friday afternoon headlines

By brendon January 15, 2010 @ 5:31 PM


TIGER WOODS - is donating $3M in medical care and supplies to help those affected by the earthquake in Haiti, and he may give even more to a similar charity run by Wyclef Jean. In a related story, I got a new cashmere blanket and slept like a little angel last night. Actually I guess those two stories arent that related. (fox sports)

WYCLEF JEAN - Remember that story about Tiger Woods donating money to Wyclefs Jeans charity to help those affected by the earthquake in Haiti? Well it could really enrich a lot of lives, although mostly Wyclefs, because apparently he keeps most of the money for himself. (the smoking gun)

OPIE AND ANTHONY - had celebrity journalist Ian Halperin on the show this morning, and he claims he’s heard the Tiger Woods sex tape. And I don’t mean to brag, but I saw 5 new songs from Kanye, and kicked that Jessica Alba is pregnant again. Look at me everyone, I’m a journalist! (youtube)

CONAN O’BRIEN - is out to salvage what he can from the Tonight Show, so he put it up for sale on craigslist. When Leno saw the ad, he laughed really loud and clapped his hands and said how funny it was, then went behind the scenes and ordered someone to beat up Conans wife. (craigslist)

JENNIFER HAWKINS - is yet another hot Aussie model in a bikini, but unlike Lara, Megan, Erin, and Jessica, Jennifer was in Santa Monica yesterday. The fool doesn’t even know she’s fallen right into my trap. Go ahead my sweet, yell all you want, they can’t hear you in Australia.

(36) Comments

  1. avatar
    Thundercunt 01/15/2010 17:37

    Damn this chick is fit!

    She better have a tight little snapper under there, ’cause if she has a deflated balloon like Britney, I’ll be sufficiently let down.

  2. avatar
    LittleSpaceMonkey 01/15/2010 17:38

    Wow. That Jennifer Hawkins is a gorgeous girl. I think that’s the prettiest one of the week. I wish Victoria’s Secret would hire more girls like that.

  3. avatar
    DB's Treasure 01/15/2010 17:41

    I’d say her ass is waaay too tiny, but who am I kidding??? I’d fuck that broad with the power of heaven’s army.

  4. avatar
    Observer 01/15/2010 17:44

    I wouldn’t go NEAR a chick like Jennifer Hawkins…..

    ….mostly because of tight security……

  5. avatar
    Headly 01/15/2010 17:51

    Mmmm, that’s some high quality snaparoo right there, kids…


    Greetings Deebs. How goes it?

  6. avatar
    Zombie 01/15/2010 17:52

    (from previous thread)

    Pepper, the Vikings are favored because of home field advantage. The weather, crowd, and turf put the odds in Minnesota’s favor. Therefore, with this given spread, your team will have to beat mine by 3 points in order for you to win the bet. Honestly part of me is rooting for Favre in the game, otherwise I’d bet you straight up. But with this spread, Favre can win by 1 or 2 points and I’ll still kick your ass. Whaddaya say old pal?

  7. avatar
    whatizdat 01/15/2010 17:53

    I think I am drooling
    and not from my mouth

  8. avatar
    pepper 01/15/2010 17:54

    Ok. I’ll take it Vikings have to win by more then 2 points?

  9. avatar
    pepper 01/15/2010 17:55 going to kent again?

  10. avatar
    Headly 01/15/2010 17:56

    Zombie, who do you like in the Taints/Cards matchup?

  11. avatar
    Zombie 01/15/2010 17:57

    That is correct Pepper… oh and, I’d spidermonkey the feces out of that bitch’s tiny little ass.

  12. avatar
    Headly 01/15/2010 17:59

    “spidermonkey the feces” Okay, that made me laugh out loud…

  13. avatar
    pepper 01/15/2010 18:01

    Ok, The bet is on….loser stays away from here for one month.

  14. avatar
    Zombie 01/15/2010 18:01

    Considering they’re playing in New Orleans I’m going with the Saints. If they were playing in Arizona, where the home refs literally decided the game against the Packers last week, I would say Cardinals.

    Saints 35 Cardinals 21

  15. avatar
    DB's Treasure 01/15/2010 18:02

    Headly, always a pleasure. I figured you’d be halfway through a bottle of Tanqueray by now.

  16. avatar
    Headly 01/15/2010 18:03

    As you might imagine, that’s the consensus here too. I’m actually gonna be in a suite for the game. And I have reliable information that I may be very, very drunk by the end of it, so I may need you guys to tell me who won.

  17. avatar
    Headly 01/15/2010 18:05

    Deebs, I have been drunk off my ass the last two nights, and will be the next three. The Ketel One factory is laying on an extra shift just to keep up. And the drinking lamp is lit for me in about 30 minutes. Gotta keep this train a-rollin’!

  18. avatar
    whatizdat 01/15/2010 18:07

    If not this weekend Pepper, next weekend, my birthday next week

  19. avatar
    DB's Treasure 01/15/2010 18:07

    Who needs a liver anyway, amirite!?!?

  20. avatar
    Headly 01/15/2010 18:08

    Feckin’ useless organ, sez I.

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