Brand addressed the casual speculation and educated guesses that he simply has to be gay.┬áBrand broke up with his girlfriend and took the opportunity to expound on his sexuality. It’s not that anyone gives a fuck but sometimes you want to hear someone say it so you can go “Yep” and move on. Like […]


If Russell Brand Is Mayor, What’s the City?

October 27, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Russell Brand is reportedly mulling over a run for mayor of London. It’s unclear if he will be widely considered intelligent in a land where everyone else has the same ridiculous accent that makes them seem smart for precisely one sentence. Brand is essentially that cousin who comes to Thanksgiving after his first semester of […]


Katty Perry Didn’t Want To Have Russell Brand’s Womb Ferrets (VIDEO)

December 11, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Katy Perry finally revealed the true reason why she and human hard-on Russell Brand split up: he wanted to fill her with a baby. It seems that the prancing Limey really wants to be a father. Katy just wasn’t ready to have kids because there are too many insipid repetitive songs left to be sung […]


Russell Brand Kicked Out Of Awards Show

September 6, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

The former Mr. Katy Perry, Russell Brand, was kicked out of the GQ Men of the Year Awards for gettin all political.I didn’t even know GQ had awards. I thought they just printed ads with homosexual models wearing overpriced clothes. Instead of just thanking his fans and GQ like an adult, he decided to do […]


Islamists Declare A Jihad On Russell Brand

June 21, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Russell Brand had to cancel his tour dates in the Middle East over concerns for his safety. You might remember Brand from such films as Forgetting Sarah Marshall or as the dude who used to fuck Katy Perry. Russell was planning on playing in Abu Dhabi and Lebanon on his Messiah Complex tour as a […]


Russell Brand Destroyed Some MSNBC Hosts (VIDEO)

June 19, 2013 | video | editor| 0 Comments

Cable news is probably one of the worst things in the world, behind cancer and blog posts about things that remind you of the 90s, and that’s why we’re lucky, for once, to have a guy like Russell Brand fuck with the system. Brand was on Morning Joe on Monday to talk about his show, […]


Russell Brand Is Still Talking About Katy Perry

June 6, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Katy Perry and Russell Brand knew each other for a little more than a year before they got married in 2010, and they’d been married a little more than one year before they filed for divorce in 2011. So it’s safe to say that neither of them is in much of a position to offer […]