If you’re like me, you’re a god-like 6’5″ with eyes as deep and blue as the ocean. More to the point, lingering health issues have kicked your ass for the past 2 days while Lindsay Lohan was at her Lindsay Lohanist.

After formally being charged with lying to police in Santa Monica about her car crash in June, potentially sued for breach of contract by the producers of ‘Liz and Dick’, and arrested in New York for assaulting yet another girl in a bar (this time over a guy in the boy band The Wanted), Lindsay was bailed out of jail by her assistant (the same one she blamed for the June crash), then promptly had him kicked out of the car. The one that he brought for her (video above).

He’s taking it remarkably well however, and his only statement has been to tweet that he hopes she gets the help she needs. Maybe stop drinking two liters of vodka a day, for example. I haven’t run any tests or anything but I assume that’s bad.

They even ran into each other at her hotel in New York last night, and of course she started a fight and made herself out to be the victim. X17 says…

“Lindsay instigated a fight in the lobby of the Dream Hotel as she was headed to the Electric Room and apparently it was BAD. Someone who works at the hotel says the fight was absolutely ‘epic.’ They were fighting about her drug use and Lindsay was saying she feels abandoned.”

Abandon Lindsay? Oh but why would anyone do that, she seems delightful. Sure she lied to the police about him, but only to frame him for a crime. It’s not like she did it for no reason.