I’ve always acknowledged that I’m the only person on earth who doesn’t think Ryan Seacrest is gay, but I assumed I wasn’t literally the only one. Now it turns out that Julianne Hough of ‘Dancing with the Stars’, the girl he’s been dating since April, had been turning him down for years because she thought he was a homo too.
When a pal asked how the two became an item, (Hough) reportedly said that Seacrest had been chasing her since she was 18.
“He totally wasn’t my type. I thought he was gay.”
“After a few years, he was persistent so I went out with him on a date and I realized how much I liked him.”
It should be noted that Seacrest is 35 and Hough is 22. So when she says he was after her at 18, she doesn’t mean when they were in high school. People will still say he’s gay, but I judge guys by the quality of kitty they hit, so according to my calculations he and I are total badasses.
I don’t watch this whole clip from last night’s American Idol, but at the very end of it Ryan Seacrest offers the guy a congratulatory high five, and the dude just ignores him. It's right after his brother guides him out of the audition room to make sure he doesn’t walk into any doors or walls. He just stands there looking straight ahead, seemingly more concerned with his fancy cane than accepting Seacrests congratulations. That guy is a real jerk!
I have no rational explanation for why I don’t hate Ryan Seacrest, but I don’t. There I said it. I know I should, but I don’t. I think hosting live TV is really really really hard. That’s why no one does it. But he does it as well as you can, especially considering the goofy crap he’s asked to host. Anyway, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt don’t appear to be as open-minded as me, as you can tell by the way they completely ignored him on the Golden Globes red carpet last night. No one has been shot down that harshly since Jessica Alba tried to give me a blowjob in the bathroom at Hyde. I have a girlfriend Jess. Deal with it.
Kellie Pickler returned to American Idol last night and débuted a new song and new huge boobs. Ryan Seacrest asks her what she has spent her money on lately and Kellie says shoes, and Ryan says "just shoes?". It's actually kind of clever. Alright, fuck it, am I the only one on earth who doesn't think Seacrest is a homo? I just don't see it. Although maybe he got super gay this year and I don't know it because I haven't watched a single episode. Based on a recent poll of my grandparents, I'm a precious angel and shouldn't watch shows like that, although you'd never know it by reading my t-shirt with a kitten in sunglasses and the phrase "Here Comes Trouble!".
