Ryan Seacrest is one the studio hosts for NBC during their Olympic coverage, which is making professional sports reporters angry because oh fuck off stop crying. It pales in comparison to the other thing NBC is fucking up during the Olympics, which is literally everything.
“Everyone in the industry is talking about what a bad move it was to include Ryan Seacrest on the NBC coverage this year,” a journalist for a major sports network, who wishes to remain anonymous, told Radar.
“Ryan is the face of mainstream celebrity media, and there’s supposed to be something sacred and pure about the Olympics. Ryan’s not up to speed on the athletes in the way that they should be covered.”
Uh, this is the same network who employs Peter King to talk about football, and Peter King is a fucking moron. He opens his Sports Illustrated column today by making the case for Russell Wilson to start at QB in Seattle because he “leads all rookies in charisma.” Granted there’s no stat for that, but only because it’s not a real thing. Say what you will about Ryan Seacrest, but at least he’s not ranking the athletes in imaginary categories.
Last week it was rumored that Sacha Baron Cohen wanted to walk the Oscar red carpet in character to promote his new movie ‘The Dictator’, and apparently that rumor was true, because that’s what he did. And then he dumped ashes all over Ryan Seacrest.
“Part of me thought he would be up to something,” Ryan said. Perhaps the part that was eye level with a gold urn that had Kim Jong Il’s face painted on it.
Madonna was on Ryan Seacrests radio show this morning, and even though her entire career is based on being a “scandalous” attention whore, she thinks it’s juvenile and desperate when other people do the very same thing.
Madonna says her Super Bowl experience was filled with “warmth, love, and support,” but when it came to M.I.A.‘s digit malfunction, (she) was not happy.
“I wasn’t happy about it. I understand it’s punk rock and everything, but to me there was such a feeling of love and good energy, and positivity — it seemed negative. It’s such a teenager…irrelevant thing to do.”
That’s right Madonna. What M.I.A. does is “punk rock”, and flipping off a crowd is a “teenager” thing. After that Madonna told Ryan about the time she caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. “I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…”
Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough spent another day in St. Barts, diving off the front of their enormous yacht and jumping waves on a see-doo. And the sea-doo was made of gold, with pink diamonds for buttons, and then they rode around on a pegasus who was also made of gold.
Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough are on vacation in Saint Barts this week, and today Julianne went to the beach. Don’t get too excited though because, as always, she was dull and average in every way. I had more fun just looking at the sand.