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Tom Cruise Working Something Big

Tom Cruise has received permission from the partially ethereal leaders of the Church of Scientology to move into L. Ron Hubbard's old castle digs in England and spruce it up a bit. The former Hubbard home before he headed to sea to avoid tax jailis located in the Vermont of the U.K. East Grinstead is filled with wacky hippies and cultists and people who cut their own hair and churn bitter butter in between stenciling...read more

Tom Cruise Persona Non Grata

Persistent rumors indicate Tom Cruise is thinking about leaving the Church of Scientology, at which point we canstop discussing whether or not he is gay because they will purchase a two hour block of prime time to air his bathhouse fucktapes. Cruise's nine year old daughter Suri is not being raised in the church possibly because Katie Holmes spurned them after shecashed the check for answering their mailorder bride...read more

Tom Cruise Is Missing And Shit Around The Web

Reports coming out of dead-eyed Katie Holmes' camp claim that demented dwarf Tom Cruise hasn't seen his daughter Suri in over a year. Since he owns his own plane, a couple helicopters, and four rickshaw boys from the Canton province, it seems unlikely he's been unable to find transportation. Read all about Risky Business' shitty parenting. (TMZ) Martha Hunt is topless in a building just for you. (Egotastic) Gigi Hadid...read more

Scientologists Really Really Angry

A new documentary called Going Clear is being roundly applauded at the Sundance Film Festival which likely means it's cloying and unwatchable. It spills a bunch of beans about Scientology like how they abuse children and subvert labor laws andhypothesizes Nicole Kidman left Tom Cruise because he was way too into the Churchalthough it doesn't mention his love of the cock. The Church of Scientology is super pissed at...read more

Emily Blunt Took Tom Cruise To A Sex Club (VIDEO)

Emily Blunt was a guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night to promote her new film Edge of Tomorrow, which stars Tom Cruise, and she told a story about how Tom was so eager to be a part of the gang that he asked to join Emily and her husband John Krasinski in whatever they were doing for Matt Damon's birthday one night. John thought it would be a great idea to go to a London sex club, so they did and Tom happily went...read more

Tom Cruise Likes to Abandon Things

Tom Cruise had been suing Life & Style magazine for $50 million for claiming he abandoned Suri after his divorce from Katie Holmes. The magazine had based their accusation on the fact that Tom disappeared for some number of months after the divorce, while Tom claimed that reality wasn't all it seemed and who are we humans anyhow to claim to know the truth. Also, keeping his secrets locked in a shame closet take a...read more

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Tom Cruise Sues the Shit Out of a Magazine

Some ladies gossip magazine wrote that Tom Cruise 'abandoned' his daughter Suri after Katie Holmes renounced Tom and Xenu in one fell swoop. So, Tom Cruise sued them for $50 million for defamation and libel and slander and everything else that means 'you hurt my feelings, now give me money'. But in the very first round of depositions, Tom admitted that he didn't see Suri for 110 days straight after the divorce. Tom...read more

Connor Cruise Seems Grounded

While Tom Cruise was married to Nicole Kidman, they adopted two children (possibly because he found it difficult to get her pregnant through having sex with men), and one of those kids was a boy named Connor Cruise. Now 18, Connor is doing amazing things with his father's famous name, and by amazing I mean that he's a professional DJ flying around the world in a private jet. Hey, I don't blame the guy for taking...read more

Ex-Scientologists Protested At Tom Cruise's Oblivion Premiere

Last year, while he was filming his new sci-fi movie Oblivion, Tom Cruise was in the middle of his divorce from Katie Holmes. But he needed people to remember that no matter what happened with this, his third divorce, he was still a walking, talking boner machine that loved having sex with hot women. And in this case, it was his co-star Olga Kurylenko. Of course, even though Olga was dating someone else, she was still...read more

Wednesday Morning Headlines

VICTOR GARBER - of 'Argo', 'Titanic', 'Alias', etc., has come out and said he's gay. And good for him. No one should ever hide or be ashamed of the person they date, unless that person is from Alabama. (greg in hollywood) ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER - whose movie 'the Last Stand' is getting surprisingly good reviews, did an AMA (Ask Me Anything) on reddit last night, later saying this was his favorite part, and even did a...read more

Tom Cruises 'Oblivion' has its first trailer

‘Oblivion' is set on earth 60 years after a cataclysmic attack, and if we had Wall-E technology it was destroyed because now Tom Cruise has to do that job. He and some girl are all that's left, and she warns Tom Cruise not to take any chances. He immediately takes some dangerous chances, and some wolf thing tricks him and handcuffs him to a chair. Ahh, or was it Morgan Freeman, who I guess just sat in the dark waiting...read more

'Jack Reacher' has a new trailer

This first full trailer for 'Jack Reacher' is a little underwhelming, and it really should have kept the name 'One Shot', but it's directed by the great Christopher McQuarrie and produced by Skydance, which is as close as you can get to a sure thing in Hollywood. It even has Werner Herzog as the villain. Every single person involved with this is smart and really good at making movies, it has to be good. Still,...read more

Tom Cruise might be leaving Scientology. But why?

This seems unlikely, but Star says Tom Cruise has been distancing himself from Scientology in the wake of his divorce from Katie Holmes and spending more time with non-Scientologist friends because he feels it has hurt him both personally and professionally. "Tom's been leaning on friends who have different perspectives, getting advice on moving on from Katie as well as on everything he's been going through with...read more

Lindsay wants tax cuts for people mislabeled by Forbes

Lindsay Lohan was speaking for all of us last night when she stood up to those fat cats in DC and let them know that tax cuts for the middle class are not enough, we also needs tax cuts for people who are mistakingly listed as a millionaire in magazines. If we're ever gonna get America working again, we need to lift the tax burden on those one or two people who might exist! And that was the second tweet in three days...read more

Yolanda Pecoraro could be the next Mrs. Tom Cruise

Yolanda Pecoraro, who for some reason is named "Yolanda" but isn't black, is reportedly a candidate to become Mrs. Tom Cruise 4: Ghost Protocol. Not because she and Tom are in a successful relationship, but because she's a Scientologist, and has been since she was 13, thanks to her parents, who are also Scientologists. The Daily Mail says... Another insider claims that then church will do whatever it takes to provide...read more