Top Gun 2 Is On Like Donkey Kong

Top Gun was a testimony to how films in the 80's sucked yet were commercially successful. Exactly like every other decade. Only the 80's movies were saturated with the Glenn Frey and Kenny Loggins anthems. So worse.  read more

Tom Cruise Not Even Well Liked Within Scientology

Leah Remini is hosting a tell-all documentary series on A&E about Scientology. It's a career move for those who'd like to wonder about the headlights in the rear view mirror for the rest of their lives. read more

Tom Cruise Working Something Big

Tom Cruise has received permission from the partially ethereal leaders of the Church of Scientology to move into L. Ron Hubbard's old castle digs in England and spruce it up a bit. The former Hubbard home before he headed to sea to avoid tax jail is located in the... read more

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Tom Cruise Persona Non Grata

Persistent rumors indicate Tom Cruise is thinking about leaving the Church of Scientology, at which point we can stop discussing whether or not he is gay because they will purchase a two hour block of prime time to air his bathhouse fuck tapes. Cruise's nine year old... read more

Tom Cruise Is Missing And Shit Around The Web

Reports coming out of dead-eyed Katie Holmes' camp claim that demented dwarf Tom Cruise hasn't seen his daughter Suri in over a year. Since he owns his own plane, a couple helicopters, and four rickshaw boys from the Canton province, it seems unlikely he's been unable to... read more

Scientologists Really Really Angry

A new documentary called Going Clear is being roundly applauded at the Sundance Film Festival which likely means it's cloying and unwatchable. It spills a bunch of beans about Scientology like how they abuse children and subvert labor laws and hypothesizes Nicole Kidman... read more

Emily Blunt Took Tom Cruise To A Sex Club (VIDEO)

Emily Blunt was a guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night to promote her new film Edge of Tomorrow, which stars Tom Cruise, and she told a story about how Tom was so eager to be a part of the gang that he asked to join Emily and her husband John Krasinski in whatever they... read more

Tom Cruise Likes to Abandon Things

Tom Cruise had been suing Life & Style magazine for $50 million for claiming he abandoned Suri after his divorce from Katie Holmes. The magazine had based their accusation on the fact that Tom disappeared for some number of months after the divorce, while Tom claimed... read more

Tom Cruise Sues the Shit Out of a Magazine

Some ladies gossip magazine wrote that Tom Cruise 'abandoned' his daughter Suri after Katie Holmes renounced Tom and Xenu in one fell swoop. So, Tom Cruise sued them for $50 million for defamation and libel and slander and everything else that means 'you hurt my... read more

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Connor Cruise Seems Grounded

While Tom Cruise was married to Nicole Kidman, they adopted two children (possibly because he found it difficult to get her pregnant through having sex with men), and one of those kids was a boy named Connor Cruise. Now 18, Connor is doing amazing things with his... read more

Ex-Scientologists Protested At Tom Cruise's Oblivion Premiere

Last year, while he was filming his new sci-fi movie Oblivion, Tom Cruise was in the middle of his divorce from Katie Holmes. But he needed people to remember that no matter what happened with this, his third divorce, he was still a walking, talking boner machine that... read more

Wednesday Morning Headlines

VICTOR GARBER - of 'Argo', 'Titanic', 'Alias', etc., has come out and said he's gay. And good for him. No one should ever hide or be ashamed of the person they date, unless that person is from Alabama. (greg in hollywood) ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER - whose movie 'the Last... read more