do Suris legs not work or something

Yesterday Tom Cruise picked up his daughter Suri for his first visitation, and he hasn't put her down since. They went to Tom's hotel, then left the hotel to get in a car, which took them to her gymnastics class, and today they got on a helicopter, and Cruise carried her the entire time. She's 6. Seems a little old to be carried everywhere. Tom should tell her to stop being such a needy little princess, just like my...read more

Tom Cruise got to visit Suri today

Tom Cruise was allowed to visit his daughter Suri in New York today for the first time since Katie Holmes filed for divorce, the Daily Mail says. Because, remember, he's the bad parent. His religion takes millions of dollars from it's members and believes in an all powerful being who came to earth a long time ago, whereas Katie Holmes is a Catholic.read more

try and guess if Suri got this puppy

No. She didn't. Katie Holmes took Suri to a pet store in New York, and they looked at puppies, a "morkie" and a French bulldog, but then they didn't get one, and Suri cried. A lot. The photo agency described her as "inconsolable". And then an hour after that, this mysterious brochure was slid under Suri's door titled, "Scientology. We have like a million puppies!" (image source = splash)read more

Tom Cruise is threatening to sue the Enquirer

This weeks cover for the Enquirer claims Tom Cruise kept Katie Holmes trapped in a HOUSE OF HORRORS (yellow arrow pointing to said house, thankfully included), that "the real Tom is a monster" who locked their daughter Suri in a "tiny, windowless room" for 5 months, that Katie had a secret breakdown, and that Paula Dean lied about how she lost 30 pounds. Surprisingly, Tom Cruise has taken offense to this (except for...read more

did Katie Holmes even try to save her marriage

The LA Times says that when Katie Holmes decided to divorce Tom Cruise, she used disposable cell phones provided by a friend to secretly contact lawyers, and Us weekly says she confided in Nicole Kidman while she "secretly plotted to end her marriage", and People says her "secretive exit strategy" included moving into a new apartment in Manhattan. And then they also say this: The still-stunned (Cruise) "was a happy...read more

Scientologists think Tom Cruise has telepathic powers

Tom Cruise has reportedly reached such an advanced level in Scientology that he now has power over the physical universe and can bend the wills of men. And also animals. Because religion and Call of Duty work the same way; you achieve and unlock levels. Cruise is at the very advanced "OT VII" stage. Operative Thetans (have) total 'control' over themselves and their environment. OTs can allegedly move inanimate objects...read more

Katie Holmes could make $50 million to divorce Tom Cruise

According to Forbes, Tom Cruise has made over $240 million since he married Katie Holmes in 2006(*), so while there are no specific details about what she's getting paid for her shockingly fast and civil (in this case meaning no leaks to the tabloids about her thoughts on Scientology) divorce settlement from Tom Cruise, suffice to say it will be a lot. "I probably make the estimate between $20 million to, maybe, 40,...read more

Tom and Katie have reached a divorce settlement

When Katie Holmes filed for divorce from Tom Cruise, it was immediately followed by dire predictions about how long and nasty the settlement would be. Well now we have the answer: "12 days" and "not at all". Though no specific details are known just yet, People says an arrangement has been reached, Cruise and Holmes have both signed it, and... "Sources close to both sides say that Cruise and Holmes were working on an...read more

whats the latest with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes?

I hope that headline didn't imply that I know all the latest developments in the divorce between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Oh my God this stupid thing is so confusing, and there's like a billion stories on it every day! CRUISE WILL FILE RIVAL DIVORCE PAPERS - probably in California, and may ask for full custody of Suri. Did you know you're not allowed to bluff when asking for full custody, and you actually have to...read more

'Jack Reacher' has a trailer

Everyone agrees that Tom Cruise is a member of a scary cult that takes advantage of people, and that's very bad, but his new movie is directed by Christopher McQuarrie who wrote 'the Usual Suspects' and wrote and directed 'The Way of the Gun', which is THE SINGLE GREATEST MOVIE EVER MADE. So if Tom Cruise is what it takes to get a new Christopher McQuarrie movie than he could be in the fucking Manson Family for all I...read more

Katie Holmes seems to be doing ok

Rather than hide and let things build up into some weird frenzy, Katie Holmes moved on with her life today, taping a guest judge appearance on 'Project Runway: All Stars' at the Parsons School for Design in New York. It's her first public appearance since her divorce to Tom Cruise was announced on Friday. Which is good because there's no word on when her next public appearance might be. It really all depends on how...read more

you'll never guess why Katie Holmes is divorcing Tom Cruise

It would be easy to paint Scientology as some scary cult that has given Katie Holmes no choice but to divorce Tom Cruise, and that's because Scientology is a scary cult that has given Katie Holmes no choice but to divorce Tom Cruise. So here's a timeline explaining how we got here, and it's kinda long but don't skip to the end without paying me or else you'll die of pneumonia (I'm just like Scientology). February,...read more

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting a divorce

Celebrity news stories are often described as "shocking", and they almost never are, but this one might be because after five seemingly happy years of marriage, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting a divorce. People magazine says... "This is a personal and private matter for Katie and her family," says Holmes's attorney. "Katie's primary concern remains, as it always has been, her daughter's best interest."...read more

can you even tell who this is?

This very famous actress arrived at the airport in Nice today on her way to the Cannes Film Festival, but who is it? Is it the ghost of Shelly Long? Does Taylor Swift have progeria? I'll give you a hint: it's Nicole Kidman. Did that help? Have you figured out who this is? I've been staring at it for 5 minutes and I'm still not certain that I have. (image source = fame/flynet)read more

Isabella Cruise covered for absentee mom Nicole Kidman

Kids, especially adopted kids, are at their most confident and secure in their early teens. They're fearless pillars of strength who embrace every setback as an exciting new challenge. That's why it's really no big deal that Nicole Kidman bailed on the two kids she adopted with Tom Cruise. In fact she hasn't been photographed with her daughter Isabella, 19, or her son Conner, 17, in over 5 years. Luckily for her,...read more